An Explaination...

So as I lay here in my bed, sick, hurting, nauseated and just purely miserable...I am counting the days to Sunday when we leave for SC. Yes we finally have our our appointment at The University of SC Medical Center. I will be there three days and will have 2 surgeries while there to hopefully correct this problem. The doctors there are the best in the nation for GI issues. UAB even sends their patients there.

I feel like I need to explain what has been going on for the past 14 months. I am a Juvenile Diabetic, that means my pancreas produces little if any insulin. Your pancreas also creates other juices and enzymes to help digest your food. Well I have something called pancreatic hypertension. This means that my pancreas blows up like a balloon, closes off and does not let those juices and enzymes come out to help in digestion. This causes pain, nausea and vomiting and all other sorts of wonderful things. In addition to that, I have gastroparesis. This means that my stomach is very slow to empty, and as gross as it may sound, sometimes food sits there for a very long time. This causes pain, nausea and vomiting. I also have sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. This is a little valve that comes off the pancreas that opens and closes to let those afore said juices and enzymes out. Well when my pancreas is swollen or in a hypertensive state, then that valve can't open. I have had to have it cut open to let pressure off. Then of course I deal with high blood pressure and fibromyalgia.

Guys and gals, this is very painful and it has debilitated me. I can hardly eat any foods. Yogurt has been my best friend. I hate eating and yall know how much I used to love that....

During this time, I have had my faith tested. I have been angry at God, I have questioned God, have had severe depression and many other things. But over the past couple of months, my doctor that I have been with for over 10 years has opened up to me about his walk with Jesus and some of his struggles. I have realized I am not the only one in a boat like this. My hope has come back. Yes there are still days that I am wretching in pain. But over the past few weeks, I have renewed my faith in God, I have asked Him to forgive me of my wrongful thoughts about all this. I figured out that He is teaching me to lean on Him ALL the time, not just when I need Him. My best friend reminded me last night that when Jesus hung on that cruel cross and said, "My God My God why have you forsaken me?" He felt all alone, no one understood His pain. But he NEVER gave up His hope nor did He quit praying.

I just want to encourage anyone who is going through any kind of troubles, physical, emotional, spiritual, Your Jesus has been there. He is still there for you just like He has been there for me. I truly believe that all of this has been a lesson to me to lean on Him ALL the time. This is something that I have been guilty of not doing.


Just as God's timing is perfect, last Friday, I got the phone call from South Carolina for my appointment. I will be leaving Sunday, May 1, and be there for a few days to undergo some tests and surgeries. I am fully confident in God that I am going to get some answers. Yes my doctors here in Birmingham are awesome, but sometimes you have to go somewhere else.

As I end this note, I do want to share that although I feel very bad today, I have had two wonderful days. Easter was wonderful and yesterday was great too. I was able to walk 1/2 mile, do some pretty intense house cleaning, run errands, have some time with my best friend and cooked a great supper for my family. God is good!

No one may read this, but if one person does and it helps them through their pain, then it was worth me writing. Peace to all....