my most wonderful night

i had a wonderful night...something that has not come out of my mouth in several months...today is my aunt's 60th birthday and her birthday gift to herself was to take her entire family out to dinner at a "very nice" resturant....i thought how selfless this was that she wanted to be with her entire family on her special day and then of all things to foot the bill...we are a family that gets together on Thanksgiving and Christmas....we always say we are going to do better...well Kathy did better....i am planning to send her a thank you card for her generosity and kindness...and the topping on the cake my hubby was with me too! (no kids were allowed :)

Blessings come in different ways...

A very dear young lady to me has felt my pain the past few days....she has wisdom beyond belief....in my last posting this was her reply...i love you olivia arnold....


You have a Jesus who loves you more than anyone in this world ever could. And he's also healing you minute by minute in ways that you might not understand now but soon you will. That same Jesus is getting ready to put something amazing in your life to replace these bad times your facing. This Jesus is also keeping his promises..and he's ... See Morepromised us help at the time when its needed most. You WILL get better. We have prayed so hard for your healing and whatever we ask in his name will happen so now we've just gotta let him take his precious time so that when your healing arrives its perfect. I hope i dont sound "preachy" I just shared my heart with you...(: I love you Ginny and you are a blessing to have as a second momma.(:

Where did I go?

Where did I go? This is a question I have been asking myself alot lately. I am not the person I used to be. The one with the attitude, the spunk, the charisma to cheer anybody up. Over the past year my health has not treated me fairly. Some of it could be my fault and some of it is just the nature of the beast called diabetes. I no longer have that joy in my life. I no longer want to be the bright spot in someone's day. I no longer care if I take a shower. I no longer care about alot of things. I know all these are signs and symptoms of depression. I am on medication and I am not about to go jump off a bridge...so don't get real excited. I just want to know where I went. I want to know where the thirst for God's knowledge went. I want to know where the zest of being a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter, etc...where did all that go? I am not able to work right now. I don't know if I will ever be able to work again. All I have ever known is to work and work hard. Working and making a difference in people's lives beats the heck out of working to clean a house. I love my time with my baby boy who is 10 years old. My oldest has moved on. I feel unappreciated, unvaluable, walked over, stepped over....these are all the feelings I felt when I was in school... I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I don't know how to get out of it. I want my life back...I want my marriage to have that spark again...I want my children to say, "Oh mom supper was great!" Is this too much to ask for? If it is then this is not what I signed up for!

thankful thursdays....

lately i have not been very thankful...but today is a new day....i am thankful for
*i am at home from the hospital
*i have loving friendsd
*great husband and family
*new doors are opening up for me
*my friends have had relaxing vacations
*that my grandmother is getting the help she needs
*my parents who offer different modes of advise but is good advice
*my children
*my new job as a stay at home mom
*my daughter who has taught me patience
* my son who has taught me to laugh
*my husband has taught me not to worry
*in the past few days I have learned that worrying does not good - so stop worrying
*in the past few days I have learned just to chill out..what is going to be is what is going to be i

have so much to be thankful for it is impossible to list them all...

Hi my name is Ginny.......

I feel like I need to reintroduce myself to some of you, but here I am. I am home from the hospital. I am still not feeling great. I don't know that I will ever feel great again. I am missing work like crazy. I am enjoying being home with Jacob, but there is another part of me that needs fulfillment. There are so many things I want to do but don't have the energy to do them. The housework never seems to end. I watch Clean House for therapy to let myself know that my house isn't that bad. I keep telling myself that I don't live in Haiti. I have a roof over my head. I have food in my pantry. I have running water. It is the worry of not being able to have these things. I am not materialistic by any means. I really HATE to spend money. It's just that if I want to take a friend out for lunch or buy something for my hubs I would like to be able to do that. It is bare bones right now. I am still waiting on determinations on my longterm disability through my work and through the social security. I never thought I would be in the place to have to be depending on those resources. I am just thankful that I have worked all these years and have paid into something that I can now use when I need it. I just hope that they think I need it. There really is nothing else to talk about, so I wll write more later....

tasty thursday

ok it does not sound as tantelizing as tasty tuesday but i just created an awesome dish...i call it creamy chicken and egg noodles

1 12 oz bag egg noodles
as much chicken as you want
mushrooms
parmesan cheese
butter
cream of chicken soup

cook egg noodles per directions
saute chicken with buter and parmesan cheese
add mushrooms
add soup

stir together and their you have it....

in other news

took jamie to finish the admission process for college
have a clean bathroom
1/2 cleaned bedroom
and soon to be cleaned kitchen

it has been a busy day....hope everyone has had a great day

oh and book reviews -

time of my life - allison winn scotch
the visiting physician
buster's midnight cafe