ok so we are all in the back to school swing of things....we were at walmart sunday night battling the gangs of people in pell city....yes i said gangs...i really think they would fit in nicely on some street in la...anyway...my son, aka opie, says, "mom, i need to tell you something"...that sounds innocent enough..he says, "i need some deoderant"...ok, he is 10 years old, so i was not totally caught off guard...it was the next statement that got me, "i want dad to help me"...i have been bumped..,dethroned...ok...so i suck it up and say ok...so i tell my hubby the situation...he lovingly takes opie to the "smell good" aisle...by the time we left walmart we had every flavor of axe product you can think of...as my dad would say, "he was going to smell like a siagon street walker"....ok so anyway we buy the products and go home...
i was not prepared for the next series of events...we get home and opie says, "i am ready to take my shower"...please remember this is my own personal pigpen...you know the character from peanuts...i said, "excuse me"..."yes i am ready to take my shower...tomorrow is the first day of school and i have to smell good for dana"...now dana is a little girl that he has been infatuated with for a couple of years...ok...so we get the shower and we get "axed" up... he gets out of the shower and is so excited...he wants me to smell him...oh he smelled so good...do you know how long it has been since my little boy smelled good...yes we bathe him but he has had this "male smell" for about a year...
so the first day of school went off without a hitch...he came home to tell me that he "almost caught that fish" referring to dana...after i explained to him how ladies do not like to be called names..he informed me that he needs to take a shower in the morning so that he "is fresh"...i thought i would fall in the floor...sure enough he geets up tuesday morning and takes a shower and gets all "axed up" again...he comes home to tell me, "momma, i caught that fish today"...of course i laughed but again reminded him how ladies do not like to be referred to as animals...so he is now convinced that if he smells good then dana will forever be his girl....now for the finale....
last night i asked him, "jacob, did you ask dana to go with you?" he says, "go where?" there you go folks modern day mayberry with a real live opie...
4 comments:
this is pulitzer prize material!!! keep it up!!!
Hilarious!! I went through the "axed up" time too, about last year, but there really wasn't a girl involved. Trystan has had a "girlfriend" since pre-k. Seriously, he and Sara, who never talk on the phone and really only see eachother on Wednesday nights because she started coming to church with us, have been an item for almost 7, yes 7 years. It is too funny. She will be one of my students this year, so I'm sure it's about to get funnier.
It's the name.. We have a knack for getting men trying to make us happy. Until we marry them that is.. Just kidding.. I do like my man to smell good though! Way to go Opie!
That's awesome! Ah, let the fun begin.
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