i feel like i need to say this...

sometimes i feel like people don't read my blog...my blog is open to public viewing; therefore, if a stranger reads this and it saves their life or even some heartache then it will be worth it...many of you know that the last part of the summer and into the fall was a very hard time for me...i lost several people who were very dear to me...they ranged in age from 19 to 58...one of the deaths was totally senseless...this is where the story begins...

ambien is a very dangerous drug...i did not believe this for a long time, but now i am convinced it needs to be taken off the market...it is now my mission to contact congressmen, doctors and anyone else who will listen to me about the dangers of this drug...i had been taken ambien for a while because i do have horrible insomnia...i began doing strange things about three weeks ago...cooking in the middle of the night, eating everything in the house, talking in my sleep...well much to my surprise, this morning when i checked the mail, there was a new credit card from cato in there...i have no recollection of this...tonight when i got home there were four packages from amazon on my couch...i only remember ordering two...when i opened the other two i found a book and a party tray organizer...for those of you who know me well know that ordering a book could be considered normal...but a party tray organizer...no way...the kicker to all of this is that i got written up for something at work last week that i have no recollection of...nothing...all of this stuff i do not remember....when i my job became involved i had to draw the line...the only thing i can link it to is the ambien....what if i had gotten behind the wheel of a car...a very dear friend of mine began taking ambien and very shortly after killed himself...he left behind a beautiful wife and two darling daughters....he had no idea what he was doing....this drug is horrible...it may benefit some but the more i research this the more i think it harms more than it does good...

if you don't agree that is fine...but please respect my opinions...i feel this is very heavy on my heart and i am doing my part to bring awareness to the major side effects of this medicine....

ok i'm a thief...but Jesus died beside one...

My very best friend in the whole wide world posted this. The author is unknown but it is POWERFUL! I hope you get as much out of it as I did!

Letter From Jesus About Christmas

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town. Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it: 1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up . . . It will be nice hearing from you again.4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary - especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS
Human Author Unknown, Divine Author Close To My Heart

stories as promised....

here is a warning...jamie got her drivers license...i am having issues accepting the fact that she is old enough to be driving and the fact that she graduates this year...i remember her first day of school...even the outfit she wore...pastel checked dress with little ducks and chickens on it...okay on with the story tuesday night she wanted to go over to a friend's house...it is like 10 miles...so stephen told her to go straight there and straight back...to call when she got there and when she left...she did...we were so proud...until...the next morning stephen was taking me to work and when we got in the truck...the tank was empty...yes i said empty...he says, "i am going to kill Jamie...she has run all the gas out and did not bother to tell anybody." i come to her defense and say, well she probably did not have any money...so we go on about our day....that afternoon he came to get me from work and had a smug look on his face...he proceeds to tell me the latest conversation he has had with jamie...jamie has called and wanted to know if she could go to her friend's house...stephen said, "no, not after what you pulled last night." jamie was speechless....stephen had tripped the odometer the night before...when we got in the truck he saw that she had been 56 miles....she was busted....i am sure this is the first of many stories....i just cracked up...for once i am not the bad guy...she stayed at home .....

My Thanksgiving...

on this thanksgiving, i am lying in bed with kidney stones and also on administrative call for work...my family is spread out right now doing thanksgiving things...now please do not feel sorry for me, my family would have been more than happy to nurse me while we were out at family dinners, but i chose to stay at home and now am really glad i did...i have been reflecting over this past year, and wanted to share some of my thoughts... at this time of year.we look at our successes, failures, losses and so much more. i try to be thankful at all times and give thanks every day..not just once a year. now i am not saying that others are not thankful...i am just saying that i need to be more mindful of what i have and remember to give thanks daily...at one time in my life, i was running like my head was on fire...many people think i still do...the difference is that i have figured out what is of concern to me and what i can influence...i have become more proactive and less reactive...there are some things in our life that we just simply cannot do anything about...we can be concerned about those situations but we must not let them consume us....we need to focus on those areas that we can do something about - our circle of influence....some of you may be reading this and thinking, "ok what happened to ginny...who took her"...i have spent the greater majority of my life focusing on my circle of concern...trying to fix everything...trying to make everyone get along...trying to have the perfect home, with a perfect family, you know the whole 2.5 kids, middle income family...that is just not the way it is...i also spent alot of time worrying about what others thought about me...what were they saying about my religious views, what they thought of how i was raising my children, and here is the big one...the kind of house i live in...i live in a manufactured home - a double wide - ok i said it...for so long i let that define my home....a home is a not a structure...a home is a feeling...after i quit worrying about people thinking less of me because i lived in a manufactured home i became happier and more at peace...it may come as a surprise to many of you but it does bother me what others think of me...i know i come across as this hard nose, purpose driven, goal driven person...i do have a heart...all of my tears, fears, heartaches, sleepless nights, all came to a wonderful resolution a few weeks ago...jamie was not feeling well and she was laying beside me in the bed...she said, "you know momma, when jenifer tries to cuddle up to me it feels so weird, but when i cuddle up with you it is just natural...i love you." that is the moment that i realized that i have so much to be thankful for...i realized that what i do everyday does matter...i realized that i was loved...and i also realized that had so much more to do for my family. there is no greater task given to a woman than to be a mother and a wife...i cannot explain the love i have for my family...but it is great...i just hope that as i begin a new year, i can be more thankful each day...i hope that my circle of influence becomes greater and my circle of concern gets smaller....i am so thankful that my God does not expect perfection, He accepts my failures, He picks me up when i have fallen, He forgives me...i have a great family...oh we have our moments but we love each other dearly....i am so thankful for my children...they are good kids that keep me laughing...i ache for those parents who have lost their children, i cannot imagine...i have a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally - and that is a big job, i have a great job, i have parents that love me and are always there for me, i have a sister that i could not live without, i have the most awesome friends in the world, i so do not deserve any of this...do you remember that song we used to sing in Bible class,"he's still working on me...to make me what i ought to be"...well He is still working on me and it is a blessing that failure is never final unless it is the last time you try" love to all

stories from 104....

* a few saturdays ago i had to work...jacob wakes me up and says, "momma since you have to work today you need to have breakfast made for you.." so when i get my shower and go in the kitchen, there is a plate, silverware and a juice glass on the table...he then tells his dad, "you are on egg duty" dad tells him the eggs are expired so jacob replies, "well then we will just make her gourmet toast." so when the toast is done...he sits down beside me and puts the butter and jelly on my toast...how sweet is that...

*jamie cleaned up the kitchen a couple of nights ago...so the next morning i get up to get my coffee mug...i open the top rack of the dishwasher and there is something dangling yes i said dangling......i look and it is 3 teabags dangling from the top rack...she had put the tea boiler in the top rack and did not even look to see if there was anything in it...please remember this is the same child who told me she could not scramble the hamburger meat because the meat skillet was dirty...you know we couldn't have washed it or used another skillet...

*jacob gets in the car with my sister the other day after school (she picks them up everyday)...he gets in and he is quiet...yes this is very unusual for him...she asks him what is wrong an dhe announces, "lib i have had a bad day and i am just pissed off." no i do not condone cussing but this just came out of the blue....

this is not a funny story...yet...but jamie has been going out with her friends...i have been allowing her to ride with friends...therefore, i do not get any sleep until she is home...i know that i am the old fart in this group and most of you have little kids...i am telling you it is not fun...love them as babies...they grow up was too fast....

hopefully i will have more later....

heavens to betsie and every other momma in the world...

mommas unite...is our work ever done? i promise i don't think it is...i get so discouraged when i go over to some of my daughter's friends houses and their house is "show perfect"...it drives me insane...we work in our house everyday but i swear that if an emergency happened and people showed up at my house unexpectedly...i would die and we would have another emergency....how do these women do it...i have washed no less than 7 loads of clothes...folded and put them up....and there is 70 more to do....i ask my daughter to sweep our kitchen and she sweeps half of it...WHAT...i pointed the other part to her and she looked at me like i was crazy...she did go and sweep it up...oh did i mention the medicine bottle she knocked around the floor and still did not pick it up...she usually does a real good job cleaning up...i guess tonight she was just off her game...oh and my son.... if i could figure out a way to burn his room without burning the rest of the house down i would...i am not kidding...it seriously needs Clean House's help...with Niece Nash...she would say it was nothing but foolishness...would it be wrong of me to send him off with his grandfather and go in his room and throw everything away...only leave his bed and dresser...i am SICK of it...those of you who knew me as a child...DO NOT say anything about my room...it was spotless compared to his...i would take a picture of it and put it up here but i am afraid that someone would call DHR and i am so embarrassed to admit something like this is in my house...i am convinced there are things growing in the carpet in his room... seriously...if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE help a sister out....i am about to scream...oh and as my friend beck says, "males should have never been allowed to come inside"...i'm just saying....

thankful thursdays....

i have so much to be thankful for...too much to list but here are some....
* dear friends that are more like family than friends - i will miss you aunt marsha
* beautiful weather that allowed my aunt marsha enter the pearly gates of heaven
*my dad is almost home - safely
*my job and my coworkers
*my kids - boy do i love those critters
* my friends that understand my eccentricness - is that a word
*every day
*my residents that i work with everyday - they are so sweet
*that i don't have to be sinless and perfect...and the Lord still loves me
*alabama football - sorry it is the fall
*my pets
hope everyone has a great friday

Gin and Beck's Wild God Chase

Dear Santa, I want a GPS because my OCD friend who printed out 8 maps to get to Memphis did not print one to get out of Memphis...We could have gotten to Memphis from Denver. The drive in was great...followed the directions...found hotel that should have been rented by the hour (i will exlpain that later.) found olive garden and found the forum...enjoyed some praise and Jesus and God and Beth and Travis and the list goes no...so it is time to turn in for the evening so that we can be fresh children of the Mighty King...this is where the story derails....see we had maps in every direction going to memphis but noone leading out...so we had to turn afore mentioned maps upside down to try to get out...so we do...EVERY ROAD WE TURNED ON WAS CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went in the same five block circles a bout five times. Don't ask me why we did not stop and ask directions form all the police officers...that would be they were too busy doing something else cause their cars were empty....yes i said empty. So my wonderful friend beck , says, oh there is a group of officers...i roll up to the red light...let me tell yall...they were officers all right just not police officers...they were in one of the groups where you got to kill someone to get in.....look i am into saving lives not ending them....at this point i look at becky and i say "I don't care where the next ramp to the intersection is we are getting on it....it will lead to somewhere." sure enough we find an on ramp get up on the freeway and are welcomed by, "Welcome to Arkansas." At this point i realize becky is terrified of bridges. She has toenails, all 10 of them dug into my carmats....if we had had a wreck she would have broken every stinkin toe...we get across the river and back...we decide that we are going to stop at taco bell....it is open all night....hungry people who know the city will be there....listen they had some fun with us...they knew we were lost...they knew we were from out of town...gave us our drink free and some directions...wrote them down directly...we ended up in corinth, mississippi a good 50 miles from where we were headed....we were so exhasued by the time we got back to our room...we did not know that beth's title of her lessons were going to be, "on a wild God chase" but sister we chased a goose a long time before we got to GOD!!! Praise the Lord. So we checked out the very morning, I overheard a lady say, "We should have these rooms by the hour...we were only here 4! I do it again for GOD!

t-minus not soon enough...

dear readers...i am so pumped...do you hear me...PUMPED....it is less than 72 hours before i hit the road and have a road trip with my college roommate - becky - we are both so excited...i know alot of times people lose touch with their roommates...well let me tell you me and becky are closer than ever...we have been through marriages, births, deaths, family issues and soooo much more together and i can't wait to see what God has up his sleeve for this Beth Moore conference...to get prepared and for other reasons, becky, suggested, no she TOLD me to go buy the book, "Get Out of That Pit"...i am so glad i did...this woman speaks from her heart....she has not had a rosy life herself...we are alot alike...anyway...besides that we will not have any kids...do not misunderstand me...there are no two women on this earth who love their younguns like me and beck...but she has 3 under 6 and i have a pre teen and a teenager...HELLO.....i am so excited i am having trouble sleeping - do you notice that it is midnight....oh well....

i told my co workers that i was going to get some santification...heaven knows i need it....the past few days i have been thinking how i would look in stripes cause i thought i was going to jail a few times....just for your information...i don't look good in stripes....i am round already and i do not need any help looking like a macy's day balloon floating down broadway....

have a great hump day!!!!

thankful thursday night turned into freaky friday but ended as a super saturday.....

ever had one of those days when you should have just stayed in bed...when i got home from work yesterday i had been up since 7 on thursday morning...this begins the finish of thankful thursday i have horrible insomnia and i take medication...but sometimes that just does not work...when i laid down thursday night i told my husband, "it is going to be a long night"...anyway...freaky friday morning's alarm clock went off...it did not bother me...i was already awake...anyway, the day started off good...found out i did not have to work on saturday...oh yeah i was convinced i was the manager on duty for saturday... i did not argue...had lunch with my mom and sis...went back to work....looking like i was going to get to leave early...nope that is when the nursing home became the nut house....remember there was a previous post entitled, "nursing homes are not nut houses" - wish i knew how to do that cute little strike through think becky and hillary do...anyway in a matter of 1.5 hours the following happened...lady went out of the building who should not have...she was only on the porch but she just about whooped my tail trying to get her back in the building...another resident knocked the crap out of another one...and an unplanned discharge of a resident...now some of this may not make much sense to some of you but there are a few who truly understand the craziness of this...i did not leave the building until 6:30 pm...by the time i got home i had been up 35 hours...those of you who have lived with me or worked with me know this is NOT good...i absolutely crashed when i got home...super saturday started with me being awakened by alabama's fight song cause the game was about to begin...the only thing that would have been more beautiful to hear would be rammer jammer...i went into the kitchen to get that sacred first cup of coffee to find....my kitchen was CLEAN....my hubs had cleaned it up...so that explains the title...

thankful thursday

*fall weather
*getting out blankets for the fall and wrapping up with one quilt that my grandmother made*
modern medicine - i have sick children
*patience that i am developing - in other words not going into "reactive mode"
*that my dad is home from his summer job safely
*being able to give back to those who have given me so much
*the mini vacation i have coming up with beck
*some much needed "Jesus" time that I am going to get at the Beth Moore conference
*being able to go buy groceries and concentrate
*my co workers saying, "gin, it is october 1...where is the chocolate"...the little things they remember

In all things give thanks.....

thankful thursday

i have been busier than a one armed paper hanger - ok that may not be a social worky kind of thing to say...but good grief...school, boy scouts, church, family, work and a thousand other things....

here is my thankful thursday...
- i love our church - been a long road
- my kids do not have the flu - bronchitis and mono
- my hubby - he puts up with my craziness
- my family - all of them - the nuts included
- my job - i have a great job and great boss...she has been so patient these past few weeks
- fall weather
- good books
- quiet time that i am going to get this weekend with the family
- that i still have both of my parents - so many of my friends have lost their parents recently
- my sister - i love her dearly
- SEC football - BAMA the most
- that a dear friend of mine was not seriously injured in a wreck last weekend
- for all of my friends
- for my children - they keep me rolling


now for a jacobism -
- he told someone at work that i was so mean i would make madea run

hope everyone has a great weekend...

be careful....

When I was a child I had a sunday school teacher who always said that we must be careful for what we pray for and we must be specific...well I am thinking this is nuts because number one God already knows what we are praying for and number two He knows how much of it we need...well of course this is in the mind of 12 year old girl who is more interested in the cute curly blonde guy sitting in the corner chewing on his pencil...

Well for those of you who know me, those of you who have lost track of me, or for those of you who are getting to know me, you should know now thatGod and I have a very strange relationship...I love Him more than anything in this world...but sometimes I get in his way and I can't do what he has planned for me.....I mess things up REAL good...then I get discouraged and at the end of the day I am like, "OK Lord, I have learned my lesson...I know my tongue is going to get my head cut off...I am not going to say anything out of the way to anybody while I am driving home." This seems to work well for a while until I get to the I20 truck stop and Snowman and Smokey the Bandit decide they have to get to Texarkana before midnight...they pull out in front of me and the words fly....

I don't want to place the blame on genetics, even though my grandmother and father can cuss for 30 minutes and never say the same word twice...

Well last week was a rough week...no matter how you cut it...it just was not a good week...so this morning I wake up with a new attitude. This is going to be a good week...I am feeling better...things are looking up. The day starts off pretty quiet and then around lunch it picks up like the last lap at Talladega. I am in a hurry to get a chart to check some labs. I pull the chart out of the rack, which is the right to put it, and the complete guts of the chart fall all over the floor. Mind you the fan is blowing too...so this is a good mess.. I open my mouth to let some well thought out obscenities fly and there stands the chaplain. He looked at me...I looked at him...I bit my tongue. I don't know that he knew what was going through my head - I really hope he did not. I just sat down in the floor and started putting this chart back together.

So this is what Marlyn meant when she said we must be careful what we pray for and be specific...yes I want temperance and patience but not necessarily today! Thank you God for showing me your might and power right in front of everybody today!

life is but a vapor....

the Bible teaches us that life is but a vapor...so many times we especially myself take that for granted....i think oh i am just 34 years old i have plenty of time left on this earth...or there will always be tomorrow...over the past couple of weeks it has been layed on my heart that we are not promised tomorrow and that things can change in a blink of an eye...two weeks ago i buried a sweet friend of mine who was like a niece to me...yes she had fought cancer for 14 years but she was only 19 years old...in a moment her life and her family's life changed forever...this young lady did not like to be told that she was an "inspiration"...she would say "what choice did i have?" but she was an encouragment...she was a light to this dark world...she was always concerned for others....i also buried a dear friend of mine that i went to high school with...his death was very unexpected...he left a family behind and so many friends....he was ever the practical joker and could always make you smile....this past friday night our head football coach who was one of my teachers when i was in school died suddenly of a massive heart attack...he got to feeling bad during the game...ambulance took him to the hospital but before he got there he died...i used to go to church with coach...he would practice the boys until 6 on wednesday night bring them to church in his truck...stinking to the high heavens...he did not smell that good either...they would eat dinner at church and then go to class...he was a Christian first and a coach second...he lived the talk everyday....he was only 48 years old...the older i get the younger that seems...he was the only dad some of these kids have ever had...it is just really sad that such positive people's lives are cut short...and yesterday we buried a fine Christian man who helped build the church where i grew up...quiet but strong...he left a grandson who loved him so much...he is beside himself and sad...but we know that they are in heaven with the other angelsmy hope is that i can remember that we are not promised tomorrow...

life is good....

i am so blessed...i am so excited...i have had a pretty rough week with just various work related junk...but i have a job...anyway...had i known that things were going to work out the way have this week i could be sitting in atlanta, ga, with some girlfriends at the women of faith conference...but you see God knows so much more than i do...one of my favorite sisters...becky...called me and said, do you remember talking about going to see beth moore in memphis, tn, in october...i said yes...she says would you still like to go...i said yes...i don't know what changed and i am not asking any questions, but me and my "siesta" are booked to go see her, booked at the holiday inn and are ready for a road trip....we were college roommates...we met one night and became roommates the same night...i know beck is reading this but i must tell everyone if you need someone to pray for you or just get you straight beck is the one...she has been my rock through so many things...now don't get me wrong..all of my other "siestas" are special too...in your own way...becky is special to me just as you all are....i am in need of some God time, some beck time and some rejuvination time...i think that is a word....and to top it off...

i have tickets to the university of alabama homecoming game against south carolina...life is good....

i need deoderant....

ok so we are all in the back to school swing of things....we were at walmart sunday night battling the gangs of people in pell city....yes i said gangs...i really think they would fit in nicely on some street in la...anyway...my son, aka opie, says, "mom, i need to tell you something"...that sounds innocent enough..he says, "i need some deoderant"...ok, he is 10 years old, so i was not totally caught off guard...it was the next statement that got me, "i want dad to help me"...i have been bumped..,dethroned...ok...so i suck it up and say ok...so i tell my hubby the situation...he lovingly takes opie to the "smell good" aisle...by the time we left walmart we had every flavor of axe product you can think of...as my dad would say, "he was going to smell like a siagon street walker"....ok so anyway we buy the products and go home...

i was not prepared for the next series of events...we get home and opie says, "i am ready to take my shower"...please remember this is my own personal pigpen...you know the character from peanuts...i said, "excuse me"..."yes i am ready to take my shower...tomorrow is the first day of school and i have to smell good for dana"...now dana is a little girl that he has been infatuated with for a couple of years...ok...so we get the shower and we get "axed" up... he gets out of the shower and is so excited...he wants me to smell him...oh he smelled so good...do you know how long it has been since my little boy smelled good...yes we bathe him but he has had this "male smell" for about a year...

so the first day of school went off without a hitch...he came home to tell me that he "almost caught that fish" referring to dana...after i explained to him how ladies do not like to be called names..he informed me that he needs to take a shower in the morning so that he "is fresh"...i thought i would fall in the floor...sure enough he geets up tuesday morning and takes a shower and gets all "axed up" again...he comes home to tell me, "momma, i caught that fish today"...of course i laughed but again reminded him how ladies do not like to be referred to as animals...so he is now convinced that if he smells good then dana will forever be his girl....now for the finale....

last night i asked him, "jacob, did you ask dana to go with you?" he says, "go where?" there you go folks modern day mayberry with a real live opie...

happy anniversary to us....

12 years ago today i was married to the most wonderful man left on the face of the earth...now for those of you who don't know the story here it is...we met on a blind date...the first words out of his mouth were, "i have been married once and i am not going down that road again." that was in january, we were engaged in february and married in august - all of the same year...i suddenly was a wife and a mother to a beautiful little girl named jamie...truth be known i fell in love with her before i fell in love with her dad....we have been through alot in 12 years...we have had a little boy who keeps us on our toes, we have watched our beautiful daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady, we have made so many memories together....words can never describe the joy that stephen has brought to me nor how much he has taught me...he has not knocked my teeth out for my smart mouth...he lets me do whatever i want...he supports me in every hairbrained idea i have...i hope that he loves me as much as i love him...i hope we have many many more years together...i love you stephen....

it does not get better than this....

i guess me posting on blogspot and facebook is redundent...but some of the people who answer or follow my blog are not on facebook and vice versa...with that said i feel a bit abandoned...several people who read facebook answer or comment on my notes but i feel like i have stalkers on blogspot with no commenters...ok maybe i don't have anything better to do....or think about it...so my strategy is to see how many people i can make jealous once i tell how wonderful of a day i had today....ok i know that is not a real Christian thing to do but a woman is forced to take drastic measures....so here goes...

i worked 2 hours today and got paid for a whole day...now i worked saturday as manager on duty but i had to leave early because of children but anyway...i worked 2 hours this morning and went to the doctor...now not a great visit but i did find out why my shoulder hurts...i have torn my labrum which is the tissue that anchors the tendons and ligaments in place as well as keeping your shoulder in the socket...please do not ask me how i did it because it is VERY stupid....probably going to have to have surgery but oh well that is not new for me...now on to the good stuff...

i went to have lunch with a very good looking man...i asked him not to tell his wife and he asked that i not tell my husband...mmmmm they are the same people...lol.....then i went to the galleria and did some school shopping....got my nails done...something i don't ever do...came home and my hubby...that same guy i had lunch with...cooked supper....chicken fettucini alfredo....it was delicious....it has been a good day....no it has been a great day.....

it's over till next year!!!!!

whew!!!! i have survived another state survey! it is over thank goodness....it has been a long week...they finally left the building about 9pm on thursday night...we finished with 7 tags and we are going to dispute one of them...one of the tags i totally disagree with, but i am not going to discuss that...we did not get any "F" tags...this is HUGE....the good thing is that because they stay so long and there is down time for those of us who are not on the firing line...i was able to get caught up on alot of paperwork, filing and such that has been piling up on my desk...of course then it was my turn to be on the firing line...we have a new administrator who is AWESOME...bless her heart....her first full week on the job and the state walks in the building...i have high hopes for us and i think we are a great LIVING CENTER....i feel like i have the potential to grow both personally and professionally...i am super excited...i have been down and doubtful over the past couple of months but i am refreshed now...hope everyone has a great week!!!!!

2 down 1 to go...

sorry i have been mia for a while...it has been a crazy crazy couple of weeks...i have been so busy at work sometimes i have to remind myself to go to the bathroom...ok maybe tmi but that is the truth...i am much happier now...we have a new administrator who seems to be a big team player and does not criticize everything we do...we have gone through alot of changes lately....i know this may bore some of you to tears, but maybe it will make someone kind of understand what i do...

i was asked to go work in another building two days a week...this was in march...this was one of our sister facilities that was having problems...i might add it was pretty cool that the director of operations specifically asked for me....ok i know i should not brag but it made me feel good...so i went on march 17 and about 2 hours later the state walked in at that building...so i survive that survey...then the social worker at that building quit as well as their administrator....so my administrator from pell city was asked to go to boaz - "temporarily"...

so kim and i are in boaz and trying to hire a sw with half a brain...we finally get that accomplished and guess what...state comes back...this time it is for the annual survey...can you say big kahuna...so i go through all this again...new social worker did not start until after survey - remember she has no long term care experience so i have to start at scratch to train her...it is very hard to find social workers who have long term care experience...for some reason people think the elderly are ooey gooey stinky or something.....

so then may 19th rolls around when i decided it would be fun to pass out at work...this begins my whole medical drama...so i finally go back to work on july 1 to find out that kim is not coming back to pell city....so we have this interim administrator that i am not even going to discuss...let's just say we did not gee haw...i was disappointed that kim did not come back...but things work out the way they are intended to....so we had an interim administrator for about three months....those were very trying three months...finally they hired a permanent administrator...

now if you are still reading you are a dear friend or you are just bored and have nothing better to do...

so now that you are up to speed - like you really cared - this week is her second week officially on the job; however, today was her 5th day in the building....so on tuesday morning the state walked in for our annual survey and she had been in our building for a grand total of three days...but i work for a great company and they sent in the calvary...i think survey is going well...it is just long days...i think our new administrator is the breath of fresh air we have been looking for and needing...the coolest thing about it is that she is a preceptor for the administrator in training program through the alabama nursing home association...so what does that mean...that means that she is going to help me get my administrator's license....i am so excited...

so these surveyors have left at about 6 or 630 each night...they are not staying as late as the ones in boaz did...can you say 11 pm and i had an hour drive home...anyway tomorrow is the last day barring any major catastrophies....and we will be done for another year.....yeah....thanks for reading....

to my son - i love you

it is hard for me to believe that you are 10 years old...you will be starting the 5th grade this year...you are a miracle for me...i was told i would never have children and if i did it could be harmful to me...well guess what..God gave me you...i knew from the very first weeks that you would be a boy...i knew your name would be jacob...i never picked out a girl name...when i would go to the grocery store i would tell your daddy, "me and jacob are going to the store"...or if i was going to take a bath i would say, "me and jacob are going to take a bath.."or if i was going to bed, "daddy, me and jacob are going to bed..."of course there was the time when i was pregnant with you that my back hurt really bad and i thought a hot bath would be nice...well your fat momma got stuck in the bathtub...this is not a lie...it truly happened...

when you were born, it was LONG day...your Aubie paced the hallway, my epidural would not take...they kept telling me i was having "ligament pains"..i never understood why they would not let me see you...they let me touch you for a brief moment...they whisked you away to nicu...you were not breathing and your lungs were full of fluid...i thought that i was going to lose you...i cried...i did not want anything to be wrong with you...i did not get to see you again until the next day...dad did not warn me that they had put an iv in your head...so i walk in and there is my little boy with needles in his head...needless to say i had the docs cornered like a rabid dog...the docs told us your lungs were under developed and you would always be sick...boy if they could see you now...

you are so smart, funny, witty and everything i could ever hope for in a boy...like when your teacher wanted you to read for fluency and you said, "i can read...you can read...what's the point?"...or when you told the preacher that, "me and poppa are going to drink coffee and chase women"...or walking out of the bathroom swinging your sister's underclothes from your light saber...there is never a dull moment with you in my life...i love you so much...i hope you have many more happy birthdays...

a quick trip to the beach....

we have been trying all summer to go to the beach...so we just said forget planning...let's go...so we left on friday to go to pensacola...our favorite place...we have had so much fun..stephen took jacob fishing today off of the pensacola pier...jacob caught three big fish but only landed one...it was a spanish mackrel..the other two were so big his line broke both times..the coolest thing though was we saw a sea turtle in the gulf...it was huge..it weighed at least 300 pounds...we could not get a picture because it came up quickly and then went back down pluse it was at sunset...pic may not have developed...anyway...it was cool...something we all saw...here are some pics.. my sweet angel girl

me and my hubby

sunset at pensacola...most beautiful one ever

my sweet demons i mean angels

look what i caught

not sure what we were doing but the expressions are priceless...

sand angel

my diva...

this was the most still he was the whole trip

the way i spent my first day off....

this should be of great enjoyment to anyone who reads this...i woke up this morning to no water...now before i go any further...you must understand that we have more utility problems than the common citizen...we have a power company whose CEO is Mickey Mouse (we have lost power 6 times this summer - all were transformers that had been hit by lightening) ...we have a phone company that is run by The Wiggles (if anything wiggles in the atmosphere the phone and internet go out) and our local water department is run by Barney Fife...(if you should have a water problem good luck getting anyone out here to look out...and if they come out then they pull up in the yard honk the horn and holler "what's the problem?" to which i have responded numerous times, "that is what i called you for!" ok so on to the story...so i call the water department...this is the conversation...lincoln water department...yes has anyone reported a water problem off of ridge drive...no...well we have no water...no one has called and if it was our problem we would have received more calls...well i still don't have water...have you checked your pressure regulator...no what is that...a mechanism on your turn on / off valve...no...well you need to go check it before you call us...so you are not going to send anyone out to check it...i did not say we were not going to send anyone out but you still need to check your pressure regulator...

ok so by this time i am furious...i go outside to see if i can find the on/off valve to check this infamous pressure regulator...like i really know what i am looking for...only to discover my yard is full of water and continues to pour out from under the house like niagra falls...ok so at this point it is not the pressure regulator nor is it the water department's problem...so i have to call them back to tell them not to send anyone out...yes this was embarrassing but let the fact remain they were ugly....so i tell them it appears to be a broken pipe...hang up the phone...go out to again find this valve...find it and cut if off...

so i call the plumber we have used before...no return call...called another guy that i went to high school with...no return phone call and then i hear someone honking in the yard...i go to the door to find the local water department...they roll their window down and say "what's the problem?" I tell them that i called and told them not to send anyone out...well the other genius in the truck says, "There is your problem water is coming out from under your house." i wanted to say, "really sherlock" honestly, there were other thoughts that were going through my mind...

so they leave and i call a third plumbing company...they will get all of my future business...why because they called me back and had someone out here within 2 hours...you would think as tight as money is right now people would do a better job at customer service...so these two guys come out who looked like i needed to make them sit down and do their homework and fix them some cookies and kool aid....come out in the rain...they come in to tell me that a pipe had come loose under the house and the reason it did was because it looked like it had been repaired before but whoever repaired it only glued one side...that person would be the plumber we had used before...note to self...don't use him again...anyway they got it fixed and i have water....

i don't do domestic problems well...if you really want to see me mad let a "machine" break...such as no air conditioning...car problems..dishwasher...now let's add water...i deal with personal emotional problems not machines...

so hopefully the rest of my time off will be spent relaxing while we are at the beach...we leave in the morning...i am so excited...just to get away....

secrets revealed....

many of my dear loyal readers have been asking about my new "food plan"...so here it is...i was told in may that if i did not lose 100 pounds i would be dead in five years from cirrhosis...this is due to the fact that my liver is "excessively fat due to diabetes." the doctors suggested to have a "forced weight loss" by having lap band surgery...for those of you who know me you know that i do not do well with pain meds or anesthesia...i like to quit breathing...well the other night i was at books a million looking at the clearance rack...i have a love affair with clearance...anyway i found "dr. phil's ultimate weight loss solutions" book and food guide for $3.97!!!!! i was so pumped...i love dr phil cause he just puts it out there...thing is people are accepting of him when he does it but when i put it out there it does not go over so well...oh well!!! anyway so i begin reading the self help book...it is so good and sensible...he has very good points...he has it broken down into seven keys...he is adament that you do not skip forward...he equates going through this program like a college course...follow the syllabus...anyway...my favorite thing so far is that he said if "you eat something that slides down your throat it will slide on to your butt"...his piont is that you need to eat foods that you actually have to chew and work for...raw veggies for example...then there is the food guide that has the menus made out for you...now if you are like me...if you are told what to eat and how much you will do it...i fail when i have to come up with things to cook...i will post some of the menus over the weekend...so then he talks about water, water, water, ....i drink one cup of coffee in the morning and the rest of the day is water...he does say it is okay to put some of the sugar free kool aid packs in the water....on in the self help book he actually has behavioral audits...this shows you what triggers you to eat...like for me...it is at night because i am bored...i work all day and don't slow down to eat but because i am so tired when i get home i don't feel like doing anything else...

with all of this said, i have lost 25 pounds since june 1 and am walking 1 - 2 miles a day...i am very focused...the other key is that i have put my family pretty much on their own...they are not on board with me with this plan so they can find something to eat on their own...i should say my daughter wants to do it with me but she has been out of town...

when i hit 30 pounds i am going to put before and after pics on here...if you have any more questions, please let me know...this is the best plan i have ever done....

why is it...

let me forwarn you that this may turn out to be a rant about a couple of things...i have wanted for a long time to say the things that i am about to say...i may hurt a few people's feelings and i may just tick some people off...but i have to say this...why is it that every religion thinks their religion is the best...work with me here...for years the church of christ has been stereotyped of "you are the ones who don't have music"..yes we do we sing every time the doors are open...or "you think you are the only ones going to heaven" well unfortunately there are few of them who do truly believe that...all i have to say to that is glad you are making God's decisions...or "yall believe that you got to go all the way under the water to be saved"...well Jesus did so why don't you...He was immersed you know...that came straight from the good book...or "yall are the ones who take the Lord's Supper every Sunday"...why yes we do...anywho...on we shall go with the churches i have run into who have resorted to calling other common denominations "occults", or those who will not let you partake of the Lord's Supper, if it should be on that one particular sunday of the quarter, unless you are a member of that church, or to those churches that have a committee for forming committees...or those churches who have human leaders that they equate to the good Lord Almighty...or those who feel it is ok to drink like a fish during the week and don't mind buying their case of beer at walmart on saturday so they can drink it after the sermon on sunday...here is the bottom line...I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT GOD...IF IT IS WRITTEN HE HAS TOLD YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW...IF WE SPENT HALF THE TIME WE SPEND ON FINDING FAULTS WITH OTHERS ON STUDYING THE WORD OF GOD...I WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION....AND THIS GOES FOR ME TOO!

here is the scoop...

first of all i want to thank everyone for all the prayers that were sent up for me during this long illness...i truly felt the prayers everyday...my favorite part is that my dear friend miranda sent out emails to our high school classmates asking for prayer and to give them an update on my condition...it was very hard for me to ask people for help....i don't like to ask for anything....you do not realize how much you can't do for yourself until you are faced with it...so here is the scoop...after three hospitalizations since may 19, deciding to quit breathing and having my pj's cut off of me in front of my mother, and being told i had a broken rib, i underwent an ercp which revealed the problem...my pancreatic duct was 1/4 the size it should have been so the doc put a stint in place and my duodenum was 95% blocked...both of these were full of gallstones...the doc said that when he drained both of these it looked like what comes out of a car after you change the oil...YUCK..he said that no food could go down or come up hence the reason i was in so much pain...basically the food had been sitting there for over a month...doc said, "it was gross"...i am doing better...have gone back to work...am learning to take care of me rather than pleasing everyone else...for example, this was my first week back at work and on friday morning i woke up sick, we will not go into the details, i did not go to work...no second thoughts, no going in late, no feeling guilty, i did not go to work...i rested all day...still not feeling great...but i am alive....we are now looking at lap band surgery...i was told my dear doctor who i trust with my life...told me that i would be dead within five years of cirrhosis if i did not have lap band surgery to reverse the fatty liver...so here is the deal...i did not have fatty liver in september...but we have linked the fatty liver to the new insulin that i started in september...it is a LONG story....but anyway, i will have a liver biopsy when i have the lapband surgery....but most importantly...THANK YOU for all the prayers, cards, visits, food and everything else....love to you all.....

who is betty crocker.....

i have recently ordered this easy bake bundt cake pan...it is totally AWESOME...it is made of some sort of plastic and it cooks in the oven on the rack up to 450 degrees...so here is the process and the end result...granted i know the cake is not beautifully iced...but hey those of you who know me know that this is a major accomplishment.....

i am not as dumb as i look....

many of you know that my one thing in life that frustrates me more than anything else is my HOUSE!!! Lord knows i try to work, raise kids, raise my husband, go to church and be the superwoman that i want to be...but my house is usually the last on the list - i let it slide because i tell myself that nobody ever comes to my house because i live so far out in the woods....anyway, my daughter finished her junior year and she has never had to work any type of job or anything...momma and daddy have always given her what she wanted...well i told her she could either get a job at a fast food resturant or be my maid...to my surprise she chose to be my maid...now i am blessed in the fact that jamie is very good at cleaning...she is quick and thorough...so instead of worrying myself to death over the house...she is my maid and she gets paid...now we are not talking about washing the dishes...we are talking deep cleaning...this first week has been awesome...i will post pictures as soon as i can...with me being sick over the past couple of weeks, this has allowed me to heal much quicker...hope everyone has a great weekend....

boys were born on mars.....

ok gang, if i could have burned my son's room down without burning the rest of the house i would have...it was so bad that i am utterly ashamed to even have a before and after picture...what got me inspired was a blog that i found, i think on becky's blog, about a tour of children's rooms and nurseries...so we jumped into cleaning up his room for the millionth time....actually my great and wonderful husband headed up this adventure...anyway, when it was done jacob came to me and said, "i am never messing my room up again...daddy has broke me"...ok that was funny...but that is not the best part....my children have chores for the summer...one of jacob's chores this summer is to make his bed everyday...now i am not a stickler for stuff but i am trying to show jacob that it is alot of hard work to keep a space clean...so anyway, i went into his room and helped him make up his bed so that he would know what i expected when i came home from work everyday...so the bed is made...it is so pretty and he wants to put his spiderman blanket at the end of this bed...ok...innocent enough huh...well i get up this morning to check on him..and what did i find????? jacob is asleep under spiderman and on top of his made bed from last night....i am telling you that the male species is weird...but we love them anyway.....

where do we go from here?

this is a question i have been asking myself for several days ...especially while laying in icu...i have alot of decisions to make on many levels in the next few weeks...i ask that you all pray for me to make the right decisions for my physical health and more importantly my spiritual health...i am so happy to be back in the land of the living...however i have a ways to go...here is the reader's digest condensed version of what has been going on over the past two weeks...on may 20th, i passed out at work...had not been feeling great but hey you got to keep working right...bp was sky high and pulse was in the 150 range...well they send me to the hospital via ambulance...yeah.....and i stayed in the er for four hours to be told that i had an asthma attack...the kicker is that i don't have asthma...did i mention that they stuck me 8 times to get an iv, two failed arterial sticks for abg's and then a femoral artery stick...omg...it hurt...anyway they sent me home...wednesday i went back to my regular doctor who decided to put me in the hospital and see what was going on cause now i had blood in my urine and lots of other stuff...so we go to the hospital, get a picc line, some iv antibiotics and pain meds...cause you see my back is killing me but i am also having upper left quadrant pain...i did ok for wed and thurs night but friday night was a different story...evidently...my respiratory system gave in to the pain meds i was on and i quit breathing...all i know is that i woke up in icu with everyone standing over me screaming at me...i was on oxygen for several days...puked my guts out for about six hours...it was horrible...while in icu we did several more tests including three ct scans...these revealed that i have severe fatty liver disease...what does this mean you may ask...well your liver processes everything in your body...well i am diabetic so my body does not use the insulin that i produce...what littile it is...so i inject myself with insulin...my body uses what it can and the rest of it is stored in my liver and turns to fat...therefore, it is a relentless cycle that my body goes through when trying to lose weight, manage diabetes and everything else...so prolonged fatty liver disease will cause cirrhosis...i thought that was only for drunks...anyway...so my doc...who is absolutely wonderful might i add...told me that if we did not get a handle on this now...i would be dead in five years of cirrhosis...hello...did you wake up cause i sure did...so his solution is for me to have a liver biopsy to make sure there is nothing else going on and then have lap band surgery...he states that if lose 100 or so pounds then the fatty liver can be reversed...for many reasons...one the forced weight loss will require me to use less insulin and the weight loss in and of it self will help...i am not one to be easily defeated but i have tried numerous times to lose weight and it only gets worse because various factors...so that is the long and short of where i have been...please keep me and my family in your prayers as we go through this journey together...also pray that i will be able to keep my job...we all know that jobs are few and far between right now....

where oh where have i been?

let's see...it seems like i have been around the world in not 80 days but maybe 14...it has been a whirlwind...i am still working in boaz two days a week...in pell city three days a week...oh i'm sorry make that the other 5 days of the week - yes that includes weekends...i am tired and oh so weary...ok enough of that...

it has been busy...stephen has had viral pink eye...my aunt had brain surgery again...kids have been sick with everyday crud....jamie went to a friend's house and had a run in with a scooter and an incline...guess who won...i am tired or rain and thunder...oh and did i mention that some days we have power and some days we don't...

but the best part of the past two weeks? i should put this on a blog of its own, but my team at golden living raised over $800 for relay for life...it was GREAT...and i got to have dinner with some of my closest friends from high school last night at top of the river...some of them i had not seen in 15 years...it was great...

i guess i should quit fussing and whining because i am alive, my child is cancer free and i have a job....

blogging is therapeutic...

the abc's of me

In case you did not know....

A - Age: 33

B - Bed Size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: all

D - Dog's name: which one - jake, charlie, dude, sparkles, harley and roxie

E - Essential start your day item: coffee

F - Favorite color(s):purple

G - Gold or Silver: gold

H - Height: 5'8"

I - Instruments you play: trumpet, clarinet, french horn, melaphone and some piano

J - Job title: Director of Social Services

K - Kids- two - great - aka earthquake and tsunami

L - Living arrangements- house full - hubs, two kids and 4 cats

M - Mom's name: Audrey

N - Nicknames: Gin

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: too many to count

P - Pet Peeve: people

Q - Quote from a movie: If you lose one more brain cell you will be a walking talking monkey" Summer School

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: one sister

T - Time you wake up: 5:30 am

U - Underwear: Omar the tent maker

V - Vegetable you dislike: hominy

W - Workout style: have you seen me lately

X - X-rays you've had: again too many to count

Y - Yesterday's best moment: eating supper with my granny

Z - Zoo favorite: all but the snakes

Cinderella...aka Jamie

i don't think there are any words that i can use to describe how proud i was last night when my baby walked out of her room to leave for her junior prom....i know that many of you have small children and they are a handful...but what i would give for jamie to be little again...they will be grown up before you know it...hope you enjoy the pics...

the joke is on me....

ok...so you would think that after being married for almost 12 years i would know not to believe anything that comes out of my husband's mouth...he is the biggest practical joker ever...well today is no different...

he sent me an email telling me that jamie had been in a fight at school with another girl..she was in on campus suspension for 4 days...she could not go to the prom friday night...she was acting like a thug...and we have spent all this money on this prom for nothing....this is just in a nutshell...so i try to call him and can't get him so i call the school to see what is going on...now remember i am working in boaz today...i have two old people in a physical altercation and a suicidal person at the pell city building and i have been interviewing potential social workers...my mind is spinning...ok back to the school...the secretary tells me she does not know anything about this but she would have the principal call me as soon as he came back in....so i call stephen again and ask him what is going on and that i need some details...he casually replies, "the only detail you need to know is it is april fools day." i could have come through the telephone. so i had to call the school back and tell the secretary that the joke was on me...she just rolled...i was about to throw up...

now please understand that my daughter is very passive and does not stick up for herself...i have been trying to teach her to be more assertive and not take crap off of anyone...so i was getting ready to have to eat my words...but oh well...she is going to the prom, my hubs is still alive..for now...and tomorrow is a new day....

Let's play catch up....

yes i am still alive but have been busier than a one armed paper hanger...if you know what i mean...life has been super busy...regular stuff plus unexpected stuff such as working out of town for two days last week, having to give up caffeine cold turkey - that will be discussed in a moment - having a cardiac pet scan that i thought was going to kill me...oh my goodness...fuel pump went out on the "new car" and multiple other things...but oh well...i never said my life was peaceful...

now for the caffeine story---

i was asked to go work at the boaz building on wednesday and thursday of last week...no problem...i could go and see my granny while i was up that way...i get about 10 miles from the building and get a phone call that informs me that state has just walked in their building...now mind you that their social worker has QUIT...i have never been in this building before and know not a soul...ok so me and Lord have a prayer session and onward i go...so wednesday goes pretty good...i got done at a decent time and went by my granny's and had supper with her and my aunt and uncle... but thursday was a different story...

due to the fact that i had to have the afore mentioned cardiac pet scan..i could not have ANY caffeine for 24 hours prior to the test...yes you heard it 24 hours prior to the test...so to start with i have to deal with the state with no caffeine...i drive home a nervous wreck and then have to prepare for the vampires to dig for a vein on friday morning for the test...

friday morning comes and i am seriously considering ditching the test because i really needed some caffeine..but no being the good girl that i am i toughed it out and went for the test...praise the Lord the vampire got the vein on the first try...we start the test and everything is fine until they give me the medicine to "stress" my heart...oh my heavens...can i tell you how bad that hurts...i seriously thought i was gone to see the Lord...i made it through the test and was headed straight for Starbucks...well i had a change of plans...i decided to go to mcdonalds and get a burrito and a cup of coffee...and the nice little girl at the speaker asks if i would like cream and sweetner in my coffee...i said sure...that goodness she could not see that i was white knuckling the steering wheel and shaking like a dead leaf...i was seriously in withdrawals...

i get to the window, get my food, coffee and diet coke...open the coffee thingy to let it cool off and proceed to eat my breakfast and drink my diet coke...i am finished at this point and am looking forward to my first drink of coffee in over 24 hours...i take one big drink and it is BLACK as sut...it was awful...i am so mad...i am shaking like someone in dt's from crack...i am furious...i am shaking uncontrollably....yall i get off at the next exit and went to the mcdonalds...walk in with my coffee in hand - shaking - i am trying to calmly explain that i need some creamer and sweetner...the poor little spanish girls behind the counter were speaking a language i could not understand...i know they were talking about the crazed white fat chick with a cup of coffee...but all i wanted out of them was creamer and equal...they were very nice to give it to me...no one got hurt...i guess i am not really a caffeine whore but maybe a caffeine tease...if i was a whore i would have drank it black....once i got the coffee fixed and took that first drink - again...life was good...everything was beautiful again...don't mess with a woman and her coffee...

what my children think of me....

Following is a list of questions that I asked both of my kids and these are their answers...the first answer is from my 17 year old and the second one is from my 9 year old...i asked them seperately....

( just type what the kids said...)

Jamie 17 years old
Jacob 9 years old

1. What is something mom always says to you?
i love you
i love you

2. What makes mom happy?
shopping and peace
hugs and kisses and loving

3. What makes mom sad?
people hurting my feelings
when i come home with discipline referrals - this is what he actually said

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
by making crazy faces
the medicine face - i do not like liquid medicine - AT ALL

5. What was your mom like as a child?
sassy
cuddly

6. How old is your mom?
33
i don't know

7. How tall is your mom?
taller than me
4 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Intervention and Clean House
Clean House

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
talks on the phone
i don't know because i am not around - that is a dumb question

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
being a talk show host
for talking

11. What is your mom really good at?
her job, cooking and talking
talking

12. What is your mom not very good at?
being quiet
getting to the car on time

13. What does your mom do for her job?
social work
social worker

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
okra
beans

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
When she doesn't go totally off on people who make her mad at work
EVERYTHING - that you are my momma

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Minnie Mouse
Tom from Tom and Jerry

17. What do you and your mom do together?
chill
watch tv

18. How are you and your mom the same?
when we don't feel good nobody feels good
i always know what you are going to say

19. How are you and your mom different?
totally different personalities
i am a boy and you are a girl

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
gives me hugs and kisses all the time
because you are my momma and you would have killed me by now

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
sense of humor
i don't know and why are you asking me all these questions

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
beach
church

blue teeth

here is another story to add to the "jacob file"...kids started school late on monday because of the "snow"...i don't know what we would do if we actually had a blizzard...but anyway, i ventured to let jamie and jacob stay home - together - to get ready for school and pray they did not kill each other...jamie called me later and said that jacob did real well getting dressed except that he went to school with blue teeth....yes i said i blue teeth...well it should seem that jacob got into the pantry and got some fun dip down...proceeds to eat it and when jamie tells him he has to brush his teeth he informs her that no he does not....she again tells him he has to brush his teeth and he says not if i can run faster than you and out the back door he went to my parents' house...so my child went to school on monday as if he had smurf teeth...wish i had a pic

Let It Snow...a bad memory....

i am one of those alabamians who actually hates snow...the blizzard of 93 forever scarred me...i was a senior in high school and my sister had been in a terrible car accident in january...severely broken her arm and could basically do nothing...it was awful...my dad was out of pocket and i was trapped in the house with my mother and my sister...we were out of power and the gas ran out...the only lifeline to the outside world was the telephone and it was questionable...we ate bologna sandwiches and froze to death...hence the reason i don't like bologna sandwiches now and i refuse to be cold....now this is the reader's digest condensed version...there is much more to this story but it is not leisurely reading...anyway so to say the least...if i never saw snow again it would be too soon....

however, this morning was quite beautiful but i was glad to see it go away...enjoy the pics of the snow in the country.....

Jacob on the back porch


Jamie in the front yard

a dog's life...

does this not look like being totally rotten? dude is the bassett hound that i got for my birthday last year. the other dog is jake...these two are the laziest dogs ever...

had a great weekend...my family was over for a "reunion"...it was so great to see them...some of my cousins i had not seen in over 10 years that is pitiful...i promise it won't be that long before we get together again...i have some pics but i need to ask permission of the people in them before i post them...

busy week coming up...i am going to perdido bay for a social work conference...i hope there will be a little time to play...pics soon to come....

chinese fire drill - geriatric style

most of you have probably experienced some severe weather today...i do not like severe weather...i like nice sunny days...now the reason i do not like severe weather has nothing to do with the fact that i don't like thunder, lightening and such as that...it is that it usually happens in the middle of the day when i am work - at the nursing home...have you ever tried to pull 94 old people out in the hallway, keep them entertained as well as their family members...yall i did this not once today but twice...no i did not do this by myself but guess what happened in the middle of it...yep you guessed it...someone walks in from outside and wants to take a tour...yes while everyone and all their glory is in the hallway...we must not have looked too bad because the ladies are going to admit their mother tomorrow... oh for another day in the life of a social worker....

whatever

i am not real sure what to call this blog...i am just down in the honkin dumps...it seems that the harder one tries to do right, live life to the fullest and all that other stuff that the "professionals" tell you to do...the harder it is to even hold your head up...

nursing homes are not nut houses

this could very likely be the title of my next book! why is it that the general population believes that nursing homes are old people's prisons or nut houses? i am being serious...would someone please help me! now i realize that if you do not work in a certain environment then you are unfamiliar with the inner workings of that environment...what brings this topic up is that i have been wearing an additional hat this week - that would be admissions director...this means that i get to look at all referrals and filter through them - now there is nothing really different about this because all referrals have to come through me first anyway...but oh my goodness - i have never in my life seen so many crazy insane referrals...i received 10 referrals between monday and wednesday...here is the mix i got...homeless man found unconsious in an alley, a man three months out of federal prison, man who tested positive for cocaine and barbituates, man who is actively suicidal, man who has escaped the hospital 5 times in one stay, man who is wanting to kill his wife....need i go on...this is proof that strange things happen when the moon is full!

now i would like to enlighten others about "nursing homes"...i cannot speak for all nursing homes, but i can speak of the "living center" that i work for now...our home does not smell, we have two weenie dogs, bubba joe and sissy lynn that live there, we go out to eat, we have lots of activites that are not coloring books, we have birds that live there, our residents do community service projects, and much more...

yes we have residents who are very sick and we have some that are mentally ill but it is not a prison or a nut house...i would encourage everyone to visit a nursing home, skilled nursing facility, living center or whatever you call it and see how different it is now than the picture you might have in your mind....

foot cramps and farmer's markets...

i have had a great weekend despite foot cramps....i have been battling foot cramps and calf cramps for about a month...i never know when they are going to hit...and when they do it is like ray stephen's song that says, ''the day the squirrel went biserk in the first self rightous church"...the world stops...it hurts so bad...it really does not matter what is in front of you or if you are holding a child...you will drop whatever you are doing or in my case wake from a sound sleep...

anyway, my mom and dad asked me if i wanted to go to the farmer's market on saturday morning...i was excited for a few reasons...number one i could not believe they thought of me...second....it was a beautiful day to get out and third of all....i could get some fresh vegetables...

now if you have not ridden with my dad you have missed a treat or should i say roller coaster ride...you will buckle up the moment you get in the truck because if you don't the centrifical force will not allow you to do so after take off...it is 53.6 miles from his driveway to the farmer's market...and let me tell you when we pulled back into the "station" i.e. his yard - i was so happy....

besides the roller coaster ride...i got some great veggies..squash, okra, collard, turnip greens, fruits to include strawberries, apples, oranges, peaches....

and to top the day off my momma showed out in the kitchen...she cooked up a bunch of this stuff and it was sooooooooooooo good!

how many years will it take?

before you read this blog, please know that this blog is not meant to offend anyone or their profession...

today's thought is "how many years will it take?" now the reason this question comes up is because of my profession - social work. understand that social work began in the late 19th century - we are in the 21st century. so you see this is not a profession that was born overnight, we have had many years to perfect our practice and we also have to go to school to earn that diploma and license that is required to practice. the problem with social work is that you cannot touch or see what we do. you cannot measure what we do - unless you weigh the amount of paperwork the government requires. nurses give shots and pills, doctors "fix" things, teachers teach people, physical therapists teach people to walk again, preachers preach...get the picture.

all of this brings up the one statement that absolutely sends me over the edge. this just happened to be the week that it was the "hot statement". drum roll please..."you are not clinical." Webster's defines clinical as:

clin⋅i⋅cal   /ˈklɪnɪkəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [klin-i-kuhl] Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective 1. pertaining to a clinic.
2. concerned with or based on actual observation and treatment of disease in patients rather than experimentation or theory.
3. extremely objective and realistic; dispassionately analytic;

diseases are not just communicable diseases...there are mental health diseases, Alzheimer's disease, PTSD,

can any of the above mentioned professions that you can see and touch what they do treat any of this? are any of the above mentioned professions trained to treat this? NO NO NO. Furthermore, these issues are treated in a clinic setting, i observe people to formulate a treatment plan, i analyze information that is given to me through medical records and battery of tests that i administer to my patients; therefore, according to the definition of Webster himself, I AM CLINICAL.

now most of you may wonder why i am on such a soap box. if i have been questioned once this week about my judgement in a situation related to the psychosocial needs of my residents i have been questioned a hundred. i don't mind people asking me questions or giving suggestions, but i am sick and tired of people telling me i am not clinical. what this translates to is, no offense anyone, but "you are not a nurse or doctor." it makes one feel as though what they bring to the table is not important and is not respected. i went to school just as long as other people and longer than some to be trained at what i do. it is not something i just pulled out of my butt...i just wish people would realize that just because you can't see or touch what someone does, does not mean that it is not important and play an integral part in the term that healthcare loves so much - "interdisciplinary team." so my question is how many years will it take before social workers are respected and treated as equals? anybody got any ideas

now that is off my chest, i hope everyone has a great week!

who says you can't go home....

ok before anyone freaks out..no i am not moving back to blue river drive...it has been an extremely long weekend..i slept thursday night for the first night in a week...i was so relieved to know that my precious daughter was still CANCER FREE! i slept friday night so soundly...only to be wakened on saturday to terrible news...now understand when my executive director calls you it is usually not good...if she calls you on the weekend it is really not good...and you can bet your bottom dollar that if she calls at 8 am it is terrible...i missed the call...looked at my husband and said, " i guess state is in the building." what i would give if it had been that simple...kim called to tell me that our beloved director of maintenance, preston tollison, had suddenly died of a massive heart attack...my gut hit the floor...i had lost a friend totally unexpectedly...i was sick...why had this happened? his wife kristin is a nurse at our facility as well...this is where they met...he was only 46 years old...my mind was spinning...kim gave instruction for me to go the facility and inform all the residents and do the necessary paperwork...let me tell you in all of my years as a social worker i have never had anything like this...i have been chased out of yards by pigs, dogs, by a lady with a butcher knife...most of my stories are funny at some point...there is nothing funny about this...i had to go tell all these residents that "pete" was gone...he had worked there for over 20 years...he was a fixture...he knew where every screw, every wire, every everything was in that building...so i went to the building told the residents, did care plans for the ones that were cognitive and made notes on the other ones...then had to type a letter to family members explaining what had happened..cause you definately don't want an elderly person telling people that someone has died...you know they will send you out for stuff like that...i worked all day...brought all the letters home to fold and stuff in the envelopes...i would fold and i would cry, i would fold and i would cry...finally stephen said,"give me those you will never get them folded"...he folded and stuffed the envelopes and i put the labels on the front and taped the back...so saturday was over...then there was sunday...i went back to the building to help get the residents ready to go the funeral...all i am going to say is that it is a trip...so we go to the funeral home...there lays our "sweet pete"...that is what we called him...he looked peaceful but it was not real...i had just seen him on friday...he said to me, "bring me the meausrements on monday and i will start on your bookshelf"...he was going to build me a bookshelf for my house...i can honestly say the last words i said to "sweet pete" were thank you...

there is a song that says, "who says you can't go home"..the home i am looking for is not on blue river drive where i grew up or on ridge drive where i live now...we never know when we will be called "home"...who says you can't go home...before you are ready...i really think that pete was ready to go home...he lived his life to the fullest...i only knew him for a short period of time but he impacted my life in many ways...this weekend reminded me of what God says, "life is but a vapor" i love you all and hope that i have been as a good of a friend to all of you as all of you have been to me...let's all be ready to go home when our time comes...