Have you ever....

Have you ever felt so bad physically and emotionally but then feel guility because you know there are others who are worse off than you? That is where I have been lately. I am one of the most blessed women on the face of the Earth. Some people don't understand how our family works but we do. We are all healthy and happy for the most part. But sometimes I just get to feeling sad and all I want to do is cry. I miss people. I get disgusted at work. I get tired of the corporate latter. But yet I want to work. I want to be that parent that is at church with clean little children and husband in tow. I want to be that person who always remembers everyone's birthdays and baby showers. I want to be that mom that that teachers don't dread see coming. I want all of this but don't know how to get it. I want to host parties, I want a pretty yard. Is this all too much to want? Is this what they call a Gold Digger?