Working was so much easier....

Heaven help us! I realized yesterday that working outside the home is so much easier than managing the "human resources" of your home! I had a spurt of energy and decided that I would declutter my room...I use that term very loosely. (My daughter said she was tempted to call the producers of Hoarding: Buried Alive.) I had 12, count them, 12 piles of clothes seperated and ready to wash. Now this did not even count the picking up of trash, cleaning off the dresser, cleaning off my bedside table, cleaning out the bedside table, CLEANING OUT FROM UNDER MY BED! Oh did I mention that the kitchen had to be cleaned before I could cook, then I had to cook and hope I did not burn it. Then right in the middle of all this I find myself grabbing onto the side of the bed to keep from falling in the floor. (I have been suffering with vertigo.)I have friends who are AWESOME stay at home moms. I. AM. NOT. ONE. OF. THEM. But with the help of the good Lord, I will get better at this...Then I was convinced that I would sleep like a baby. WRONG! The sleep fairy did not come till around 3 am. Oh did I mention that because of the vertigo, I got so nauseated I threw up my supper? I know, TMI. I said all this to say, you moms out there who rock your house with several small children and still have your wits...you rock my world!

Just muddling through

Well alot has gone on since we last talked. Some good, some bad. I continue to have health problems and scares. This one I am going through now feels like it the final straw. I feel like I am being whittled away slowly from the funloving, carefree, compassionate, spontaneous person I used to be. I can't discuss it at this time but I will good or bad when we get the results in. I have alot of stuff going on as far as medical tests go. I really just get tired of going to the doctor and being poked on like a pin cushion. It gets very old very quickly. Enough of that... My mom is doing ok but we are very concerned about my dad. I feel so helpless. I have spent my career helping people get to the bottom of the problems they are having and it does not seem like I can help my own family. Isn't that weird how that works? I just have to stand by and watch. My kids are growing WAY too fast. Jacob is getting ready to play football. He has been kicking field goals for over a year. They are anywhere from 25 to 30 yards with about 90% accuracy. Jamie has started her own Mary Kay business. The website is www.marykay.com/jamieleighbass. I am real proud of her for all the hardwork and dedication she has had despite some others who have tried to stand in her way. Stephen is good as usual. He is like a work horse. I have never known a man who worked harder than him. He never complains. He is always here to take care of me or take me to the hospital. I know he loves me beyond words. I am so blessed to have been given him as my husband. Although I am down and scared, my family brings me laughter and happiness. I hope your family does the same things for you. Peace and love, Gin

randomness

I saw this A-Z thing making its way across the Blogosphere. So, due to my boredom, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Yep, I'm bored on a Thursday night. It's 7:30 pm...Everybody is doing their own thing....



A-age: 36..Bring on 40...looking forward to it!

B-breakfast: Special K bar and cup of coffee

C-craving: McDonald's Sausage Burrito

D-dinner: egg sandwich and sherbert

E-exercise...been doing it for over a week...not seeing results yet but will keep going

F-fear: SNAKES

G-gross: stale dishwater

H-hometown: Lincoln, Alabama.

I-something important: several of my friends are getting married soon

J- current fav jam: Can you consider Jake Owen, Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean a jam?

K- kids: 2 - Jamie is 20 and Jacob is 12

L- location: Lincoln, AL.

M- money spent recently: way too much

N- need: to learn how to juggle all these responsibilities

O- occupation: Mom. And, it's harder than anything I've done in my life...social worker
P- pet peeve: too many to list

Q- fav quote: Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

R- random fact: My uncle served in the Army with John Wayne.

S- fav snack: broccoli and honey mustard

T- fav treat: Sugar free cookies and cream ice cream

U- something unique: I have a unique collectiono f quilts.
V- fav vegetable: most any

W- workout today: walked on bum knee

X- x-rays I've had: I should glow by now I have had so many.

Y- yesterday's highlight: My dad got relief from a painful condition.

Z- time zone: central

ramblings....

So as you have probably noticed I am not an everyday blogger. I think I live a pretty mundane life so I don't think I need to bother others with it. However, some pretty exciting things have been happening around here. Now don't get your hopes up - we did not win the lottery or some nonsense like that. Let's see -

1. I have new front door steps with decorative handrails built by my husband and son.
2. I am getting the yard ready for its first trim of the season by Vinney.
3. My hubs bought me a computer so that when I go to Ft. Lauderdale, I will have full access to what is going on at my fingertips.
4. I am feeling better. I have a few things still going on but we are tackling them as they come.
5. I have a new pile of books to read. That always makes me feel happy.
6. Still struggling spiritually, but God is really working on that.
7.Had a family surprise that I can't talk about at this moment.
8. My grandmother's birthday just passed - she would have been 90 years old.
9. I found a used book store in Trussville and I am in heaven.
10. I am getting real excited bc I have a bunch of travel plans coming up for the summer - Auburn, Savannah, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Disney and possibly a cruise.

I know this is boring, but this is what is going on in my world. How about your world - is it busy too?

I'm mad, confused and ticked....

Any questions? Glad you asked! OK so I am settling into this new skin of staying at home and not running the rat race of life. It is getting easier, but some things are getting harder. For example, ashamedly, I have been the "career woman" for so long, I lose patience with people who don't do what I tell them to do, i.e. my son. It is a nightly battle with homework. That is all I am going to say about that.

Confused...I don't know where to start in shoveling out this house. Yall I am perfectly serious when I say, I am about to get one of those big dumpsters and put in my yard and just start chunking stuff. I am totally disgusted. I want to rearrange my kitchen but I can't. I physically can't. I don't want anyone to help me cause I want to do it. Do you know how mad it makes me when I realize I CAN'T do something. Oh it is not pretty. I want to rip out the carpet in my son's bedroom and put down plywood if I had my way, but I will settle for cheap flooring. I promise you there is a Pulitzer prize winning science experiment and cure in his carpet.

Ticked - at the whole healthcare system...I cannot even begin to explain why I am so mad. It is a LONG drawn out story, but it is about to work my last nerve. Whatever happened to taking care of your patient? Not, am I going to get paid for that, how much money will I charge to sign a paper, oh it will be two weeks before your blood work is back but I am going to give you medicine for seven days...need I go on? I have significant health problems that have to be dealt with on a DAILY sometimes minute by minute basis. If I knew all the answers and knew what to do I would not be coming or calling you now would I? I have some dear friends who work in all areas of medicine, doctors, nurses, social workers, medical records, etc. I hope I don't make you made by this rant bc I am not talking about YOU! I am talking about that other half a million out there.

I am doing realitivly well but I am just aggravated beyond words right now...Maybe my next post will be inspiring...let's hope.

Times are a changing'

Well it has been a long time since I have posted, which means that alot has changed. From my last post, we all read that I quit, that is walked out, on a social work job that could have easily caused me my license. I have never done that before. Anyway, about a year ago, I told my momma and sister that if I ever had to leave another job because of my health I would throw my social work hat in for a while. Well, I am one to keep my word, and it has been officially thrown in for paid positions. I am Still involved in social work organizations and causes. I have just completed a record 17 day hospital stay because of my diabetes. However, in the process, I have found two awesome doctors- one endocrinologist and one internist.

It has been very hard on me to adjust to the non working life. Many people would say oh I would love that! I have never NOT worked. From the time I was 14 I worked. I cut grass for a doctor who lived across the street, I babysat for a family of four and then I worked fast food all through high school. When I went to college the first time, I did telemarketing for satellite dishes while smelling dog food being made across the street and worked third shift in the ER and went to school in the day. When I got married, I worked a full time job, two part time jobs and went to school at night full time. Did I mention I had two kids? So as you see I am not accustomed to being still.

Now the problem is that I can't get motivated. I think the reason is that I am being "told" by my doctors that I must "stop" working for my own health. I do not, I repeat, do no like pbeing told what to do. June was a year ago that I filed for disability. Again something I did not want to do, but I was instructed to do so. I was denied. So I sought out an attorney. I finally have my hearing the 31st of this month. I do not look down on people who are on disability. It is not my place to determine if they need it or not. But when it comes to me, I am not supposed to be on disability. This is not what God has planned out for me. I have spent my life helping people in various ways. I don't like asking people for help and I don't accept help very well.

So with all that said, can you tell that times will be a changin? I am fighting severe depression, lack of self worth, moments where I just break down and cry and days where I don't get out of the bed. However, due to the fact that I have awesome friends and family, some that I have never met in person, I am going to get through this. I have a cousin I have never met before pray for me and with me over the phone. Can I tell you that I slept like a baby that night! I felt the weight of that day was gone.

Today has been a better day. I am thankful for that. I pray for brighter and happier days. In closing, if you have ever experienced any of what I am going through, please share with me. It will definitely help me and it might just help you. I want to become that carefree, goofy, funny, fun loving person I used to be. My husband told me I needed to find "Ginny" before social work. He said that social work is not who I am, but what I did. Pretty smart fellow huh?

Love to all.....