I AM.....

I Am.

I Am...Ginny

I Want...my house to be clean...

I Have...a much better life than I ever thought possible and more than i deserve

I Wish...I could re raise my childre....i don't think i have done a very good job

I Hate...being late, feeling guilty, disappointing people, stubbing my toe, biting my tongue, a dirty house, fighting, people who abuse othe people
s
I Fear...that a snake will get in my house...it will immediately go up for sale

I Hear...my son talking about fishing- he would rather fish than eat

I Search...the Internet for anything....

I Wonder...what my life would have been like if i had been a nurse...

I Regret...not finishing school earlier

I Love...my husband, my son, my daughter, surprises, day trips with my hubs, seeing my children succeed in school

I Ache...when my children are sick, my parents getting older, when i hear about the elderly being abused, the pressure that my children have in school...

I Always...strive for perfection.

I Usually...fall short.

I Am Not...a pushover.

I Dance...hardly ever - i have no rhythm...

I Sing...in the car to anything that is on the radio....

I Never...feel completely relaxed.

I Rarely...deep clean my house...i need to or hire a maid

I Cry...not as much as i used to

I Am Not Always...as put together and confident as people think I am.

I Lose...sleep.

I'm Confused...about my health and why it is so bad

I Need...more hours in the day.

I Should...do so much more...too much to list

Who Are You?

what in the world have I been doing?

haven't posted in a while...had ALOT going on...like I was waiting for Bryce to call me for my private suite complete with padded walls...i have been back in the hospital...thought I had the flu..negative...thought I had kidney stones...negative...had kidney infection...think I have a nasty return of a fungus...yes I know that is gross...in my UTI tract...going for outpatient procedure on Thursday to investigate that...daughter started school...I am looking for a job...had an AWESOME interview today...really hoping this works out...really don't want to drive to Birmingham anymore...having a root canal tomorrow...got a sick child...so I have been busy...including my smart mouthed husband but that just comes with the territory!

Today....

Well today has been an interesting day. I took my oldest daughter to college. I showed her how to go and pay your tuition, get parking decals, to buy "used books" and how to always find your classes before they start. It was weird, I think she actually listened to me. I don't think she realized how much school costs. In all, I think we paid a total of about $2500.00 for this semeseter! I told her she had alot of dishes to do! *grin* I am so proud of her. She has a plan and seems very determined to stick to it. She told me today that she is not worried about her social life now like she was when she was in high school. Another statement today was, "I am really going to apply myself and see how smart I am". My precious daughter has been through alot in her life. She has had cancer, her biological mother abandoned her, has had her heart broken many times, but she has always overcome it. I met her dad when she was five years old. I fell in love with her before I fell in love with her dad. I feel that I have devoted my life to her and now I am seeing the results of it. She is in the pre nursing program and already knows that she wants to work with cancer patients. She knows what they are going through. She has lost body parts, her hair and so much more. But she is back with a vengence and is ready to conquer the world. I am so proud of her and I know she will make a great nurse. I love you Jamie Leigh!

watch out 2011....

This post has been on my facebook page for a few days, and I was having difficulty copying and pasting from one site to another. Anyway, here it is...hope you enjoy....



This may turn into a long post, but I will try to be concise. Most of you know that this has not been the greatest year for me. If you have failed to realize this then you must wear rose tinted glasses. Anyway, I have gone through some severe depression from having to resign from my job due to my health, which continued to decline. Recently thought I was ready to go back to work and was absolutely blown away by some comments that were made to me. I was humiliated to have to apply for disability. The depression just got worse and worse. I have been in a very dark place. Well there are three things that happened to me over this weekend that tell me that 2011 is not going to be that way.



The first thing that happened was I had the pleasure of hearing a group called Crystal River, www.chrystalriveronline.net. A trio of guys who are on fire on for the Lord. Everyone song they sang I needed to hear. One song in particular, My History is Not My Destiny, really slapped me all in the face. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of, but I know that I am a child of the King. All of that mess I created is gone - forgiven and forgotten. I have to let it go.



The second thing that happened was a sermon I listened to on Sunday morning. The preacher at Frazier United Methodist Church in Montgomery is awesome. He preached about all the times in the Bible where God refers to himself as the Light. He talked about the Light will never be put out by the darkness. How we have so much darkness in our lives due to losing a job, having failing health, depression beyond your control, disappointed in your kids and their behaviors - hello are you talking to me? I mean there are over a 1000 people in that church and he is all in my face. The one thing he said that stuck with me is this statement, "What better gift to give Jesus this Christmas season than all your darkness...He can handle it....Let Him bring light into your life." That really stuck with me. Why am I hanging on to all this junk that I can't do anything about? Why am I not leaning on Him rather than myself - I think there is a Bible verse about that. :) I looked up how many times the word "light" is used in the Bible - 232 times where darkness is used 163 times. Even in the Bible, light takes over.



The third thing that happened was I read Beth Moore's blog - per ususal. Well she is a phenomenol Christian, teacher and woman. She is a firm believer in memorizing verses. Her theory is that if you have a plethera of verses in your head, you can pull one out at any time to fit your situation. This could be while ministering to another person, your having a bad day or you want to give glory to God for something He has worked out in your life. So she suggested taking a spiral bound index card and using it for memorizing verses that apply to your life. To do this you would memorize 2 verses a month. In addition she suggested to get an accountability partner who will do the same thing. Each one will hold the other accountable for memorizing their verses. (Well I picked another awesome Christian, Becky. She was my college roommate and kept me straight!) Anyway my verses for the year are going to be all about light. If it is used 232 times in the Bible then surely I can come up with 24 verses about light and how He will guide, guard and keep us in every situation we have. There may still be darkness that comes into my life in this New Year, but I am going to have a weapon ready for it.



I know this is kind of lengthy, but I just felt I had to share. So many people have been an encouragement to me, and I know they too must face darkness in their life at times. I want to be that person who can encourage in the New Year. I want to thank each person who reads this for all the encouragement you have given me this year. I hope I can return the gift....

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