thankful thursdays....

been a while since i posted a thankful thursday so i think it is time for one...of course i don't think anybody reads these anymore but oh well...

1. i am thankful for my God who has taken me back into his loving arms and has forgiven me for my sins...

2. i am thankful that my mother's hip has healed and she is only walking with a cane

3. i am thankful that my dad has finally gotten the right combination of meds and he is my old daddy again...

4. i am thankful for all the personal growth my sis has done...i am super proud of her

5. i am thankful that i am going to have my should repaired AGAIN tomorrow

6. i am thankful for the people at work who have been faithful to continually check on me

7. i am thankful for my friend Marlyn who is like a mentor to me...she is awesome

8. i am thankful and proud of my daughter and her decisions for her life after graduation

9. i am thankful that my son who is 10 still wants a "holdin'"..that is snuggling

10. i am thankful that i will be able to see alot of old friends at my church that i was born in and married at on Sunday...

11. i am most thankful this week for my husband who works so hard and is allowing me to stay home and heal and take care of our family...

what are you thankful for....

before and after - pictures to follow

one of my friends and i are taking before and after pictures of rooms of our house and how crazy, unorganized and many other things...we are keeping it very REAL so as my friend said, "you may be shamed to be a friend after the pictures."...my friend, Becky, is so smart...she is really my sense of control and just tells me the way it is and my friend, Miranda, is my sense of reason....okay so i digress, anyway, i took one room today and cleaned it...like Becky said, start at one side and work your way to the other...it could still use some fine tuning but it looks ALOT better...the reason there are no pictures yet is because I can't figure out how to get the pictures from my phone to my computer...i really want a new real camera...also, i took a picture of the meal i cooked tonight...it was baked chicken with basil and lemon, steamed squash and zucchinni, mac and cheese and mexi corn casserole...my family is about to pass out because they have had two good nutritious suppers in two days... i think my kids are getting tired of me being around so much...i am finding some drama that goes on and i knew nothing about because i was working...well like i said before, i shot the sheriff and i am the new one in town - watch out! there is no reason for all this back talk, smart mouth, cutting of the eyes and asking my WHY......because i said so dang it.....

my new life...

well i consider this to be the first week of the rest of my life...this is my new life...i have decided to think of my new life is an "early retirement". haha...it did not start off very well but it got better...i still have until june 2 to make a final decision of whether i will return to work...my feelings sway many times a day...anyway...the day started with a flare up of the gastroparesis...went out to my mom's house and got some loving...snapped two pounds of fresh green beans...then my sis cut the crap out of her hand and had to have four stitches...i then came home and cooked a good supper...everything is on my new diet that i have been told i need to look at just like a recovering addict looks at their drug of choice...think about it...if i eat the wrong foods (drug) then i get sick....i cooked fresh green beans, fresh turnip greens, mashed sweet potatoes, fresh, and KFC grilled chicken...it was so good...did not get too much domestic stuff done today...i am telling you this housewife stuff i know nothing about...please someone leave me some tips....right now i am sitting in my chair in the den, with a full belly and feel ok....God has dropped many signs down to me that say "here is your sign Virginia" you know when you hear you first name you are in trouble....hope everyone has a great week...

there's no dollar sign on a peace of mind...

this is a line to one of my favorite songs, "there is no peace of mind on a peace of mind this i've come to know"..zac brown band...

so many thoughts are going through my hand and none of them make much sense...there have been so many things i could not control...my dad and his drinking, my mother and her work addiction and her never ending love for my father...many other family members who i dare not go into any detail...

i have spent my life taking care of other people...i often tell people that i had no choice but to be a social worker because "my mother was a teacher, my dad was a drunk and the rest of the family is just crazy." for whatever reason i can take care of others but have a hard time taking care of myself. there are so many crazy parts of my life right now that i am afraid to write them much less publish them for fear yall may send me to tuscaloosa.....

first of all is my health or the lack thereof...i am so discouraged about my health and everything that goes along with it...diabetes is an evil disease....i never know how devestating it could be to a body...even if you take the the best care of yourself as you can...now i am not about to sit here and make anyone belived that i am or have been the perfect diabetic, but what i will tell you is that i have tried real hard...maybe not hard enought but i have tried....found out yesterday that i will have to pretty much drink my food for the rest of my life...i am sure turnip greens will taste mighty fine....

work - most people try to figure a way to get out of work....that is all i know how to do...this stay at home mom stuff i just don't know about it...i don't know if i am cut out for that...what do you do...i don't have small children running around to clean up after or soccer games or MDO or those other SAHM things

all of my friends are in my computer...that is sad...what i would give for a girls day out...i have some friends that live close by but they have just as many problems as i have...they have small ones that they can't leave alone....

i spent all those years working on my degree and not it seems to be thrown right out of the window...what can i do with it now....even if i go on disability for a year or so and then decide i can go back to work...what do i tell the interviewer...oh i was sick and had to take some time off...yeah i am sure that will ear my some brownie points.....

i feel abandoned by my family...not my mom, dad and sister but others...i have one set of cousins that are faithful to check on me....

am i being a whiny butt...i don't like whiny butts so i certainly don't want to be one....

i am just so overwhelmed...there are things that have happened over the past week that i am not at liberty to discuss right now...please somebody give me some advice...such as

*if i were you i would

*have you thought about....

don't give me -
*you are having a pity party

*it could be so much worse

get my drift....i am so lost...we won't even go into the church thing right now...love to all .....peace

lawn mower thingy

i hope, dream or imagine that i might have some stalkers out there who are just quiet...it would thrill my soul if i had some comments....i know i post this on here and facebook but i don't get any comments there either...am i that boring...please tell me so maybe i can take a personality for dummies class....anywho...this is what has been going on in my world....

most of you know that i have paid several doctor's mortgages over the past month because i have been so sick...so on the way to one of my appointments the other day, my husband and i see an obviously handicapped lady riding in an electric wheelchair down mainstreet in talladega...there is a man behind that "appears" to have hooked like a lawn mower thingy that they stand on and the mower pulls them along...anyway we get by them and no sir it was not the lawn mower thingy - HE WAS ON ROLLER SKATES HOLDING ON TO HER AS HER ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR PULLED HIS LAZY BUTT ALONG! i was shocked, annoyed, ill....i wanted to get out of my car and give him a piece of my mind...there was nothing wrong with him...he should have been walking his lazy tail beside her....

tonight at dinner my husband and i are talking about going to see ron white in concert...for those of you who don't know i LURVE ron white....i want him as my side kick my brother...anywho...my cultured son says, "you know bb king is coming right?" my 18 year old daughter who thinks i am about to let her out into the world by herself says, "who is bb king?" my husband and i are trying to pick our chins up off the floor and close our mouths...jacob is looking at her like she is a complete idiot...my hubs says, "he is the man that invented the bb gun." my 18 year old says, "ok" and keeps eating.....

we were at an ice cream shoppe the other day and as we were sitting there jamie my 18 year old noticed some very decorative boxes..she asked what i thought was in them...i told her probably decadent chocolate...my 10 year old says, "what would you decorate with chocolate?"

my son, aka opie, has become quite the fisherman...he and my dad have re connected on so many levels....some of you don't know the story so just be happy that a grandfather and his grandson can stand to be in the same room together now...they have been fishing everyday after school...over the past three weeks he has caught about 11 fish...mom told him when he got to 15 we would have a fish fry....he has been so excited.....

my health if anyone is interested is ok at this moment...we do know that there is no cure for sphincter of odi dysfunction with gastroparesis but i am taking a medicine from canada that is supposed to be the bomb...this was at my doctor's suggestion...i don't know about work right now...it seems that stress is the #1 thing that makes this flare up ...so for those of you who know what kind of work i do - long term care social work - then you know that equals stress...

ok that is all for now...i hope somebody reads this and leaves me a comment...sometimes i feel i am typing to cyberworld....

Nothing

I am in a really bad mood for various reasons. One of the reasons is that it seems like no one reads my blog after I sit for hours to compose. So if you are a stalker please let me know. I will not be offended. So as of now, I have nothing to say.

What have I been doing & What I need to be doing?

NOTHING! I did make a home made strawberry short cake, but it all got eaten before a pic could be taken. I have just completed my 5th yes I said 5th hospitalization since March 2. I love my nurse friends, i.e. Becky, but yall inflict alot of pain on my body. I have no veins. Why will they not just give me a port. I'm just saying. I carry my PICC line measurements in my purse. It is rediculous what they put me through. At UAB I quit counting at 25...yep I said 25 sticks. Now with all that said, if one did not know better you would think I was an IV drug user - but oh yeah I am too fat and have NO veins. So I have been recuperating at home. I am not a good patient - ask Becky. I am really not a good recovery patient. It seems like every time I get out of the hospital, I get this burst to clean house. Then after I have killed myself, then I am in the bed for 3 days. Why is it that a messy house drives us women insane. I am by far not a housekeeper -again ask Becky. But I do have my standards. My den looks like a Chinese laundrey mat has opened up. There are literally 10 loads of clothes that need to be washed. The only good thing is the den is clean minus the laundrey.

On to other news, Jamie's senior prom was last night. Please don't think she got any pictures made. Sometimes I wonder what goes through teenagers minds. Maybe I don't want to know. My mom is doing fabulous following her hip surgery . She has returned to work and is driving. GO MOMMA. My dad is doing great too. We seem to have the right combination of meds for him,

Hold your breath on this one - I am considering not going back to work. My health is such that it is not stable enough for me to give 100 % of me to the job or to the Residents. It is not written in stone so please don't go advertising that Ginny has quit work. It is just something we are considering. No decicion will be made until the doctors release me. I have two more appointments that I know of that I have to keep which will probably entail more tests and such. So I tell you all this to ask that you pray for me that God will clearly let me know what I need to do. I sometimes have to be hit over the head by God...it runs in the family.

I hope you all hada a great weekend and will have a fabulous Sunday.

Here's your sign...love God

Ok so most of you know that I am as hard headed as they come. Most of the time people will tell me I can't do something just because they know it will make me do it. For example, my dad told me in high school that I would never finish college. Ok so it took my 8 years but I finished. The latest is that I have no will power - yes still from ever encouraging father. What he is referring to is my health and the fact that I have lost almost 40 pounds. I have no intention of gaining this weight back, but I think his malfunction is that we went on 1.5 mile walk and I have been barely able to move since. He thinks I have given up. Just wait til tomorrow Pops! Anyway, back to my sign.

I am that person who has to be hit over the head in order for something to get through to me. Cause you know I have it all planned out in my retarded brain. Well as many of you know I have had some pretty significant health problems. Now this is all left to your judgement. Here is the roll call of problems - ketoacidosis made me unconscious for a while...stayed in SICU for several days...major GI bleed...about 3 units I lost...stomach just not working right...that is just the nicest way to save all the gory details. I am to go back to work on the 19th. This is yet to be placed in stone you see because Ginny is finally learning to listen to the docs but more importantly listen to that small voice of God.

I have been "reading" a book by the wonderful Beth Moore called "Breaking Free". I went to see her last February and will go see her in December when she and other great women grace Birmingham with their presence. Ok so I digress. So last night I pick up the book and I am a good 100 pages into it and that voice says to me, "You are reading this book...you are not studying it." Now for those of you who are familiar with Beth Moore you know she can smack you some book chapter and verse in a minute. So I said, "ok...we will break out the notebook and start studying like we were in college."

So I start over. Guess what the first chapter was about. Pride. Do you hear me? PRIDE. And I am not talking about a group of lions. I am very independent and really don't want or need anyone's help cause you know I am a social worker and I can save the world. Do you hear the sarcasm? My pride issue here lately is that I feel defeated and don't feel like this is my time to be healed in time to go back to work. Ok there I said it.

I do have short and long term disability through my work which we are trying to get started. But what about the big one - the disability from the government? Ok this is where I am more than humiliated. That is for people who can't make their own decisions, or people who are worse off than me. Please do not send me hate mail about this. These are just the thoughts that go through this brain that occupies my head.

I have never been so sick in my life. I certainly have never lost almost 40 pounds in a month. Help me understand where I am and what I should do! I am trying to listen to God but this dern PRIDE and my stubborness is getting in the way. I know that Pride is my sin. I have known this for years. Please some of you stronger Christians out there help a sister out! I love you all. I am being very brave to post this out for God and everyone to see, but I am really struggling. Hugs to all and to all a good night.

Jamie's Senior Pics...

This just a sample of the pics we took last Saturday! She is more beautiful than ever....

Is this the final answer...I hope so...

When I last left you, I had just gotten home from the hospital from having an ERCP where they had to open my pancreatic duct...yes this is not fun...it causes acute pacreatitis. Anyway, I have since been transferred to UAB and discharged. I basically spent the entire month of March and the first part of April in the hospital. So after much ado about alot of things the final diagnosis is sphincter of Odi disorder and severe gastroparesis. This is a fancy way to say my stomach ain't working. It seems that my diabetes has attacked the nerves in my stomach. It could be worse like my kidneys and legs and eyes. Anyway, the sphincter of Odi is a valve that comes off the pancreas and dumps into the stomach. So this valve is supposed to open and close. Well mine wants to stay closed. Gastroparesis is where the stomach does not empty in a timely manner and the food sits in my stomach and basically rots. Yes this is gross but that is what it is. I have belches that could clear Bryant Denny Stadium. So with the two of these combined it means that I have to be very careful with what I eat. What I need to eat for my diabetes interacts with the GI diet and vice versa. So in the mean while I have lost 34 pounds in a month. I am basically drinking my nutrition right now. I am to have an appointment with a GI doc who specializes in this problem, an endocrinologist who is familiar with my diabetes - I have antibodies for type 1 and 2 diabetes and a dietician. Doesn't this all sound like fun? Anybody want to join me? I am to go back to work on the 19th but that is still up in the air. God has finally hit me over the head and said, "Here is your sign!" I have to get well. So it may be slim pickings around here for awhile but my family needs me alive and well more than my job. Yes I said it! Thank you to all for your prayers, calls and cards. I could not have come through this without yall!

I am alive...

For the faithful few, I am alive and feeling much better. I do still have quite a recovery but being home is just WONDERFUL! I had been throwing up off and on for about 3 weeks. I finally slowed down and called my GI doctor. I was having the same symptoms I had last summer when there were gall stones in my pancreas and duodenum. As my luck would have it, Dr. Halama was on hospital rotation so he was not seeing patients in the office. But when his nurse told him I had called and what was going on he wanted me to come in on Wednesday, March 3 at 1:00. He was going to meet me in the office. Well Tuesday was a day from Hades....I could not keep anything down not even Sprite or Ginger Ale. I called back to his office and his response is to the ER and he will meet me there. So I drove 45 minutes to the hospital sick as a dog...thank God I had a good ER doc. She looked at me and said "oooh you are green". They admitted me, did an endoscopjy and then an ERCP. They found that my pancreatic duct had another stricture - so they stretched it and sent me back to my room. All was going well until the 3rd shift nurse was making her last round and found me unresponsvie . After running blood gasses and other tests they found that I was in ketoacidosis. This was not because of my sugar but but because of all the bile and acidic junk that had been in my body. As the doctor explained to me later, I was throwing up everything but I was not able to hold down anything to neutralize the acids in my stomach. So my pH was critical, as well as my magnesium, potassium and sodium were critically low. So true to form for me, what should have been a short hospital stay turned into a 10 day hospital stay. There is a period of about a week that I do not remember. I am trying to remember some things but it is coming back slowly. My vision is impaired and my balance is a little off as a result of all of this but the doctor says all this should work itself out in the next week. I want to thank everybody who has prayed for me, prayed for my momma who is recuperating from hip surgery and those who came to visit. I am very blessed to have the friends I have. I will tell you this was by far the scariest time of my life. I have always depended on my mom to be with me when I am sick. I could not be with her and she could not be with me. This was not a good feeling. But with the friends that we have everybody was taken care of. I am TRYING not to be hard headed and stay home for a while, but we will see how that works out. So again I say THANK YOU for everything...

thankfulness

i was talking to one of my bff's the other day and she said, "you know i don't mean any disrespect but i think God gets a little over confident in what he thinks we can handle." well i am beginning to agree with her. i am certainly not going to go into a gripe / complaining session because i know that i am so very blessed / lucky and all that. i look at those pics on , breaks my heart. but here lately, i am being overloaded with work stuff, family stuff, personal stuff, spiritual stuff...i mean i need a u haul to haul all this stuff around.

however, among all these issues i am having, i am very thankful for some special stuff....

1. am thankful that i now have a lady that comes once a week and cleans my house - thank you ms. ella

2. that my son, jacob, is still such a loving child at 10 years old - i quit counting at 20 - the number of times he told me he loved me

3. that my son still sees his momma as the most beautiful woman in the world - he told me i was prettier than carrie underwood

4. that although my daughter, jamie, is still sick, she is getting better

5. for my wonderful friends

6. my hubs - he is the best

7. that i have wonderful church members - they are far kinder to me than i deserve - two showed up at the er thursday night....

8. that i am saved by my Lord and that he loves me unconditionally

9. that failure is never final unless it is the last time i try

10. although some of my friends are facing very hard times - lost jobs, children, family members - that with the love of God and his comfort they are getting better

11. i am alive and have a warm place to lay my head tonight

12. although there is not all of my favorite foods in the kitchen - i am not hungry - and if you have looked at me lately you will know that i could stand to miss a few meals....

13...what are you thankful for....

thoughts and plans for 2010

1. first of all it is hard for me to believe that is 2010...it was 10 years ago that my husband and i sat up on NYE and babysat a bunch of computers because of Y2K and NOTHING happened...

2. my daughter is a senior...yes a senior...

3. therefore, I will lose my mind and cry alot

4. spend alot of money because of #2

5. eternally thankful for #2 because 14 years ago we were told to make funeral plans

6. going to the beach in february for a social workers conference

7. going to disney in march with 2 great friends - who without them this trip would not be possible - thanks mike and tami

8. hopefully have lapband surgery in april

9. watch my daughter graduate from high school in may

10. turn 35 in june

11. celebrate my son's 11th birthday in july

12. celebrate 13 years of marriage to my best friend and soul mate in august - his birthday too

13. enroll my daughter in college - cry cry tear tear work work - in september

14. find ghosts and goblins in october - should not be too hard to find

15. be especially thankful in november

16. celebrate the most awesome birthday in december - yes jamie it is your birthday too - but Jesus

17. WORK ON ME!!!!! to be a better person, co worker, social worker, friend, mother, wife, sister, Christian and all that jazz.....

Happy 2010

13 has always been my lucky number....

I was born on Friday 13, 1975, at 13 minutes till 8 in the morning, weighed 8 pounds and 13 oz and my mom was in room 213. Need I say more? So why should I think tonight would be any different? Sweet 13!

I am an avid sometimes obnoxious Alabama fan. I grew up with my granddaddy watching four and five games - at the same time. I had no choice but to love football. I just want to express though that it is just a game. It is not life or death, and there is no reason for people to be so bitter, mean and ugly. I feel like that if we all supported each other throughout life in various situations we would not have so many hate crimes, needless murders and such. I can honestly say that if Auburn had been playing for the national championship, I would have been pulling for them. Let's support each other and make 2010 the best! Now don't get it twisted, I don't know if I will ever be able to sing Rocky Top! :)

Congratulations to UA for an awesome season!

sick, sick, sicker than a dog...

i have not disappeared...i am just sooooooooooo sick...i have been sick since Thanksgiving....i have kidney stones twice and now i have an upper respiratory infection from hockey sticks along with bronchitis and double ear infections...i promise i will have more interesting and more pleasant postings in the near future....

i feel like i need to say this...

sometimes i feel like people don't read my blog...my blog is open to public viewing; therefore, if a stranger reads this and it saves their life or even some heartache then it will be worth it...many of you know that the last part of the summer and into the fall was a very hard time for me...i lost several people who were very dear to me...they ranged in age from 19 to 58...one of the deaths was totally senseless...this is where the story begins...

ambien is a very dangerous drug...i did not believe this for a long time, but now i am convinced it needs to be taken off the market...it is now my mission to contact congressmen, doctors and anyone else who will listen to me about the dangers of this drug...i had been taken ambien for a while because i do have horrible insomnia...i began doing strange things about three weeks ago...cooking in the middle of the night, eating everything in the house, talking in my sleep...well much to my surprise, this morning when i checked the mail, there was a new credit card from cato in there...i have no recollection of this...tonight when i got home there were four packages from amazon on my couch...i only remember ordering two...when i opened the other two i found a book and a party tray organizer...for those of you who know me well know that ordering a book could be considered normal...but a party tray organizer...no way...the kicker to all of this is that i got written up for something at work last week that i have no recollection of...nothing...all of this stuff i do not remember....when i my job became involved i had to draw the line...the only thing i can link it to is the ambien....what if i had gotten behind the wheel of a car...a very dear friend of mine began taking ambien and very shortly after killed himself...he left behind a beautiful wife and two darling daughters....he had no idea what he was doing....this drug is horrible...it may benefit some but the more i research this the more i think it harms more than it does good...

if you don't agree that is fine...but please respect my opinions...i feel this is very heavy on my heart and i am doing my part to bring awareness to the major side effects of this medicine....

ok i'm a thief...but Jesus died beside one...

My very best friend in the whole wide world posted this. The author is unknown but it is POWERFUL! I hope you get as much out of it as I did!

Letter From Jesus About Christmas

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town. Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it: 1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up . . . It will be nice hearing from you again.4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary - especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS
Human Author Unknown, Divine Author Close To My Heart

stories as promised....

here is a warning...jamie got her drivers license...i am having issues accepting the fact that she is old enough to be driving and the fact that she graduates this year...i remember her first day of school...even the outfit she wore...pastel checked dress with little ducks and chickens on it...okay on with the story tuesday night she wanted to go over to a friend's house...it is like 10 miles...so stephen told her to go straight there and straight back...to call when she got there and when she left...she did...we were so proud...until...the next morning stephen was taking me to work and when we got in the truck...the tank was empty...yes i said empty...he says, "i am going to kill Jamie...she has run all the gas out and did not bother to tell anybody." i come to her defense and say, well she probably did not have any money...so we go on about our day....that afternoon he came to get me from work and had a smug look on his face...he proceeds to tell me the latest conversation he has had with jamie...jamie has called and wanted to know if she could go to her friend's house...stephen said, "no, not after what you pulled last night." jamie was speechless....stephen had tripped the odometer the night before...when we got in the truck he saw that she had been 56 miles....she was busted....i am sure this is the first of many stories....i just cracked up...for once i am not the bad guy...she stayed at home .....

My Thanksgiving...

on this thanksgiving, i am lying in bed with kidney stones and also on administrative call for work...my family is spread out right now doing thanksgiving things...now please do not feel sorry for me, my family would have been more than happy to nurse me while we were out at family dinners, but i chose to stay at home and now am really glad i did...i have been reflecting over this past year, and wanted to share some of my thoughts... at this time of year.we look at our successes, failures, losses and so much more. i try to be thankful at all times and give thanks every day..not just once a year. now i am not saying that others are not thankful...i am just saying that i need to be more mindful of what i have and remember to give thanks daily...at one time in my life, i was running like my head was on fire...many people think i still do...the difference is that i have figured out what is of concern to me and what i can influence...i have become more proactive and less reactive...there are some things in our life that we just simply cannot do anything about...we can be concerned about those situations but we must not let them consume us....we need to focus on those areas that we can do something about - our circle of influence....some of you may be reading this and thinking, "ok what happened to ginny...who took her"...i have spent the greater majority of my life focusing on my circle of concern...trying to fix everything...trying to make everyone get along...trying to have the perfect home, with a perfect family, you know the whole 2.5 kids, middle income family...that is just not the way it is...i also spent alot of time worrying about what others thought about me...what were they saying about my religious views, what they thought of how i was raising my children, and here is the big one...the kind of house i live in...i live in a manufactured home - a double wide - ok i said it...for so long i let that define my home....a home is a not a structure...a home is a feeling...after i quit worrying about people thinking less of me because i lived in a manufactured home i became happier and more at peace...it may come as a surprise to many of you but it does bother me what others think of me...i know i come across as this hard nose, purpose driven, goal driven person...i do have a heart...all of my tears, fears, heartaches, sleepless nights, all came to a wonderful resolution a few weeks ago...jamie was not feeling well and she was laying beside me in the bed...she said, "you know momma, when jenifer tries to cuddle up to me it feels so weird, but when i cuddle up with you it is just natural...i love you." that is the moment that i realized that i have so much to be thankful for...i realized that what i do everyday does matter...i realized that i was loved...and i also realized that had so much more to do for my family. there is no greater task given to a woman than to be a mother and a wife...i cannot explain the love i have for my family...but it is great...i just hope that as i begin a new year, i can be more thankful each day...i hope that my circle of influence becomes greater and my circle of concern gets smaller....i am so thankful that my God does not expect perfection, He accepts my failures, He picks me up when i have fallen, He forgives me...i have a great family...oh we have our moments but we love each other dearly....i am so thankful for my children...they are good kids that keep me laughing...i ache for those parents who have lost their children, i cannot imagine...i have a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally - and that is a big job, i have a great job, i have parents that love me and are always there for me, i have a sister that i could not live without, i have the most awesome friends in the world, i so do not deserve any of this...do you remember that song we used to sing in Bible class,"he's still working on me...to make me what i ought to be"...well He is still working on me and it is a blessing that failure is never final unless it is the last time you try" love to all

stories from 104....

* a few saturdays ago i had to work...jacob wakes me up and says, "momma since you have to work today you need to have breakfast made for you.." so when i get my shower and go in the kitchen, there is a plate, silverware and a juice glass on the table...he then tells his dad, "you are on egg duty" dad tells him the eggs are expired so jacob replies, "well then we will just make her gourmet toast." so when the toast is done...he sits down beside me and puts the butter and jelly on my toast...how sweet is that...

*jamie cleaned up the kitchen a couple of nights ago...so the next morning i get up to get my coffee mug...i open the top rack of the dishwasher and there is something dangling yes i said dangling......i look and it is 3 teabags dangling from the top rack...she had put the tea boiler in the top rack and did not even look to see if there was anything in it...please remember this is the same child who told me she could not scramble the hamburger meat because the meat skillet was dirty...you know we couldn't have washed it or used another skillet...

*jacob gets in the car with my sister the other day after school (she picks them up everyday)...he gets in and he is quiet...yes this is very unusual for him...she asks him what is wrong an dhe announces, "lib i have had a bad day and i am just pissed off." no i do not condone cussing but this just came out of the blue....

this is not a funny story...yet...but jamie has been going out with her friends...i have been allowing her to ride with friends...therefore, i do not get any sleep until she is home...i know that i am the old fart in this group and most of you have little kids...i am telling you it is not fun...love them as babies...they grow up was too fast....

hopefully i will have more later....

heavens to betsie and every other momma in the world...

mommas unite...is our work ever done? i promise i don't think it is...i get so discouraged when i go over to some of my daughter's friends houses and their house is "show perfect"...it drives me insane...we work in our house everyday but i swear that if an emergency happened and people showed up at my house unexpectedly...i would die and we would have another emergency....how do these women do it...i have washed no less than 7 loads of clothes...folded and put them up....and there is 70 more to do....i ask my daughter to sweep our kitchen and she sweeps half of it...WHAT...i pointed the other part to her and she looked at me like i was crazy...she did go and sweep it up...oh did i mention the medicine bottle she knocked around the floor and still did not pick it up...she usually does a real good job cleaning up...i guess tonight she was just off her game...oh and my son.... if i could figure out a way to burn his room without burning the rest of the house down i would...i am not kidding...it seriously needs Clean House's help...with Niece Nash...she would say it was nothing but foolishness...would it be wrong of me to send him off with his grandfather and go in his room and throw everything away...only leave his bed and dresser...i am SICK of it...those of you who knew me as a child...DO NOT say anything about my room...it was spotless compared to his...i would take a picture of it and put it up here but i am afraid that someone would call DHR and i am so embarrassed to admit something like this is in my house...i am convinced there are things growing in the carpet in his room... seriously...if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE help a sister out....i am about to scream...oh and as my friend beck says, "males should have never been allowed to come inside"...i'm just saying....

thankful thursdays....

i have so much to be thankful for...too much to list but here are some....
* dear friends that are more like family than friends - i will miss you aunt marsha
* beautiful weather that allowed my aunt marsha enter the pearly gates of heaven
*my dad is almost home - safely
*my job and my coworkers
*my kids - boy do i love those critters
* my friends that understand my eccentricness - is that a word
*every day
*my residents that i work with everyday - they are so sweet
*that i don't have to be sinless and perfect...and the Lord still loves me
*alabama football - sorry it is the fall
*my pets
hope everyone has a great friday

Gin and Beck's Wild God Chase

Dear Santa, I want a GPS because my OCD friend who printed out 8 maps to get to Memphis did not print one to get out of Memphis...We could have gotten to Memphis from Denver. The drive in was great...followed the directions...found hotel that should have been rented by the hour (i will exlpain that later.) found olive garden and found the forum...enjoyed some praise and Jesus and God and Beth and Travis and the list goes no...so it is time to turn in for the evening so that we can be fresh children of the Mighty King...this is where the story derails....see we had maps in every direction going to memphis but noone leading out...so we had to turn afore mentioned maps upside down to try to get out...so we do...EVERY ROAD WE TURNED ON WAS CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went in the same five block circles a bout five times. Don't ask me why we did not stop and ask directions form all the police officers...that would be they were too busy doing something else cause their cars were empty....yes i said empty. So my wonderful friend beck , says, oh there is a group of officers...i roll up to the red light...let me tell yall...they were officers all right just not police officers...they were in one of the groups where you got to kill someone to get in.....look i am into saving lives not ending them....at this point i look at becky and i say "I don't care where the next ramp to the intersection is we are getting on it....it will lead to somewhere." sure enough we find an on ramp get up on the freeway and are welcomed by, "Welcome to Arkansas." At this point i realize becky is terrified of bridges. She has toenails, all 10 of them dug into my carmats....if we had had a wreck she would have broken every stinkin toe...we get across the river and back...we decide that we are going to stop at taco bell....it is open all night....hungry people who know the city will be there....listen they had some fun with us...they knew we were lost...they knew we were from out of town...gave us our drink free and some directions...wrote them down directly...we ended up in corinth, mississippi a good 50 miles from where we were headed....we were so exhasued by the time we got back to our room...we did not know that beth's title of her lessons were going to be, "on a wild God chase" but sister we chased a goose a long time before we got to GOD!!! Praise the Lord. So we checked out the very morning, I overheard a lady say, "We should have these rooms by the hour...we were only here 4! I do it again for GOD!

t-minus not soon enough...

dear readers...i am so pumped...do you hear me...PUMPED....it is less than 72 hours before i hit the road and have a road trip with my college roommate - becky - we are both so excited...i know alot of times people lose touch with their roommates...well let me tell you me and becky are closer than ever...we have been through marriages, births, deaths, family issues and soooo much more together and i can't wait to see what God has up his sleeve for this Beth Moore conference...to get prepared and for other reasons, becky, suggested, no she TOLD me to go buy the book, "Get Out of That Pit"...i am so glad i did...this woman speaks from her heart....she has not had a rosy life herself...we are alot alike...anyway...besides that we will not have any kids...do not misunderstand me...there are no two women on this earth who love their younguns like me and beck...but she has 3 under 6 and i have a pre teen and a teenager...HELLO.....i am so excited i am having trouble sleeping - do you notice that it is midnight....oh well....

i told my co workers that i was going to get some santification...heaven knows i need it....the past few days i have been thinking how i would look in stripes cause i thought i was going to jail a few times....just for your information...i don't look good in stripes....i am round already and i do not need any help looking like a macy's day balloon floating down broadway....

have a great hump day!!!!

thankful thursday night turned into freaky friday but ended as a super saturday.....

ever had one of those days when you should have just stayed in bed...when i got home from work yesterday i had been up since 7 on thursday morning...this begins the finish of thankful thursday i have horrible insomnia and i take medication...but sometimes that just does not work...when i laid down thursday night i told my husband, "it is going to be a long night"...anyway...freaky friday morning's alarm clock went off...it did not bother me...i was already awake...anyway, the day started off good...found out i did not have to work on saturday...oh yeah i was convinced i was the manager on duty for saturday... i did not argue...had lunch with my mom and sis...went back to work....looking like i was going to get to leave early...nope that is when the nursing home became the nut house....remember there was a previous post entitled, "nursing homes are not nut houses" - wish i knew how to do that cute little strike through think becky and hillary do...anyway in a matter of 1.5 hours the following happened...lady went out of the building who should not have...she was only on the porch but she just about whooped my tail trying to get her back in the building...another resident knocked the crap out of another one...and an unplanned discharge of a resident...now some of this may not make much sense to some of you but there are a few who truly understand the craziness of this...i did not leave the building until 6:30 pm...by the time i got home i had been up 35 hours...those of you who have lived with me or worked with me know this is NOT good...i absolutely crashed when i got home...super saturday started with me being awakened by alabama's fight song cause the game was about to begin...the only thing that would have been more beautiful to hear would be rammer jammer...i went into the kitchen to get that sacred first cup of coffee to find....my kitchen was CLEAN....my hubs had cleaned it up...so that explains the title...

thankful thursday

*fall weather
*getting out blankets for the fall and wrapping up with one quilt that my grandmother made*
modern medicine - i have sick children
*patience that i am developing - in other words not going into "reactive mode"
*that my dad is home from his summer job safely
*being able to give back to those who have given me so much
*the mini vacation i have coming up with beck
*some much needed "Jesus" time that I am going to get at the Beth Moore conference
*being able to go buy groceries and concentrate
*my co workers saying, "gin, it is october 1...where is the chocolate"...the little things they remember

In all things give thanks.....

thankful thursday

i have been busier than a one armed paper hanger - ok that may not be a social worky kind of thing to say...but good grief...school, boy scouts, church, family, work and a thousand other things....

here is my thankful thursday...
- i love our church - been a long road
- my kids do not have the flu - bronchitis and mono
- my hubby - he puts up with my craziness
- my family - all of them - the nuts included
- my job - i have a great job and great boss...she has been so patient these past few weeks
- fall weather
- good books
- quiet time that i am going to get this weekend with the family
- that i still have both of my parents - so many of my friends have lost their parents recently
- my sister - i love her dearly
- SEC football - BAMA the most
- that a dear friend of mine was not seriously injured in a wreck last weekend
- for all of my friends
- for my children - they keep me rolling


now for a jacobism -
- he told someone at work that i was so mean i would make madea run

hope everyone has a great weekend...

be careful....

When I was a child I had a sunday school teacher who always said that we must be careful for what we pray for and we must be specific...well I am thinking this is nuts because number one God already knows what we are praying for and number two He knows how much of it we need...well of course this is in the mind of 12 year old girl who is more interested in the cute curly blonde guy sitting in the corner chewing on his pencil...

Well for those of you who know me, those of you who have lost track of me, or for those of you who are getting to know me, you should know now thatGod and I have a very strange relationship...I love Him more than anything in this world...but sometimes I get in his way and I can't do what he has planned for me.....I mess things up REAL good...then I get discouraged and at the end of the day I am like, "OK Lord, I have learned my lesson...I know my tongue is going to get my head cut off...I am not going to say anything out of the way to anybody while I am driving home." This seems to work well for a while until I get to the I20 truck stop and Snowman and Smokey the Bandit decide they have to get to Texarkana before midnight...they pull out in front of me and the words fly....

I don't want to place the blame on genetics, even though my grandmother and father can cuss for 30 minutes and never say the same word twice...

Well last week was a rough week...no matter how you cut it...it just was not a good week...so this morning I wake up with a new attitude. This is going to be a good week...I am feeling better...things are looking up. The day starts off pretty quiet and then around lunch it picks up like the last lap at Talladega. I am in a hurry to get a chart to check some labs. I pull the chart out of the rack, which is the right to put it, and the complete guts of the chart fall all over the floor. Mind you the fan is blowing too...so this is a good mess.. I open my mouth to let some well thought out obscenities fly and there stands the chaplain. He looked at me...I looked at him...I bit my tongue. I don't know that he knew what was going through my head - I really hope he did not. I just sat down in the floor and started putting this chart back together.

So this is what Marlyn meant when she said we must be careful what we pray for and be specific...yes I want temperance and patience but not necessarily today! Thank you God for showing me your might and power right in front of everybody today!

life is but a vapor....

the Bible teaches us that life is but a vapor...so many times we especially myself take that for granted....i think oh i am just 34 years old i have plenty of time left on this earth...or there will always be tomorrow...over the past couple of weeks it has been layed on my heart that we are not promised tomorrow and that things can change in a blink of an eye...two weeks ago i buried a sweet friend of mine who was like a niece to me...yes she had fought cancer for 14 years but she was only 19 years old...in a moment her life and her family's life changed forever...this young lady did not like to be told that she was an "inspiration"...she would say "what choice did i have?" but she was an encouragment...she was a light to this dark world...she was always concerned for others....i also buried a dear friend of mine that i went to high school with...his death was very unexpected...he left a family behind and so many friends....he was ever the practical joker and could always make you smile....this past friday night our head football coach who was one of my teachers when i was in school died suddenly of a massive heart attack...he got to feeling bad during the game...ambulance took him to the hospital but before he got there he died...i used to go to church with coach...he would practice the boys until 6 on wednesday night bring them to church in his truck...stinking to the high heavens...he did not smell that good either...they would eat dinner at church and then go to class...he was a Christian first and a coach second...he lived the talk everyday....he was only 48 years old...the older i get the younger that seems...he was the only dad some of these kids have ever had...it is just really sad that such positive people's lives are cut short...and yesterday we buried a fine Christian man who helped build the church where i grew up...quiet but strong...he left a grandson who loved him so much...he is beside himself and sad...but we know that they are in heaven with the other angelsmy hope is that i can remember that we are not promised tomorrow...

life is good....

i am so blessed...i am so excited...i have had a pretty rough week with just various work related junk...but i have a job...anyway...had i known that things were going to work out the way have this week i could be sitting in atlanta, ga, with some girlfriends at the women of faith conference...but you see God knows so much more than i do...one of my favorite sisters...becky...called me and said, do you remember talking about going to see beth moore in memphis, tn, in october...i said yes...she says would you still like to go...i said yes...i don't know what changed and i am not asking any questions, but me and my "siesta" are booked to go see her, booked at the holiday inn and are ready for a road trip....we were college roommates...we met one night and became roommates the same night...i know beck is reading this but i must tell everyone if you need someone to pray for you or just get you straight beck is the one...she has been my rock through so many things...now don't get me wrong..all of my other "siestas" are special too...in your own way...becky is special to me just as you all are....i am in need of some God time, some beck time and some rejuvination time...i think that is a word....and to top it off...

i have tickets to the university of alabama homecoming game against south carolina...life is good....

i need deoderant....

ok so we are all in the back to school swing of things....we were at walmart sunday night battling the gangs of people in pell city....yes i said gangs...i really think they would fit in nicely on some street in la...anyway...my son, aka opie, says, "mom, i need to tell you something"...that sounds innocent enough..he says, "i need some deoderant"...ok, he is 10 years old, so i was not totally caught off guard...it was the next statement that got me, "i want dad to help me"...i have been bumped..,dethroned...ok...so i suck it up and say ok...so i tell my hubby the situation...he lovingly takes opie to the "smell good" aisle...by the time we left walmart we had every flavor of axe product you can think of...as my dad would say, "he was going to smell like a siagon street walker"....ok so anyway we buy the products and go home...

i was not prepared for the next series of events...we get home and opie says, "i am ready to take my shower"...please remember this is my own personal pigpen...you know the character from peanuts...i said, "excuse me"..."yes i am ready to take my shower...tomorrow is the first day of school and i have to smell good for dana"...now dana is a little girl that he has been infatuated with for a couple of years...ok...so we get the shower and we get "axed" up... he gets out of the shower and is so excited...he wants me to smell him...oh he smelled so good...do you know how long it has been since my little boy smelled good...yes we bathe him but he has had this "male smell" for about a year...

so the first day of school went off without a hitch...he came home to tell me that he "almost caught that fish" referring to dana...after i explained to him how ladies do not like to be called names..he informed me that he needs to take a shower in the morning so that he "is fresh"...i thought i would fall in the floor...sure enough he geets up tuesday morning and takes a shower and gets all "axed up" again...he comes home to tell me, "momma, i caught that fish today"...of course i laughed but again reminded him how ladies do not like to be referred to as animals...so he is now convinced that if he smells good then dana will forever be his girl....now for the finale....

last night i asked him, "jacob, did you ask dana to go with you?" he says, "go where?" there you go folks modern day mayberry with a real live opie...

happy anniversary to us....

12 years ago today i was married to the most wonderful man left on the face of the earth...now for those of you who don't know the story here it is...we met on a blind date...the first words out of his mouth were, "i have been married once and i am not going down that road again." that was in january, we were engaged in february and married in august - all of the same year...i suddenly was a wife and a mother to a beautiful little girl named jamie...truth be known i fell in love with her before i fell in love with her dad....we have been through alot in 12 years...we have had a little boy who keeps us on our toes, we have watched our beautiful daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady, we have made so many memories together....words can never describe the joy that stephen has brought to me nor how much he has taught me...he has not knocked my teeth out for my smart mouth...he lets me do whatever i want...he supports me in every hairbrained idea i have...i hope that he loves me as much as i love him...i hope we have many many more years together...i love you stephen....

it does not get better than this....

i guess me posting on blogspot and facebook is redundent...but some of the people who answer or follow my blog are not on facebook and vice versa...with that said i feel a bit abandoned...several people who read facebook answer or comment on my notes but i feel like i have stalkers on blogspot with no commenters...ok maybe i don't have anything better to do....or think about it...so my strategy is to see how many people i can make jealous once i tell how wonderful of a day i had today....ok i know that is not a real Christian thing to do but a woman is forced to take drastic measures....so here goes...

i worked 2 hours today and got paid for a whole day...now i worked saturday as manager on duty but i had to leave early because of children but anyway...i worked 2 hours this morning and went to the doctor...now not a great visit but i did find out why my shoulder hurts...i have torn my labrum which is the tissue that anchors the tendons and ligaments in place as well as keeping your shoulder in the socket...please do not ask me how i did it because it is VERY stupid....probably going to have to have surgery but oh well that is not new for me...now on to the good stuff...

i went to have lunch with a very good looking man...i asked him not to tell his wife and he asked that i not tell my husband...mmmmm they are the same people...lol.....then i went to the galleria and did some school shopping....got my nails done...something i don't ever do...came home and my hubby...that same guy i had lunch with...cooked supper....chicken fettucini alfredo....it was delicious....it has been a good day....no it has been a great day.....

it's over till next year!!!!!

whew!!!! i have survived another state survey! it is over thank goodness....it has been a long week...they finally left the building about 9pm on thursday night...we finished with 7 tags and we are going to dispute one of them...one of the tags i totally disagree with, but i am not going to discuss that...we did not get any "F" tags...this is HUGE....the good thing is that because they stay so long and there is down time for those of us who are not on the firing line...i was able to get caught up on alot of paperwork, filing and such that has been piling up on my desk...of course then it was my turn to be on the firing line...we have a new administrator who is AWESOME...bless her heart....her first full week on the job and the state walks in the building...i have high hopes for us and i think we are a great LIVING CENTER....i feel like i have the potential to grow both personally and professionally...i am super excited...i have been down and doubtful over the past couple of months but i am refreshed now...hope everyone has a great week!!!!!

2 down 1 to go...

sorry i have been mia for a while...it has been a crazy crazy couple of weeks...i have been so busy at work sometimes i have to remind myself to go to the bathroom...ok maybe tmi but that is the truth...i am much happier now...we have a new administrator who seems to be a big team player and does not criticize everything we do...we have gone through alot of changes lately....i know this may bore some of you to tears, but maybe it will make someone kind of understand what i do...

i was asked to go work in another building two days a week...this was in march...this was one of our sister facilities that was having problems...i might add it was pretty cool that the director of operations specifically asked for me....ok i know i should not brag but it made me feel good...so i went on march 17 and about 2 hours later the state walked in at that building...so i survive that survey...then the social worker at that building quit as well as their administrator....so my administrator from pell city was asked to go to boaz - "temporarily"...

so kim and i are in boaz and trying to hire a sw with half a brain...we finally get that accomplished and guess what...state comes back...this time it is for the annual survey...can you say big kahuna...so i go through all this again...new social worker did not start until after survey - remember she has no long term care experience so i have to start at scratch to train her...it is very hard to find social workers who have long term care experience...for some reason people think the elderly are ooey gooey stinky or something.....

so then may 19th rolls around when i decided it would be fun to pass out at work...this begins my whole medical drama...so i finally go back to work on july 1 to find out that kim is not coming back to pell city....so we have this interim administrator that i am not even going to discuss...let's just say we did not gee haw...i was disappointed that kim did not come back...but things work out the way they are intended to....so we had an interim administrator for about three months....those were very trying three months...finally they hired a permanent administrator...

now if you are still reading you are a dear friend or you are just bored and have nothing better to do...

so now that you are up to speed - like you really cared - this week is her second week officially on the job; however, today was her 5th day in the building....so on tuesday morning the state walked in for our annual survey and she had been in our building for a grand total of three days...but i work for a great company and they sent in the calvary...i think survey is going well...it is just long days...i think our new administrator is the breath of fresh air we have been looking for and needing...the coolest thing about it is that she is a preceptor for the administrator in training program through the alabama nursing home association...so what does that mean...that means that she is going to help me get my administrator's license....i am so excited...

so these surveyors have left at about 6 or 630 each night...they are not staying as late as the ones in boaz did...can you say 11 pm and i had an hour drive home...anyway tomorrow is the last day barring any major catastrophies....and we will be done for another year.....yeah....thanks for reading....

to my son - i love you

it is hard for me to believe that you are 10 years old...you will be starting the 5th grade this year...you are a miracle for me...i was told i would never have children and if i did it could be harmful to me...well guess what..God gave me you...i knew from the very first weeks that you would be a boy...i knew your name would be jacob...i never picked out a girl name...when i would go to the grocery store i would tell your daddy, "me and jacob are going to the store"...or if i was going to take a bath i would say, "me and jacob are going to take a bath.."or if i was going to bed, "daddy, me and jacob are going to bed..."of course there was the time when i was pregnant with you that my back hurt really bad and i thought a hot bath would be nice...well your fat momma got stuck in the bathtub...this is not a lie...it truly happened...

when you were born, it was LONG day...your Aubie paced the hallway, my epidural would not take...they kept telling me i was having "ligament pains"..i never understood why they would not let me see you...they let me touch you for a brief moment...they whisked you away to nicu...you were not breathing and your lungs were full of fluid...i thought that i was going to lose you...i cried...i did not want anything to be wrong with you...i did not get to see you again until the next day...dad did not warn me that they had put an iv in your head...so i walk in and there is my little boy with needles in his head...needless to say i had the docs cornered like a rabid dog...the docs told us your lungs were under developed and you would always be sick...boy if they could see you now...

you are so smart, funny, witty and everything i could ever hope for in a boy...like when your teacher wanted you to read for fluency and you said, "i can read...you can read...what's the point?"...or when you told the preacher that, "me and poppa are going to drink coffee and chase women"...or walking out of the bathroom swinging your sister's underclothes from your light saber...there is never a dull moment with you in my life...i love you so much...i hope you have many more happy birthdays...

a quick trip to the beach....

we have been trying all summer to go to the beach...so we just said forget planning...let's go...so we left on friday to go to pensacola...our favorite place...we have had so much fun..stephen took jacob fishing today off of the pensacola pier...jacob caught three big fish but only landed one...it was a spanish mackrel..the other two were so big his line broke both times..the coolest thing though was we saw a sea turtle in the gulf...it was huge..it weighed at least 300 pounds...we could not get a picture because it came up quickly and then went back down pluse it was at sunset...pic may not have developed...anyway...it was cool...something we all saw...here are some pics.. my sweet angel girl

me and my hubby

sunset at pensacola...most beautiful one ever

my sweet demons i mean angels

look what i caught

not sure what we were doing but the expressions are priceless...

sand angel

my diva...

this was the most still he was the whole trip

the way i spent my first day off....

this should be of great enjoyment to anyone who reads this...i woke up this morning to no water...now before i go any further...you must understand that we have more utility problems than the common citizen...we have a power company whose CEO is Mickey Mouse (we have lost power 6 times this summer - all were transformers that had been hit by lightening) ...we have a phone company that is run by The Wiggles (if anything wiggles in the atmosphere the phone and internet go out) and our local water department is run by Barney Fife...(if you should have a water problem good luck getting anyone out here to look out...and if they come out then they pull up in the yard honk the horn and holler "what's the problem?" to which i have responded numerous times, "that is what i called you for!" ok so on to the story...so i call the water department...this is the conversation...lincoln water department...yes has anyone reported a water problem off of ridge drive...no...well we have no water...no one has called and if it was our problem we would have received more calls...well i still don't have water...have you checked your pressure regulator...no what is that...a mechanism on your turn on / off valve...no...well you need to go check it before you call us...so you are not going to send anyone out to check it...i did not say we were not going to send anyone out but you still need to check your pressure regulator...

ok so by this time i am furious...i go outside to see if i can find the on/off valve to check this infamous pressure regulator...like i really know what i am looking for...only to discover my yard is full of water and continues to pour out from under the house like niagra falls...ok so at this point it is not the pressure regulator nor is it the water department's problem...so i have to call them back to tell them not to send anyone out...yes this was embarrassing but let the fact remain they were ugly....so i tell them it appears to be a broken pipe...hang up the phone...go out to again find this valve...find it and cut if off...

so i call the plumber we have used before...no return call...called another guy that i went to high school with...no return phone call and then i hear someone honking in the yard...i go to the door to find the local water department...they roll their window down and say "what's the problem?" I tell them that i called and told them not to send anyone out...well the other genius in the truck says, "There is your problem water is coming out from under your house." i wanted to say, "really sherlock" honestly, there were other thoughts that were going through my mind...

so they leave and i call a third plumbing company...they will get all of my future business...why because they called me back and had someone out here within 2 hours...you would think as tight as money is right now people would do a better job at customer service...so these two guys come out who looked like i needed to make them sit down and do their homework and fix them some cookies and kool aid....come out in the rain...they come in to tell me that a pipe had come loose under the house and the reason it did was because it looked like it had been repaired before but whoever repaired it only glued one side...that person would be the plumber we had used before...note to self...don't use him again...anyway they got it fixed and i have water....

i don't do domestic problems well...if you really want to see me mad let a "machine" break...such as no air conditioning...car problems..dishwasher...now let's add water...i deal with personal emotional problems not machines...

so hopefully the rest of my time off will be spent relaxing while we are at the beach...we leave in the morning...i am so excited...just to get away....

secrets revealed....

many of my dear loyal readers have been asking about my new "food plan"...so here it is...i was told in may that if i did not lose 100 pounds i would be dead in five years from cirrhosis...this is due to the fact that my liver is "excessively fat due to diabetes." the doctors suggested to have a "forced weight loss" by having lap band surgery...for those of you who know me you know that i do not do well with pain meds or anesthesia...i like to quit breathing...well the other night i was at books a million looking at the clearance rack...i have a love affair with clearance...anyway i found "dr. phil's ultimate weight loss solutions" book and food guide for $3.97!!!!! i was so pumped...i love dr phil cause he just puts it out there...thing is people are accepting of him when he does it but when i put it out there it does not go over so well...oh well!!! anyway so i begin reading the self help book...it is so good and sensible...he has very good points...he has it broken down into seven keys...he is adament that you do not skip forward...he equates going through this program like a college course...follow the syllabus...anyway...my favorite thing so far is that he said if "you eat something that slides down your throat it will slide on to your butt"...his piont is that you need to eat foods that you actually have to chew and work for...raw veggies for example...then there is the food guide that has the menus made out for you...now if you are like me...if you are told what to eat and how much you will do it...i fail when i have to come up with things to cook...i will post some of the menus over the weekend...so then he talks about water, water, water, ....i drink one cup of coffee in the morning and the rest of the day is water...he does say it is okay to put some of the sugar free kool aid packs in the water....on in the self help book he actually has behavioral audits...this shows you what triggers you to eat...like for me...it is at night because i am bored...i work all day and don't slow down to eat but because i am so tired when i get home i don't feel like doing anything else...

with all of this said, i have lost 25 pounds since june 1 and am walking 1 - 2 miles a day...i am very focused...the other key is that i have put my family pretty much on their own...they are not on board with me with this plan so they can find something to eat on their own...i should say my daughter wants to do it with me but she has been out of town...

when i hit 30 pounds i am going to put before and after pics on here...if you have any more questions, please let me know...this is the best plan i have ever done....

why is it...

let me forwarn you that this may turn out to be a rant about a couple of things...i have wanted for a long time to say the things that i am about to say...i may hurt a few people's feelings and i may just tick some people off...but i have to say this...why is it that every religion thinks their religion is the best...work with me here...for years the church of christ has been stereotyped of "you are the ones who don't have music"..yes we do we sing every time the doors are open...or "you think you are the only ones going to heaven" well unfortunately there are few of them who do truly believe that...all i have to say to that is glad you are making God's decisions...or "yall believe that you got to go all the way under the water to be saved"...well Jesus did so why don't you...He was immersed you know...that came straight from the good book...or "yall are the ones who take the Lord's Supper every Sunday"...why yes we do...anywho...on we shall go with the churches i have run into who have resorted to calling other common denominations "occults", or those who will not let you partake of the Lord's Supper, if it should be on that one particular sunday of the quarter, unless you are a member of that church, or to those churches that have a committee for forming committees...or those churches who have human leaders that they equate to the good Lord Almighty...or those who feel it is ok to drink like a fish during the week and don't mind buying their case of beer at walmart on saturday so they can drink it after the sermon on sunday...here is the bottom line...I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT GOD...IF IT IS WRITTEN HE HAS TOLD YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW...IF WE SPENT HALF THE TIME WE SPEND ON FINDING FAULTS WITH OTHERS ON STUDYING THE WORD OF GOD...I WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION....AND THIS GOES FOR ME TOO!

here is the scoop...

first of all i want to thank everyone for all the prayers that were sent up for me during this long illness...i truly felt the prayers everyday...my favorite part is that my dear friend miranda sent out emails to our high school classmates asking for prayer and to give them an update on my condition...it was very hard for me to ask people for help....i don't like to ask for anything....you do not realize how much you can't do for yourself until you are faced with it...so here is the scoop...after three hospitalizations since may 19, deciding to quit breathing and having my pj's cut off of me in front of my mother, and being told i had a broken rib, i underwent an ercp which revealed the problem...my pancreatic duct was 1/4 the size it should have been so the doc put a stint in place and my duodenum was 95% blocked...both of these were full of gallstones...the doc said that when he drained both of these it looked like what comes out of a car after you change the oil...YUCK..he said that no food could go down or come up hence the reason i was in so much pain...basically the food had been sitting there for over a month...doc said, "it was gross"...i am doing better...have gone back to work...am learning to take care of me rather than pleasing everyone else...for example, this was my first week back at work and on friday morning i woke up sick, we will not go into the details, i did not go to work...no second thoughts, no going in late, no feeling guilty, i did not go to work...i rested all day...still not feeling great...but i am alive....we are now looking at lap band surgery...i was told my dear doctor who i trust with my life...told me that i would be dead within five years of cirrhosis if i did not have lap band surgery to reverse the fatty liver...so here is the deal...i did not have fatty liver in september...but we have linked the fatty liver to the new insulin that i started in september...it is a LONG story....but anyway, i will have a liver biopsy when i have the lapband surgery....but most importantly...THANK YOU for all the prayers, cards, visits, food and everything else....love to you all.....

who is betty crocker.....

i have recently ordered this easy bake bundt cake pan...it is totally AWESOME...it is made of some sort of plastic and it cooks in the oven on the rack up to 450 degrees...so here is the process and the end result...granted i know the cake is not beautifully iced...but hey those of you who know me know that this is a major accomplishment.....

i am not as dumb as i look....

many of you know that my one thing in life that frustrates me more than anything else is my HOUSE!!! Lord knows i try to work, raise kids, raise my husband, go to church and be the superwoman that i want to be...but my house is usually the last on the list - i let it slide because i tell myself that nobody ever comes to my house because i live so far out in the woods....anyway, my daughter finished her junior year and she has never had to work any type of job or anything...momma and daddy have always given her what she wanted...well i told her she could either get a job at a fast food resturant or be my maid...to my surprise she chose to be my maid...now i am blessed in the fact that jamie is very good at cleaning...she is quick and thorough...so instead of worrying myself to death over the house...she is my maid and she gets paid...now we are not talking about washing the dishes...we are talking deep cleaning...this first week has been awesome...i will post pictures as soon as i can...with me being sick over the past couple of weeks, this has allowed me to heal much quicker...hope everyone has a great weekend....

boys were born on mars.....

ok gang, if i could have burned my son's room down without burning the rest of the house i would have...it was so bad that i am utterly ashamed to even have a before and after picture...what got me inspired was a blog that i found, i think on becky's blog, about a tour of children's rooms and nurseries...so we jumped into cleaning up his room for the millionth time....actually my great and wonderful husband headed up this adventure...anyway, when it was done jacob came to me and said, "i am never messing my room up again...daddy has broke me"...ok that was funny...but that is not the best part....my children have chores for the summer...one of jacob's chores this summer is to make his bed everyday...now i am not a stickler for stuff but i am trying to show jacob that it is alot of hard work to keep a space clean...so anyway, i went into his room and helped him make up his bed so that he would know what i expected when i came home from work everyday...so the bed is made...it is so pretty and he wants to put his spiderman blanket at the end of this bed...ok...innocent enough huh...well i get up this morning to check on him..and what did i find????? jacob is asleep under spiderman and on top of his made bed from last night....i am telling you that the male species is weird...but we love them anyway.....

where do we go from here?

this is a question i have been asking myself for several days ...especially while laying in icu...i have alot of decisions to make on many levels in the next few weeks...i ask that you all pray for me to make the right decisions for my physical health and more importantly my spiritual health...i am so happy to be back in the land of the living...however i have a ways to go...here is the reader's digest condensed version of what has been going on over the past two weeks...on may 20th, i passed out at work...had not been feeling great but hey you got to keep working right...bp was sky high and pulse was in the 150 range...well they send me to the hospital via ambulance...yeah.....and i stayed in the er for four hours to be told that i had an asthma attack...the kicker is that i don't have asthma...did i mention that they stuck me 8 times to get an iv, two failed arterial sticks for abg's and then a femoral artery stick...omg...it hurt...anyway they sent me home...wednesday i went back to my regular doctor who decided to put me in the hospital and see what was going on cause now i had blood in my urine and lots of other stuff...so we go to the hospital, get a picc line, some iv antibiotics and pain meds...cause you see my back is killing me but i am also having upper left quadrant pain...i did ok for wed and thurs night but friday night was a different story...evidently...my respiratory system gave in to the pain meds i was on and i quit breathing...all i know is that i woke up in icu with everyone standing over me screaming at me...i was on oxygen for several days...puked my guts out for about six hours...it was horrible...while in icu we did several more tests including three ct scans...these revealed that i have severe fatty liver disease...what does this mean you may ask...well your liver processes everything in your body...well i am diabetic so my body does not use the insulin that i produce...what littile it is...so i inject myself with insulin...my body uses what it can and the rest of it is stored in my liver and turns to fat...therefore, it is a relentless cycle that my body goes through when trying to lose weight, manage diabetes and everything else...so prolonged fatty liver disease will cause cirrhosis...i thought that was only for drunks...anyway...so my doc...who is absolutely wonderful might i add...told me that if we did not get a handle on this now...i would be dead in five years of cirrhosis...hello...did you wake up cause i sure did...so his solution is for me to have a liver biopsy to make sure there is nothing else going on and then have lap band surgery...he states that if lose 100 or so pounds then the fatty liver can be reversed...for many reasons...one the forced weight loss will require me to use less insulin and the weight loss in and of it self will help...i am not one to be easily defeated but i have tried numerous times to lose weight and it only gets worse because various factors...so that is the long and short of where i have been...please keep me and my family in your prayers as we go through this journey together...also pray that i will be able to keep my job...we all know that jobs are few and far between right now....

where oh where have i been?

let's see...it seems like i have been around the world in not 80 days but maybe 14...it has been a whirlwind...i am still working in boaz two days a week...in pell city three days a week...oh i'm sorry make that the other 5 days of the week - yes that includes weekends...i am tired and oh so weary...ok enough of that...

it has been busy...stephen has had viral pink eye...my aunt had brain surgery again...kids have been sick with everyday crud....jamie went to a friend's house and had a run in with a scooter and an incline...guess who won...i am tired or rain and thunder...oh and did i mention that some days we have power and some days we don't...

but the best part of the past two weeks? i should put this on a blog of its own, but my team at golden living raised over $800 for relay for life...it was GREAT...and i got to have dinner with some of my closest friends from high school last night at top of the river...some of them i had not seen in 15 years...it was great...

i guess i should quit fussing and whining because i am alive, my child is cancer free and i have a job....

blogging is therapeutic...