My Bassakward Group

My Bassakward Group

Monday, June 07, 2010

i am getting naked....

ok...don't shut your computer down...there are no pictures....

i was talking to my sister today about some has been kind of an emotional roller coaster for me as i have to go on wednesday and clean out my office...i was not fired or any of that drama, but my health has just gotten to the point that something had to give and that was the lucky winner...but she said to me..."gin, you just need to get naked...say this is who i am, these are my faults, i am human, take it or leave it..." i thought about that the rest of the day and i think she is her is my nakedness

1. i am a big ole sinner that is saved by the grace of God- hallelujah
2. i am a wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, social worker
3. i have extensive health problem from my diabetes
4. i am very focused and driven which can be to fault
5. i am my worst enemy - i set my standards way too high
6. i have a sarcastic mouth
7. i am a control freak - when i don't know what is going on i feel like a hamster on a wheel
8. i have never been a stay at home mom - this is my first go at it - i will probably screw it up somewhere on the way
9. i am not a good housekeeper - yet
10. i have 2 beautiful children that are the light of my life
11. i have a loving husband who put me on a pedestal 13 years ago and i am not coming down
12. i am scared of alot of things
13. i am scared that i make the wrong decisions for my family
14. when i was working i was very confident in the counseling and advice i gave to my clients, but i am not so sure about it with my family
15. i am scared that i am not going to be around for my children...i HATE diabetes - it is a silent killer
16. i want to be more involved in my children's lives
17. i want the spark back in my marriage - it is not a bad marriage so don't get the wrong idea...just that feeling i would get when i would see him standing under the oak tree at hamil hall with trunk of his camaro open waiting for me to go spend a weekend somewhere
18. i want to be a better friend - i want to be the friend that says the right words when they needed to be said, i want to be the friend who is thoughtful enough to send cards to people just out of the blue to brighten their day
20. i want peace in my is kind of stir crazy right now - i have always worked and don't really know what else to do so this homemaking business is a bit new to me....

These are very private thoughts that i have had for a while, but my sis was right, I just need to get naked. I hope after reading this you still want to be my friend. I hope that you will still love me. But if you aren't and these things frighten you, I am sorry. I am human and a child of God.

Now back to regular programming.