this is not what i signed up for....

do you ever wonder how you got to the place you are in your life? well i am so in that place right now...i am the person who believes you reap what you sow...therefore, i want to know what i did that was so bad that i am having to hurt like this everyday of my life...i know i have said before that i hurt but i don't think people understand...there is not a place on my body from my shoulders down that does not hurt...we are not talking a little discomfort i mean excruciating pain...i have so many gi issues that it is rediculous...my stomach is in knots and hurting...everything i eat comes right back up, along with bile and all kinds of other junk...it is to the point that i have been referred to a pain clinic....i am scared of a pain clinic....i am afraid of pain clinics...i am afraid i will get addiceted to the meds...my back hurts so bad everyday that the pain is nauseating at times...i am getting weary...i am tired...i don't know how much of this i can take...all i want to do is go back to work...is that too much to ask? anybody got any suggestions...