why is it?

why is it that when you make a concerted effort to do what is right...you mess up even worse? i have never been a big fan of the holidays until i had children...i do not get excited about christmas except for the meaning behind it and watching my children open their presents...i don't really enjoy christmas shopping for my family...for my friends i love it but fam no...i guess i have this nostalgic view of what i want christmas to be like in my family...well it never has been that way and i guess it never will be...case in point...i thought that when i got older my mom, sister and myself would go shopping for my dad's presents and my dad, my sister and myself would go shopping for my mom's gifts...well i guess i don't count because my mom and my sister went and my dad and my sister went...all the while i am working...i feel like the only person on this plot of land out here who actually has any responsibility...to top it all off i found the perfect present for my mom which is not easy...only to find out that my dad had already bought it for her...i seriously think i am going to spend next christmas in the soup kitchen serving those people who truly appreciate the meaning of the season...i know i sound bah humbugish right now, but that flew all over me...let's not mention the fact that on their shopping trip today they told me they were not going to get lunch...this is after i have asked them to come eat lunch with me...you know the one who is working...well they call to tell me they are on their way home and ARE STUFFED...they had just eaten at chili's!!!!!!!!!!!! why is it that this makes me mad? i just feel like i do not fit into anyone's schedule and no one wants to do anything with me...call it a pity party if you want but i am having it!!!!!!!!!