BASSakward Tales

ramblings....

2012-03-11T20:55:00.002-07:00

So as you have probably noticed I am not an everyday blogger. I think I live a pretty mundane life so I don't think I need to bother others with it. However, some pretty exciting things have been happening around here. Now don't get your hopes up - we did not win the lottery or some nonsense like that. Let's see -

1. I have new front door steps with decorative handrails built by my husband and son.
2. I am getting the yard ready for its first trim of the season by Vinney.
3. My hubs bought me a computer so that when I go to Ft. Lauderdale, I will have full access to what is going on at my fingertips.
4. I am feeling better. I have a few things still going on but we are tackling them as they come.
5. I have a new pile of books to read. That always makes me feel happy.
6. Still struggling spiritually, but God is really working on that.
7.Had a family surprise that I can't talk about at this moment.
8. My grandmother's birthday just passed - she would have been 90 years old.
9. I found a used book store in Trussville and I am in heaven.
10. I am getting real excited bc I have a bunch of travel plans coming up for the summer - Auburn, Savannah, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Disney and possibly a cruise.

I know this is boring, but this is what is going on in my world. How about your world - is it busy too?

I'm mad, confused and ticked....

2012-02-28T09:57:00.002-08:00

Any questions? Glad you asked! OK so I am settling into this new skin of staying at home and not running the rat race of life. It is getting easier, but some things are getting harder. For example, ashamedly, I have been the "career woman" for so long, I lose patience with people who don't do what I tell them to do, i.e. my son. It is a nightly battle with homework. That is all I am going to say about that.

Confused...I don't know where to start in shoveling out this house. Yall I am perfectly serious when I say, I am about to get one of those big dumpsters and put in my yard and just start chunking stuff. I am totally disgusted. I want to rearrange my kitchen but I can't. I physically can't. I don't want anyone to help me cause I want to do it. Do you know how mad it makes me when I realize I CAN'T do something. Oh it is not pretty. I want to rip out the carpet in my son's bedroom and put down plywood if I had my way, but I will settle for cheap flooring. I promise you there is a Pulitzer prize winning science experiment and cure in his carpet.

Ticked - at the whole healthcare system...I cannot even begin to explain why I am so mad. It is a LONG drawn out story, but it is about to work my last nerve. Whatever happened to taking care of your patient? Not, am I going to get paid for that, how much money will I charge to sign a paper, oh it will be two weeks before your blood work is back but I am going to give you medicine for seven days...need I go on? I have significant health problems that have to be dealt with on a DAILY sometimes minute by minute basis. If I knew all the answers and knew what to do I would not be coming or calling you now would I? I have some dear friends who work in all areas of medicine, doctors, nurses, social workers, medical records, etc. I hope I don't make you made by this rant bc I am not talking about YOU! I am talking about that other half a million out there.

I am doing realitivly well but I am just aggravated beyond words right now...Maybe my next post will be inspiring...let's hope.

Times are a changing'

2012-01-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a long time since I have posted, which means that alot has changed. From my last post, we all read that I quit, that is walked out, on a social work job that could have easily caused me my license. I have never done that before. Anyway, about a year ago, I told my momma and sister that if I ever had to leave another job because of my health I would throw my social work hat in for a while. Well, I am one to keep my word, and it has been officially thrown in for paid positions. I am Still involved in social work organizations and causes. I have just completed a record 17 day hospital stay because of my diabetes. However, in the process, I have found two awesome doctors- one endocrinologist and one internist.

It has been very hard on me to adjust to the non working life. Many people would say oh I would love that! I have never NOT worked. From the time I was 14 I worked. I cut grass for a doctor who lived across the street, I babysat for a family of four and then I worked fast food all through high school. When I went to college the first time, I did telemarketing for satellite dishes while smelling dog food being made across the street and worked third shift in the ER and went to school in the day. When I got married, I worked a full time job, two part time jobs and went to school at night full time. Did I mention I had two kids? So as you see I am not accustomed to being still.

Now the problem is that I can't get motivated. I think the reason is that I am being "told" by my doctors that I must "stop" working for my own health. I do not, I repeat, do no like pbeing told what to do. June was a year ago that I filed for disability. Again something I did not want to do, but I was instructed to do so. I was denied. So I sought out an attorney. I finally have my hearing the 31st of this month. I do not look down on people who are on disability. It is not my place to determine if they need it or not. But when it comes to me, I am not supposed to be on disability. This is not what God has planned out for me. I have spent my life helping people in various ways. I don't like asking people for help and I don't accept help very well.

So with all that said, can you tell that times will be a changin? I am fighting severe depression, lack of self worth, moments where I just break down and cry and days where I don't get out of the bed. However, due to the fact that I have awesome friends and family, some that I have never met in person, I am going to get through this. I have a cousin I have never met before pray for me and with me over the phone. Can I tell you that I slept like a baby that night! I felt the weight of that day was gone.

Today has been a better day. I am thankful for that. I pray for brighter and happier days. In closing, if you have ever experienced any of what I am going through, please share with me. It will definitely help me and it might just help you. I want to become that carefree, goofy, funny, fun loving person I used to be. My husband told me I needed to find "Ginny" before social work. He said that social work is not who I am, but what I did. Pretty smart fellow huh?

Love to all.....

so that didn't work

2011-11-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

what was i thinking....when a dozen people tell you that you should not take a job...please listen because they evidently know something that you don't know....i am unemployed by the grace of God right now...I am happy to be out of that hell hole that will remain anonymous....why did i ever think that a social worker...a lowly social worker could change anything...why did i go and put my heart into something that was already having a coronary itself....those of you who know me and where i have been are shaking your heads yes and probably laughing at me...so anyway....i have realized that i have done just about all that i want to do as a social worker...i have a few things on my bucket list to do, but being the highest paid lbsw is not one of them anymore...just saying....like a brick fell on my head and i realized it is not the money i need it is the satisfaction that i held someone's hand today, i wiped a tear, i made someone smile with some goofy thing i said, i held the hand of a daughter who was watching her mother die, i called the priest for a man that was having alot of problems....that is what i need....my reward will come later....if my mouth will just stay shut....

love to all....

The Run Down...

2011-09-25T17:31:00.001-07:00

It seems like ages since I updated my blog. So much has gone on. Let's see if I can break it down.

*fellow social worker quit 2 weeks after I started - am I really that hard to work with?
*had the whole building to myself
*daughter has started second semester of college
*son is in 7th grade
*busier than a one armed paper hanger
*Stephen's mom passed away
*I ended up in ICU...
*got new social worker
*company has been sold....that was a surprise
*attended my husband's 25th high school class reunion

That is all I can think of right now!

It has been a busy time in my life, but I am very blessed. This is the biggest learning curve, at work, that I have ever had. It has been some stressful times, and I have thought about giving up. But, those that know me, know that I don't give up easily. A friend of mine told me that in the Catholic religion, that if you name the person who you are praying for it gives the prayer more power. I don't know, but I will tell you since my melt down last week, I have been naming names in my prayers. You see, I had to come to realize that God is BIGGER than any company I work for, any supervisor or anybody. So that may sound silly that I had to realize that, but maybe it was just that I needed a reminder.

I have a beautiful view out of my window at work. The building I work at is on top of a mountain. So the day I had the meltdown, I opened the window and just let the fresh air blow in my face. I looked down the mountain at God's creation. I literally prayed for God to put His hand a little tighter over my mouth! No joke...true story!

I have prayed everyday since then, and my oh my how that changes things. I have always struggled with my prayer life, but I still work on it. I fail miserably everyday at being the Christian that God wants me to be. But I can tell you, that I try very hard.

My job is very stressful. There is no set routine. Things change from minute to minute, but I still feel that I do what God called me to do. A friend of mine told me not long ago that not only does God open a door when another one closes, He is on both sides of the door to start with. I really had to think about that one!

So that is what life has dealt me in the last few weeks...I do have some funny stories to post, but that will have to come at a later time.

Love to all,

who wants to catch up?

2011-08-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy it is unreal. If my kids played sports or such I think I would crazy. We have all of Jacob's stuff bought for school - supplies and clothes. This is all thanks to my sister...Lib. She did an awesome job. This took alot off of me.

I started a new job. It has been wild. Their paperwork is so totally different than anything I have ever seen, but I am learning. Everybody is helpful witht he exception of a few. We did have the other SW quit...long story. It was an event in the making. I really like my office - it has a bathroom in it!

Jamie is about to start her second semester of her Freshman year. She had a gotten a job at the local grocery store. That did not go well. That is another story. Anyway, Stephen and I have employed her as our "maid." We had to have a re education in what deep cleaning meant, but she is doing great. Jacob has chores of his own. They both get an allowance for their chores. I am very proud of both of them.

Had a wonderful church service Sunday? He asked 10 questions about being a Christian. Some of them I looked at him like he was crazy, but it all made sense in the end. When I get the outline, I plan to post it on here. I had wanted to go to each night of the revival, but work had another plan for me.

I have reconnected with an old friend that I grew up with - Rebecca Bradley. I am sooooo excited. I have missed her over the years, and I am so glad she is back in my life.

That is about all that has happened this week. I plan to have a busy weekend. So I will have another post later. What have you done this week? Love to all....

have you ever....

2011-08-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

have you ever just felt lost...i really can't pinpoint why, but i am right now. it makes me very sad. i am not depressed, i love my job, things are good at home for the most part...

i guess i am feeling more unappreciated than anything. i have done some pretty enormous things lately for some people in my family and got not even a thank you. now before you say it, i did not do these things for praise, but is it me or is thank you just common sense....

i feel detached from something and i am not going to mention what it is...i will tell you it is NOT God...because without HIM i would be at the bar drunk....:) i am missing some friends that live far away...i want to book a hotel room, wiggle my nose and they all be there....i feel like no one ever calls me...i have to call them to chat and then i feel like i am interrupting their day...am i being obnoxious and pms - ing even though i don't do that anymore...

i am seriously just lost...why can't it be like it used to be...

Have you ever....

2011-07-30T20:14:00.001-07:00

Have you ever felt so bad physically and emotionally but then feel guility because you know there are others who are worse off than you? That is where I have been lately. I am one of the most blessed women on the face of the Earth. Some people don't understand how our family works but we do. We are all healthy and happy for the most part. But sometimes I just get to feeling sad and all I want to do is cry. I miss people. I get disgusted at work. I get tired of the corporate latter. But yet I want to work. I want to be that parent that is at church with clean little children and husband in tow. I want to be that person who always remembers everyone's birthdays and baby showers. I want to be that mom that that teachers don't dread see coming. I want all of this but don't know how to get it. I want to host parties, I want a pretty yard. Is this all too much to want? Is this what they call a Gold Digger?

It's a wrap.....

2011-07-22T01:42:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since we last spoke. I am not one of those gifted writers who can just type out some hilarious, thought provoking, inspirational post,i.e. Becky, Karen, Dana.....just sayin....

Anyway, thing have been pretty quiet around here, but I expect that to chane since I said the Q word. Jamie is still working at the grocery store and getting good hours. She got registered for her 2nd semester - survey of the New Testament, Intro to Sociology, English 101 (again b/c she had a psychotic teacher) and ie intermediate Algebra, which she totally rocked Algebra 100 last semester. She has changed her major to Computer Information Systems with an emphasis in graphic design. Very proud of her. Oh and did I mention she bought her brother a birthday present out of her own money without being reminded.

Jacob is growing way too fast. He is about to be 12 years old and starting the 7th grade. I don't know if I am ready for that, but I really don't have a say in that either. He has played so much this summer. What is it about boys and that smell they put off? We call it "male smell". He smells like a locker toom everyday. He has really slimmed down a lot. His reading is coming along very nicely. I don't think his teachers will think so, but what do they know. We are having a pool party for him on Saturday at my aunt's house.

I have started my new job. The jury is still out on that one. I have been doing this for 15 years and have never seen quite the arrangement that is going on. Folks don't know how to talk to each other - like almost screaming. They are very immature. Now if they start that with me, well yall know where that is headed - south - quickly. They are very unorganized. I knew going into the job there were problems, but it looks like to me that most of it is the employees. If you have employees who know how to act and will do their job then you don't have probkems. On another note, we had a health scare. To make a very long story short, I went to work Monday and just did not feel good. I had not felt good since Friday. Anyway, my heart was beating at 145 and my blood pressure was 145/110. Nobody asked me any questions, she called the ambulance and off to Gadsden Regional I went. Come to find out I was septic from pyelonephritis, had a bladder infection and slight pnemonia. They wheeled me right on up to MICU where I stayed for 4 days there on a dopamine drip and 3 days in a regular room. You all know I am not a good patient, but I must have behaved bc they were still talking to me when I left. I only had one problem while there and it was with a doctor. When he was putting my central line in, he kept telling me how fat I was. I had just bout had enough of this and d rei politely told him that I have a mirror and am quite aware of my size. You all know there was some colorful conversation that followed. Anyway, other tanat.

Daughter has just told me her car is "scrubbin and it did not steer well". This is a big old sad face. I guess that will be vacation money or a great portion of it. But I would rather have my dauhter a safe car than laying on the beach, although that sounds more applelaing

Stephen is doing well.He just work like trojan horse. He has been there 14 years come September. I am very proud of him.He gets to work from home 2 days a week, for putting up with me which is a full time job.

Well that is a wrap for the lfe and times of the Bassakward family. If you finished reading this, then you a true fried! Love to all

It's been a while...

2011-07-03T05:46:00.001-07:00

we have been so busy in this season called summer where you are supposed to relax. ha...that's for the birds. Work is going good and I am about to go to work at a nursing home in Bham. They pay a whole bunch more than this part time consulting work i am doing.

very excited - i got $590 worth of clothes yesterday for $254 and that included tax. I will be a sharp dressed lady at work. Now just to go buy shoes and jewelry.

Jamie got a job! Thank you to Man upstairs. She is working at a loca grocery store. She has done really well about setting her alarm clock and getting up. You know she is the princess. She finished the first semester with an A - Algebra, B - Biology, B Speech and B Pyschology. I was very proud of her. She has changed her major to CIS and will focus on web desing and graphics.

I am working on an article that I will submit to "Social Work Today" about skilled nursing facilities. I don't have a title yet. When I finish it and it is ready to be submitted I will post it. I know not everyone gets "Social Work Today" so there you will have it

I am still doing great. If I could only sleep I would be perfect. It escapes every night. NO health problems here.

I have bought a new car - not new but new to me. It is a 2006 Chevy Cobalt. It is really cute and gets great gas mileage.

If you are still reading this you must be a real friend, cause this is really boring. I just wanted to let everyone know I am still alive.

Hugs to all!

the blessings continue to flow

2011-06-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

*my daughter got a job

* i am still doing well

* decreased my meds by half

* no more surgeries scheduled

* looking for a full time job

*back to working part time

* spending time with old friends

* date nights with hubby

*air conditioner fixed

*a new car

*my son's reading is ROCKING right now

* summer reading lists - David Baldacci rocks

*too many more to mention

miracles still happen

2011-06-07T16:30:00.001-07:00

i have been waiting a few days to post this...i want to share the healing that God has given me...as many of you know I have been sick for 14 months...severe stomach issues...i have been to brookwood hospital several times and have had several procedures done to try to correct the issues...nothing seemed to work so they sent me to the university of south carolina for further more in depth tests...i was told in sc that i needed to have a gastric pacemaker in my stomach...i came home to get prepared for the trip to the university of mississippi...well i had a nerve block done last friday that sent my blood sugar through the roof...sent me into DKA...called my endocrinologist at Brookwood and found out that he was out of the country so they sent me to st vincent's where his parnter was working...while there a GI doc that i know came by and told me that we needed to put a tube down my nose to bypass my stomach and in my side to by pass my stomach but in the meantime he wanted to perform the next test to prepare me to go to mississippi...so we go for the 2 hour gastric emptying study....later that day he came back and said, "you are not going to like what i have to say." i said, "what, my stomach is rotten, i could have told you this..." he said, "no dear you do not have gastroparesis anymore" obviously this confused me...we talked for a little bit...he told me, "your test is 100% normal...you are healed my child." i was discharged from the hospital...i have not had any of my stomach medicines in almost a week, i have eaten anything i wanted to eat, went out to dinner with my hubs at olive garden on friday...i have not vomited in over a week....

over the past year and a half...i have had so many people praying for me...from coast to coast - north south east to west...i truly believe that God has healed me...even my blood sugars are normal....

don't ever give up on God bc although He may not answer your prayers in your time He will answer them in His time

not much has changed....but yet so much has

2011-05-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

not much has changed here in lincoln, al. i am still battling the stomach issues...no need to go into that cause it is really gross. but one thing has changed...my thankfulness...for all the people that have gone out and helped the tornado victims, that have raised money through very creative ways...for alot of things. i am not physically able to go out and do what i want to do...this really makes me mad...but i will get back to that point...it is just amazing to me that as divided as our state is - UA vs AU - that we have all pulled together and started the recovery process. it makes me so proud to be from Alabama....that's all folks....

the good, the bad, the ugly and the rest of the story...

2011-05-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

so if you have been following this saga...you can tell i have had technical difficulties with posting pictures...i have come to the conclusion that if you use pics from your i phone then it does not transmit like your camera...anyway...on to the real reason for this post....

so we left on saturday, april 30, and spent the night in augusta, ga. it was cool...got to go by the masters...even though barney fife would not even let us put our feet on the ground...had to take the pics from the window...oh well....

got to charleston on sunday...the place we stayed was absolutely awesome...well i should say where stephen got to stay cause i had an extended hospital stay....so here we go...

we get to the hospital on monday, met with the doctor, discussed what we were going to do and on to pre op did i skip...yes i said skip...they looked at my veins and asked where my port was...i just kind of laughed...they took me on back to the anestheologist (i don't think i spelled that right) anyway...yours truly ended up with an iv in her left foot...let it be known that i did not cuss nor take the Lord's name in vain....i did call on Him, His mother and any other saint i could think of....the doc looked at the nurse said...you know she has a fever...i think she needs to stay overnight...nurse says no she does not have a fever...doc says she will in a minute cause i am not going through this again tomorrow....i loved this doctor...had my first procedure...nothing noteworthy...stayed the night...so on tuesday we had the big test...the ERCP...it showed that my pancreas was working beautifully...we were very scared that it was not working...it seems the problem is my stomach...you know that big thing i carry around....anyway when i eat food it stays in my stomach anywhere from 24 to 48 hours after it is supposed to have you know gone down the toilet...look i told you this was ugly....therefore, it rots, makes me sick, puts me in pain, yeast grows which is even worse...then when i am so sick that i go to the ER the pain meds they give me make it worse...it just makes my stomach slower...so i am in a pickle...what do you do....

there are some meds out there...i am taking one, but it has some side effects that i am scared to death of but have not had any of them - yet...there is another drug that is approved in canada and europe but of course our fda won't approve cause there is no money to be made it it...but i digress...

so our next step is to go to the university of missississippi...there is a doctor there, Dr. Thomas Abelle....he invented the gastric pacemaker...it is a modified heart pacemaker but it is surgically placed in the stomach to stimulate those nerves to make that nasty food move on...

so we have some answers and that is what we prayed for...so we journey on...

Journey On - Ty Herndon

Sometimes the mountains tower high above you
Sometimes the currents just too fast to swim
Life can carry you all kind of places.
Journey On.

Sometimes in the moment of your weakness
When you're on the edge of giving in
You hold your heart before it falls to pieces.
Journey On.

Journey On - hold your head above the water
Journey On - you can weather out this storm
Journey On - there's a better day coming
A better world than you have ever known

Journey On - someone's waiting by the river
Waiting there to take you by the hand
So make the most of all that you've been given
Journey On.

Anybody's ship can take on water
You gotta make the choice to sink or swim
Just grab a piece of rubble from the wreckage
Journey On.

Too many times your heart will leave you stranded
You bear the scars of where you've been
Don't be afraid to ask for new direction
And Journey On.

Journey On - hold your head above the water
Journey On - you can weather out this storm
Journey On - there's a better day a coming
Oh, a better world than you have ever known.

Journey On - someone's waiting by the river
Waiting there to take you by the hand
So make the most of all that you've been given
Journey On.

Journey On -
Journey On.

Roll Away Your Stone...

2011-05-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

This song is by The Mumford Sons - I think I spelled it right...I borrowed this from someone else, but after all that our state has been through I just think it is perfect....you can google it and hear the song....

Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine
Together we can see what we can find
Don’t leave me alone at this time,
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside
You told me that I would find a home,
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal,
And all the while my character it steals
But darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
It seems as if all my bridges have been burned,
You say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive at the restart
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
But darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Stars hide your fires,
And these are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so, I’ll be found with my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul
But you, you’ve come too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

Charleston Part I

2011-05-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well we have made it to Charleston, SC, and we are staying at this quaint little place called Shem Creek Inn. It is on Shem Creek which is a major shrimping area. Very interesting place. We have eaten at some pretty cool places. We stopped in Columbia and toured the campus of The University of South Carolina. Let me tell you...it is pretty but it is NOTHING like The University of Alabama. The stadium is like 5 miles from campus. We could not get there because of construction. People have been very nice, and we hope to make another trip up here for a real vacaation. Here are some pics....sorry they are so small...I am having camera issues....

A week in review...

2011-05-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

This is a southerner that just learned to love Yankees - THE Yankees - for their contributions to the recovery efforts. Considering how many folks from bama have gone to the NFL, MLB, NBA, even American Idol - I hope that those organizations step up as well. Also Beth Moore, one of my spiritual eartly heroes, has sent $10,000 to the relief efforts. Our state has been desimated. My family was so very blessed that we did not even have a branch in our yard. Yes we did not know where some family members in Tuscaloosa were for a while, but we found them. God is so good.

My uncle's cabin in Shoal Creek got damaged pretty bad. I could not get those pictures to upload. That little community was hit hard. There was an assisted living out there that I worked with alot. It is completely gone. The owners and all the Residents were killed. It has been a very stressful, sad, awakening week for us. But the sun is shining today, and God said, "I will never leave you or forsake you." For those who have lost everything and family members just know that God is still there. He has not left your side.

Peace and blessings....

I borrowed these pictures from my friend Rebekah Gilbert whose husband grew up in this town.

The Masters...

2011-04-30T17:14:00.001-07:00

Ok so I am kind of a dork! It never crossed my mind when Stephen told me we were going to stay in Augusta, GA, on Saturday night that that is where The Masters is played. Yes I am kind of slow. We drove by it and could not see alot. We pulled into the main gate and Barney Fife came around to Stephen's window. He would not even talk to me and he was closest to me. Anyway, I digress. He told us "you cannot exit the car but you can pull down here and take some pictures." What are we going to do if we "exit" the car? Have you seen the size of us? Do we look like we are going to play golf or that we are dangerous? Anyway, here is a picture of the trees that line the road going to The Masters.

reflections...

2011-04-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Yes it is 4am and I am writing another post. God has laid something on my heart that is overwhelming. The lessons he is teaching me right now are so clear to me. I have never been one to say, "Oh Jesus spoke to me and told me to do....." Well Jesus did not audibly speak to me but He sure showed me where I needed to go study my Bible.

After yesterday's post, I really began reflecting on what I had written. Never in my life have I ever been so honest and raw for the whole world to see. But then I began to think, how many blogs I have "stumbled"upon that I read everyday for inspiration. I can only pray that someone does the same for my blog.

As I was studying my Bible last night, I came across a verse in Hebews 4: 14 - 16 that says, "Therefores, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as are - yet he was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us our time of need."

Yes this verse say "to help us in our time of need", but isn't every second of the day a time of need for us. This world is so cruel, mean, corrupt, etc. I have been the queen of praying when I needed something. My goal now is to be the Christian who leans on my Lord ALL the time not just in those "times of need."

I hope many of you don't think I have gone off the deep end, and maybe you do. I have been a Christian for the better part of 20 years. My faith has waivered just like yours has too. But my faith is renewed, and I just want to share it. Someone may be able to relate what I am going through.

Peace and blessings....

An Explaination...

2011-04-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

So as I lay here in my bed, sick, hurting, nauseated and just purely miserable...I am counting the days to Sunday when we leave for SC. Yes we finally have our our appointment at The University of SC Medical Center. I will be there three days and will have 2 surgeries while there to hopefully correct this problem. The doctors there are the best in the nation for GI issues. UAB even sends their patients there.

I feel like I need to explain what has been going on for the past 14 months. I am a Juvenile Diabetic, that means my pancreas produces little if any insulin. Your pancreas also creates other juices and enzymes to help digest your food. Well I have something called pancreatic hypertension. This means that my pancreas blows up like a balloon, closes off and does not let those juices and enzymes come out to help in digestion. This causes pain, nausea and vomiting and all other sorts of wonderful things. In addition to that, I have gastroparesis. This means that my stomach is very slow to empty, and as gross as it may sound, sometimes food sits there for a very long time. This causes pain, nausea and vomiting. I also have sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. This is a little valve that comes off the pancreas that opens and closes to let those afore said juices and enzymes out. Well when my pancreas is swollen or in a hypertensive state, then that valve can't open. I have had to have it cut open to let pressure off. Then of course I deal with high blood pressure and fibromyalgia.

Guys and gals, this is very painful and it has debilitated me. I can hardly eat any foods. Yogurt has been my best friend. I hate eating and yall know how much I used to love that....

During this time, I have had my faith tested. I have been angry at God, I have questioned God, have had severe depression and many other things. But over the past couple of months, my doctor that I have been with for over 10 years has opened up to me about his walk with Jesus and some of his struggles. I have realized I am not the only one in a boat like this. My hope has come back. Yes there are still days that I am wretching in pain. But over the past few weeks, I have renewed my faith in God, I have asked Him to forgive me of my wrongful thoughts about all this. I figured out that He is teaching me to lean on Him ALL the time, not just when I need Him. My best friend reminded me last night that when Jesus hung on that cruel cross and said, "My God My God why have you forsaken me?" He felt all alone, no one understood His pain. But he NEVER gave up His hope nor did He quit praying.

I just want to encourage anyone who is going through any kind of troubles, physical, emotional, spiritual, Your Jesus has been there. He is still there for you just like He has been there for me. I truly believe that all of this has been a lesson to me to lean on Him ALL the time. This is something that I have been guilty of not doing.

Just as God's timing is perfect, last Friday, I got the phone call from South Carolina for my appointment. I will be leaving Sunday, May 1, and be there for a few days to undergo some tests and surgeries. I am fully confident in God that I am going to get some answers. Yes my doctors here in Birmingham are awesome, but sometimes you have to go somewhere else.

As I end this note, I do want to share that although I feel very bad today, I have had two wonderful days. Easter was wonderful and yesterday was great too. I was able to walk 1/2 mile, do some pretty intense house cleaning, run errands, have some time with my best friend and cooked a great supper for my family. God is good!

No one may read this, but if one person does and it helps them through their pain, then it was worth me writing. Peace to all....

so what have I been doing...

2011-04-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

Well, funny you should ask. I don't really know why I bother writing these blogs, because only a very few take the time to read them much less make a comment. But I am going to use a bullet style format to keep myself from being wordy.

*well I went back to work for a very short period of time - 7 weeks of which I was in the hospital for 3, which makes a total of 4...that is pushing it

*continue to have enormous GI issues

* have decided that although I am not a stay at home mom kind of person that is what God has demanded, comanded and insisted that I be right now

*been to the doctor more times than I can count

*decided that "we tend to identify ourselves and each other primarily by what we look like....or what we do"...ok this would be me...

*"Is who you are determined by what you do, or is what we determined by who you are?"

* "that good appearance plus the admiration of others equal a whole person or that we feel that star performance plus accomplishments equal a whole person"

* "I am already a whole person and possess a life of infinite meaning and purpose because I am a child of God"

* "Being a child of God who is alive and free in Christ shoudl determine what we do"

Let me insert here that I am reading a book called, " Victory Over The Darkness".

* I have decided to be a stay at home mom and MAKE IT WORK."

* I have discovered an awesome website called....www.onceamonthmom.com

*It gives recipes, printable recipes and printable grocery lists...it also gives you the quantities to make for a whole month so that you can have it twice!

*I have decided to break my house into sections to clean...that is another post

* I have decided to do something one day a week for myself...that does not include getting a mani or pedi each week...I am a helping person...so I am going to volunteer once a week at an area hospice company and if I so feel like it visit with a friend who is a shut in, fellow stay at home mom or just a friend who I miss...

*I have decided to continue my walking routine...I had gotten up to a mile a day...I have only been doing this since Feb 15....

*and anything else that might cross my simple little mind....

What are you doing this week? I will need some new ideas....

since we last spoke...

2011-03-21T15:23:00.000-07:00

since we last spoke alot has happened

*went to a conference in huntsville for my social work license

* it was great - learned alot

*got sick with an URI that turned into a hospitalizationv-vdoesn't that sound like fun....

*halfway through the first semester of college with my daughter

*spring has sprung :)

*got to spend several hours with one of my besties over dinner and at the bookstore

*got to spend the afternoon with my very best friend and her girls celebrating their birthday...

what have you been up to?

been stuck...

2011-03-05T18:35:00.000-08:00

i have been stuck on so many levels lately...stuck in my writing, stuck on a professional level, stuck on good reading material...just stuck...

well i have been on my job for a month....it is the most challenging social work job i have ever had...

there is so much i want to do on a professional level but am not able to for various reasons...

nothing is appealing to me in the arena of good books....

don't understand why social workers are so underpaid...it is rediculous...

questioning some decisions i have made...

trying to wrap my head around the reasoning of the nfl to call the president in to intervene over a $9 billion pot of revenue...do they not realize there are people losing jobs everyday, losing their houses to foreclosure and such and all they can do is bicker over this...please

why people are so mean....

where are you stuck?

My Life in 100 Questions,,,

2011-02-25T01:08:00.000-08:00

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
uppler left lip - Matt Brooks hit me in the mouth with a frisbee...

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Asian bird scene

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Hubs says I snore, I know I grind my teeth and yes I talk in my sleep...could never have an affair

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
country and folk

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
7:43 am I think - mom said if I had been her first I would have been the last

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
perfect health

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
my Granny and her silliness

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5'8"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
sometimes...it depends...MRI machines and I are NOT friends

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
yep...I hate the dark

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
dying alone - yes I have worked social WAY too long - seen this too many times

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
obviously bald and blue eyes - that is what I married

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
Let's go with over a sprained shoulder, whiplash and Blimpie sandwich

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee and lots of it

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
everything - love the supremem pizza at Pizza Hut - my Granny and me used to go to the Pizza Hut in Rainbow City and sit and watch the cute Italian man, yes he was truly Italian, make the dough and then the pizza

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
tons of crab meat

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
only those in a bag

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED
my dirty Dairy Queen shirt that my mom gave me when she dropped me off at college that had a note on it that said, "Just a gentle reminder to study, Love Mom"

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
On yeah! My Stephen

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
At my age I'm barely single jointed

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Old Navy

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
13

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Bruntettes - this is of course my choice of hair color for myself

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!"

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
where there is no cell service, a balcony, a lake and a cup of coffee - Guntersville

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Nope

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
people who have no family to help them - I work in a nursing home - I see it too often

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Greg McElroy

37. FIRST JOB?
cutting grass for a doctor across the road from my house

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Only those my sister put me up to

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
yep

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
sleeping

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
too many to mention

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
eyes / smile

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
To be 36 and health

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
How 'bout two....Jamie and Jacob

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
my grandmother and my aunt - Virginia Diane

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
When they think they know everything and they don't know diddley

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
All the old friends...especially those conversations early in the morning on the front steps...

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
suave essentials

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Most of the time

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
roast beef

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Diet Mt. Dew

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Not really

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably just for the smart mouth comments

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
I don't know...I don't have any

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not so much as I get older....

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
do you really want that

58.WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS.
lose 58 and I am steadily working on it...

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Wonder Woman

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Too many

62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
I'm older than Barney

63. Do you use sarcasm?
Every day, all day -that is how I get through the day....

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
taters

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
teeth and half a brain

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Gin, Gin Gin, GiGi, Ginny Rat

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
making people disappear

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Intervention

69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
Let them remain enemies and go on with your life

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Blue Bell Sugar Free Cookies and Cream

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Today I do

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
yep

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
try to go back to sleep

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
in a RV traveling the country

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
it would be nice

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
the sound of the AC and my husband's CPAP machine

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
tea

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
momma

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
teeth

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
read

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
snakes - Satan's puppets

82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
spring - buttercups come out

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Laffy Taffy

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Still do - since kindergarden

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
dirty blonde with gray

86. EYE COLOR?
Blue

87. SHOE SIZE?
violin cases

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Sonic

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Styx

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Most of it

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Yep

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
everyday the Lord allows me to wake up

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
trumpet

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Conservative (idiots on both sides of the isle now)

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
hugs

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Well, married 13 years I guess it's a series of one night stands....

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
sub sandwich

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
have been - it is the most stressful underpaid job EVER

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
some trashy romance Shaye gave me - love ya girl

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Great - most think a love life is physical - it is more emotional than anything

How bout you?

.

Hi, My name is Ginny....

2011-02-16T02:10:00.000-08:00

Since I last posted, so much has happened. I have started a new job after being off work for almost a year due to health problems. Did not think I would be able to return to work, but man oh man, God showed up and showed out. I have finally gotten the diagnosis that we have hunted for over a year...I have fibromyalgia. It is amazing what alot of prayer and a little medication will do.

My Jacob is doing great in school. We have set up some services for him related to his ADD and dyslexia. The curriculum is the same as the other kids, and they are transitioning him to be able to complete the Advanced Diploma in high school. Yes he is in the 6th grade, but this takes alot of time. His last progress report showed all A's and B's and one C. This was amazing. Therefore, he got to go to World of Wheels in Birmingham and meet Greg McElroy, former quarterback for Alabama. I explained to Jacob that GMac graduated with a 4.0, is a Rhodes Scholar and handled football. When we met GMac, I told him this. He put his pen down, motioned to the lady behind us to hold a minute and spoke to Jacob on a very personal level about school and the importance of his education. It was amazing...

My Jamie is rockin the whole college thing. We are halfway through her first semester and she has NOT missed a single class. She is doing really good. She is being challenged unlike while she was in high school. She has one whacky teacher but hey haven't we all had that....

My hubs sent me beautiful flowers for Valentines Day. I also got a Valentine's present straight from heaven. Walk with me here. My Granny that passed away this past November..had a collection of quilts that are unreal. Noone knew which quilt was my favorite except my Granny. My mom and dad went to get some stuff from her house, and my aunt said to my dad, "get a quilt you think Ginny would want." He picked out THE quilt. I got home from work yesterday and knew nothing about this trip. When my mom gave it to me I just cried. I went home got in the bed and wrapped up in that quilt. It smelled like my grandmother. It brought back so many memories. This is the quilt that everytime I spent the night with her even when I was grown and married...she made my bed up with it. It has been very therapeutic for me to get some of her stuff. I miss her terribly, but I know she is in Heaven, made whole and is alot happier than I am.

Thank you for traveling with me. Hope to hear from yall soon....Hugs, kisses and peace to all....

I AM.....

2011-01-22T15:59:00.000-08:00

I Am.

I Am...Ginny

I Want...my house to be clean...

I Have...a much better life than I ever thought possible and more than i deserve

I Wish...I could re raise my childre....i don't think i have done a very good job

I Hate...being late, feeling guilty, disappointing people, stubbing my toe, biting my tongue, a dirty house, fighting, people who abuse othe people
s
I Fear...that a snake will get in my house...it will immediately go up for sale

I Hear...my son talking about fishing- he would rather fish than eat

I Search...the Internet for anything....

I Wonder...what my life would have been like if i had been a nurse...

I Regret...not finishing school earlier

I Love...my husband, my son, my daughter, surprises, day trips with my hubs, seeing my children succeed in school

I Ache...when my children are sick, my parents getting older, when i hear about the elderly being abused, the pressure that my children have in school...

I Always...strive for perfection.

I Usually...fall short.

I Am Not...a pushover.

I Dance...hardly ever - i have no rhythm...

I Sing...in the car to anything that is on the radio....

I Never...feel completely relaxed.

I Rarely...deep clean my house...i need to or hire a maid

I Cry...not as much as i used to

I Am Not Always...as put together and confident as people think I am.

I Lose...sleep.

I'm Confused...about my health and why it is so bad

I Need...more hours in the day.

I Should...do so much more...too much to list

Who Are You?

what in the world have I been doing?

2011-01-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

haven't posted in a while...had ALOT going on...like I was waiting for Bryce to call me for my private suite complete with padded walls...i have been back in the hospital...thought I had the flu..negative...thought I had kidney stones...negative...had kidney infection...think I have a nasty return of a fungus...yes I know that is gross...in my UTI tract...going for outpatient procedure on Thursday to investigate that...daughter started school...I am looking for a job...had an AWESOME interview today...really hoping this works out...really don't want to drive to Birmingham anymore...having a root canal tomorrow...got a sick child...so I have been busy...including my smart mouthed husband but that just comes with the territory!

Today....

2011-01-06T00:06:00.000-08:00

Well today has been an interesting day. I took my oldest daughter to college. I showed her how to go and pay your tuition, get parking decals, to buy "used books" and how to always find your classes before they start. It was weird, I think she actually listened to me. I don't think she realized how much school costs. In all, I think we paid a total of about $2500.00 for this semeseter! I told her she had alot of dishes to do! *grin* I am so proud of her. She has a plan and seems very determined to stick to it. She told me today that she is not worried about her social life now like she was when she was in high school. Another statement today was, "I am really going to apply myself and see how smart I am". My precious daughter has been through alot in her life. She has had cancer, her biological mother abandoned her, has had her heart broken many times, but she has always overcome it. I met her dad when she was five years old. I fell in love with her before I fell in love with her dad. I feel that I have devoted my life to her and now I am seeing the results of it. She is in the pre nursing program and already knows that she wants to work with cancer patients. She knows what they are going through. She has lost body parts, her hair and so much more. But she is back with a vengence and is ready to conquer the world. I am so proud of her and I know she will make a great nurse. I love you Jamie Leigh!

watch out 2011....

2011-01-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

This post has been on my facebook page for a few days, and I was having difficulty copying and pasting from one site to another. Anyway, here it is...hope you enjoy....

This may turn into a long post, but I will try to be concise. Most of you know that this has not been the greatest year for me. If you have failed to realize this then you must wear rose tinted glasses. Anyway, I have gone through some severe depression from having to resign from my job due to my health, which continued to decline. Recently thought I was ready to go back to work and was absolutely blown away by some comments that were made to me. I was humiliated to have to apply for disability. The depression just got worse and worse. I have been in a very dark place. Well there are three things that happened to me over this weekend that tell me that 2011 is not going to be that way.

The first thing that happened was I had the pleasure of hearing a group called Crystal River, www.chrystalriveronline.net. A trio of guys who are on fire on for the Lord. Everyone song they sang I needed to hear. One song in particular, My History is Not My Destiny, really slapped me all in the face. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of, but I know that I am a child of the King. All of that mess I created is gone - forgiven and forgotten. I have to let it go.

The second thing that happened was a sermon I listened to on Sunday morning. The preacher at Frazier United Methodist Church in Montgomery is awesome. He preached about all the times in the Bible where God refers to himself as the Light. He talked about the Light will never be put out by the darkness. How we have so much darkness in our lives due to losing a job, having failing health, depression beyond your control, disappointed in your kids and their behaviors - hello are you talking to me? I mean there are over a 1000 people in that church and he is all in my face. The one thing he said that stuck with me is this statement, "What better gift to give Jesus this Christmas season than all your darkness...He can handle it....Let Him bring light into your life." That really stuck with me. Why am I hanging on to all this junk that I can't do anything about? Why am I not leaning on Him rather than myself - I think there is a Bible verse about that. :) I looked up how many times the word "light" is used in the Bible - 232 times where darkness is used 163 times. Even in the Bible, light takes over.

The third thing that happened was I read Beth Moore's blog - per ususal. Well she is a phenomenol Christian, teacher and woman. She is a firm believer in memorizing verses. Her theory is that if you have a plethera of verses in your head, you can pull one out at any time to fit your situation. This could be while ministering to another person, your having a bad day or you want to give glory to God for something He has worked out in your life. So she suggested taking a spiral bound index card and using it for memorizing verses that apply to your life. To do this you would memorize 2 verses a month. In addition she suggested to get an accountability partner who will do the same thing. Each one will hold the other accountable for memorizing their verses. (Well I picked another awesome Christian, Becky. She was my college roommate and kept me straight!) Anyway my verses for the year are going to be all about light. If it is used 232 times in the Bible then surely I can come up with 24 verses about light and how He will guide, guard and keep us in every situation we have. There may still be darkness that comes into my life in this New Year, but I am going to have a weapon ready for it.

I know this is kind of lengthy, but I just felt I had to share. So many people have been an encouragement to me, and I know they too must face darkness in their life at times. I want to be that person who can encourage in the New Year. I want to thank each person who reads this for all the encouragement you have given me this year. I hope I can return the gift....

.

2011-01-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

God sends people...

2010-12-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

I have been struggling over the past few weeks of whether I should go back to work. Well I applied at a particular nursing home, and I know they pay very well. Today I was in the doctor's office and a friend of mine who works for an area home health company. Anyway, she told me who the administrator was and right then I knew I was not to go back to work. There is NO WAY I could work for this man. He is very unethical; I will leave it that. So I will continue to stay at home and take care of my family.

I will have a Christmas post in a few days. So many magical and wonderful things happened to us over the holidays that it will take me a while to write it all. However, I will tell you that my hubs has surprised me with a New Year's trip. I am a rediculous fan of Martina McBride. We are going to the Silver Star Casino to see her in concert...in a very small setting. There are only about 30 rows in the concert hall. I am so excited......

I hope everyone has a safe and prosperous New Year.

look at me now

2010-12-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

I am too ashamed to show you what it looked like before, but I think it looks pretty good myself. This blanket was made by great grandmother. The quilt rack was made by my dad. This is a view of my dining room. We'll see how long it stays looking like this!

Christmas in Georgiana...

2010-12-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

Watch out 2011.....

2010-12-20T23:04:00.000-08:00

This may turn into a long post, but I will try to be concise. Most of you know that this has not been the greatest year for me. If you have failed to realize this then you must wear rose tinted glasses. Anyway, I have gone through some severe depression from having to resign from my job due to my health, which continued to decline. Recently thought I was ready to go back to work and was absolutely blown away by some comments that were made to me. I was humiliated to have to apply for disability. The depression just got worse and worse. I have been in a very dark place. Well there are three things that happened to me over this weekend that tell me that 2011 is not going to be that way.

The first thing that happened was I had the pleasure of hearing a group called Crystal River, www.chrystalriveronline.net. A trio of guys who are on fire on for the Lord. Everyone song they sang I needed to hear. One song in particular, My History is Not My Destiny, really slapped me all in the face. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of, but I know that I am a child of the King. All of that mess I created is gone - forgiven and forgotten. I have to let it go.

The second thing that happened was a sermon I listened to on Sunday morning. The preacher at Frazier United Methodist Church in Montgomery is awesome. He preached about all the times in the Bible where God refers to himself as the Light. He talked about the Light will never be put out by the darkness. How we have so much darkness in our lives due to losing a job, having failing health, depression beyond your control, disappointed in your kids and their behaviors - hello are you talking to me? I mean there are over a 1000 people in that church and he is all in my face. The one thing he said that stuck with me is this statement, "What better gift to give Jesus this Christmas season than all your darkness...He can handle it....Let Him bring light into your life." That really stuck with me. Why am I hanging on to all this junk that I can't do anything about? Why am I not leaning on Him rather than myself - I think there is a Bible verse about that. :) I looked up how many times the word "light" is used in the Bible - 232 times where darkness is used 163 times. Even in the Bible, light takes over.

The third thing that happened was I read Beth Moore's blog - per ususal. Well she is a phenomenol Christian, teacher and woman. She is a firm believer in memorizing verses. Her theory is that if you have a plethera of verses in your head, you can pull one out at any time to fit your situation. This could be while ministering to another person, your having a bad day or you want to give glory to God for something He has worked out in your life. So she suggested taking a spiral bound index card and using it for memorizing verses that apply to your life. To do this you would memorize 2 verses a month. In addition she suggested to get an accountability partner who will do the same thing. Each one will hold the other accountable for memorizing their verses. (Well I picked another awesome Christian, Becky. She was my college roommate and kept me straight!) Anyway my verses for the year are going to be all about light. If it is used 232 times in the Bible then surely I can come up with 24 verses about light and how He will guide, guard and keep us in every situation we have. There may still be darkness that comes into my life in this New Year, but I am going to have a weapon ready for it.

I know this is kind of lengthy, but I just felt I had to share. So many people have been an encouragement to me, and I know they too must face darkness in their life at times. I want to be that person who can encourage in the New Year. I want to thank each person who reads this for all the encouragement you have given me this year. I hope I can return the gift....

Blessings,
Ginny

i have decided

2010-12-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

i have decided alot of things in the past few days...

1. God will come first...no ifs, ands, or buts about it...
2. I am going back to work...
3. If my house gets cleaned it will be on my time...I can't do it all...I have always just wanted my house to be "pretty", but I guess I will have to wait on that
4. I am going to begin a gratitude journal...this will keep me out of the dumps
5. I will do two loads of laundry a day - my house looks like a Chinese laundry mat
6. I will take my meds first thing in the morning to include a multi vitamin - sometimes I get busy and forget...
7. Call my friends when I am in a good mood not just when I need a shoulder to cry on...
8. Be more patient - Lord help me with that one
9. Be more involved in Jacob's school...
10. Throw away more stuff...you have no idea how much junk I have....

family pics

2010-12-12T11:52:00.001-08:00

He wanted to jump in that creek so bad...at one point he had his shirt off before we knew it...

This pic was taken just so we could get my new houndstooth ring in the picture.

This is just a cool pic.

I was trying SO hard not to laugh...I cannot look at him without laughing.

This is a perfect picture of Jacob...always laughing.

The monkeys were in the tree.

All the monkeys....

This is just an awesome pic...my photographer is so talented.

It looks like we are in love doesn't it?

My sweet daughter....

The Thinker

The "true" version of a Bama Belle....

Just the whole gang....

It took alot to keep these two still, close together and not kill each other....

My babies....

more pics

2010-12-11T18:57:00.001-08:00

these are just a couple of snapshots we took today...we had professional pics made with all of our Alabama gear on...will post those pics later....

a week in pictures

2010-12-10T17:48:00.000-08:00

my nativity scenes

my Christmas tree

me being caught off guard

my aunt marg and her birthday cake

my cousin, Jae, aunts Kathy and Marg, my mom, me and my aunt sharon

It has been a great day...just a glimpse into my family!

i am troubled....

2010-12-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

i am troubled...have not been this way in a while...i am wanting to go back to work...no one thinks i am ready for it...i don't know if i am ready for it...but the desire to go back is still there...i was offered an interview for a contract position, but now i am nervous...i like being at home but this "schedule" people keep talking about that I will fall into, well it hasn't happened...i have been home since march and my house is still a disaster....my health is only somewhat better....and i am still depressed...please if you read this give me some feedback - positive or negative...

menu plan monday....

2010-12-05T23:38:00.000-08:00

I get on these kicks where I try to be real organized and plan out meals for the week...well we are going to give this another try...

Monday: breakfast - fried ham, eggs and biscuits
Tuesday: Crock Pot lasagna - delicious and much easier
Wednesday: Black Eyed Pea Casserole and cornbread
Thursday: Chili
Friday: Pizza night
Saturday: you are on your own - do you need that recipe....

I hope everyone has a blessed week...remember the season and why we have it...remember the less fortunate...give to the Salvation Army, Toys for Tots, etc...you will get the most satisfaction I promise....

my heart continues to overflow....

2010-12-05T10:47:00.001-08:00

jacob and i went to church this morning in lincoln rather than at logan martin...anyway, the preacher, mark martin, preached on the fruits of the spirit...when we got back in the car jacob said,

jacob: i feel so good about myself today
me: why
jacob: because i have forgive myself for my sins and so has God
me: that is wonderful
jacob: i want to go back to that church
me: ok we will do
jacob: those are nice people...it was a good service

i just teared up and thanked God for this day!

my heart overfloweth:

2010-11-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

so my son and i are laying in the bed watching i carly - this is the conversation:

Jacob: so how has your day been
me: it has been good
Jacob: mine has been good too, but it has the best bc i was with my family
me: do you really love your family?
Jacob: yes, i only God more well i love yall equally
me: no you should always love God more than your family, God first, family second and job third
Jacob: so if they were going to kill you - you would want me to choose God instead of you
me: yes that is what i would want
Jacob: wow...i did not know you loved me that much

Then he gave me a big ole hug like none other...maybe i have done something right....

this is not what i signed up for....

2010-11-23T08:32:00.000-08:00

do you ever wonder how you got to the place you are in your life? well i am so in that place right now...i am the person who believes you reap what you sow...therefore, i want to know what i did that was so bad that i am having to hurt like this everyday of my life...i know i have said before that i hurt but i don't think people understand...there is not a place on my body from my shoulders down that does not hurt...we are not talking a little discomfort i mean excruciating pain...i have so many gi issues that it is rediculous...my stomach is in knots and hurting...everything i eat comes right back up, along with bile and all kinds of other junk...it is to the point that i have been referred to a pain clinic....i am scared of a pain clinic....i am afraid of pain clinics...i am afraid i will get addiceted to the meds...my back hurts so bad everyday that the pain is nauseating at times...i am getting weary...i am tired...i don't know how much of this i can take...all i want to do is go back to work...is that too much to ask? anybody got any suggestions...

a sad day

2010-11-18T15:28:00.000-08:00

my precious grandmother died monday at the age of 88 after a very courageous battle with congestive heart failure, a heart attack and kidney failure...it has been a rough week...i found out monday 15 minutes before i was to have surgery that she had died...i have spent the last week in the hospital and was not able to be with the family as they gathered around her bed to say their last goodbyes...i was discharged from the hospital just in time to make it for the viewing last night...it was tough...just as always you see family that you have not seen in several years...it is just a shame that it is at sad events such as these is the only time that we see family...it was definately a celebration of her life...so many memories...the holidays are going to be hard but we will get through them...when i am up to it i will share some of the great memories....

insurance nightmares

2010-11-10T01:56:00.001-08:00

I have never in my life been more frustrated as I am right now. Let me preface this post with the fact that my husband works for Blue Cross and they are giving me a headache. As many of you know, my health has deteriorated over the past several months. I resigned from my job in March; therefore, I dropped my insurance with them. I had been covered through my insurance and my husband's insurance. When I dropped my insurance, his policy was my primary. BlueCross sent him a form to fill out and fax back in to make his policy primary. So he did. Well I start getting all these bills - one in the amount of $25k. We begin investigating and find out there was a "data entry error". The employee at Blue Cross put that it was primary as of 7-01-10 instead of 4-01-10. So my husband gets with HR and they correct the situation. I get on the phone with all these creditors asking them to refile their claims because there had been an error on Blue Cross' part. They did. Well today, I get numerous phone calls that Blue Cross has rejected their refile. I am now being told that we did not complete the forms in a "timely manner" so we are responsible for any medical bills from April 1 to July 1. Please tell me how I am supposed to pay approximately $35,000 worth of medical bills. Did I mention that I am not working? I don't know what to do. I have cried. I have gotten ugly with people on the phone. My husband is still working on it with HR, but I know what the end result will be - I am responsible for the payments. What do I do? Any suggestions would be nice!

Saturday Ramblings

2010-11-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

well today has been an interesting day...i woke up this morning feeling like the race cars out at the track were running in my head...my back was so stiff it was hard to move...stephen had to help me out of bed...we cooked a late breakfast - smoked sausage, scrambled eggs and toast...all protein for me...my doctor would be proud...jut got an unexpected phone call from an old friend...i have not talked to her in almost 5 years...it made my night....i love old friends...she is so encouraging and positive and loving...spent some time with my momma and sister today...set a date to go to another friend's house to see her house decorated for Christmas...she is amazing...momma is going with me...bought some seasonal candles today....sunflower, harvest berry and pumpkin spice....they smell so good...i know this is a bunch of rambling but this is just what happened today...hope you have a great rest of the weekend....:)

Trying Thursday versus Thankful Thursday

2010-11-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Today has been a very stressful day. So I have been in a pretty ill mood. Let me tell you some of the things I have had to deal with today.

1. Met with the attorney's office about my SS disability - humiliating.
2. It is race weekend here, which means 200,000, people have invaded my quiet little town.
3. I have fought University Blvd. in Birmingham. At one point I wanted to get out of my car, pull someone from Chilton County out of their car and punch them in the face. I usually don't get road rage, but they were just being morons.
4. I have one car in the body shop because my daughter ran it under an Expedition. Tonight my husband call me on the way home to tell me the "check engine" light has come on in the other care and it is trying to "cut off."
5. A friend got killed last night trying to help someone in need.

Okay, so you see today has not been that great. But it is Thankful Thursday, and I am going to find some things to be thankful for.

1. Race weekend only comes twice a year.
2. I do not have to drive in downtown Birmingham everyday.
3. I have some money set aside to fix both cars. I will not have to borrow any money.
4. Our friend that was killed willl always be remembered that he gave his life trying to help someone else.
5. I have two awesome kids.
6. My daughter has really picked up the slack in housework that I am not able to do.
7. The beautiful fall colors.
8. My husband - he hasn't strangled me yet.
9. My parents and my sister. They are so helpful to me, and they love me.
10. Homemade cornbread - don't ask - it is just plain good.

It is always so easy to be negative....I am trying hard to find some positives and graditude.

fabulous friday

2010-10-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

well today is friday and it is going to be a great day! i have made some progress in my house....some people may not can tell but oh well....i can....i have a new stove....a new dishwasher will be here monday....i cooked breakfast for my mom and me....i have cleaned up the kitchen.....bagged up three bags of clothes to give to a needy family....yesterday i went to the doctor and got a good report ...cooked an awesome supper last night and looking for another one tonight....i am reading the book "Battlefield of the Mind"...it is life changing...what we think, our attitudes and who we surround ourselves with makes all the difference in the world of how we think, feel and act....i am so happy to be home and not in the hospital and am looking forward to my date with my daughter on tomorrow...life is good...trust me it is!

we interrupt the regularly scheduled programming....

2010-09-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

did i get your attention? well i am waiting any day for the producers of mystery diagnosis to knock on my front door. i have said for many years i feel like God's science experiment. i mean for pete's sake what else can possibly happen to me and my family. i don't think this is what stephen signed up for...

i think when i last left you it was on thankful thursday...oh i do have so much to be thankful for...on that day i had gotten out of the hospital after a 4 day stay....that stay was a result of my having chest pains...let me tell you, if you want to gt people moving, tell them you are having chest pains. i no sooner got those words out of my mouth i was in a wheelchair on my way back to the ER, thrown on the bed, stripped naked and hooked up to more wires tan what is behind my television. :) the ER doc decided that i had everything wrong with me that a person could have wrong with them, he would admit me for observation and let my doc take a look at me the next day. ok...we were agreeable to that. so i spend Labor Day at the luxurious St Vincent's / St. Clair hospital. on Tuesday a doctor who was covering for my doc came to see me. did not really learn a whole lot from him but he did not know me from adam. well about 5is, my cardiologist walks in. i had forgotten he came to pell city on tuesdays. he sat down beside me and in his kind gentle voice says, "you need to go to birmingham and have a heart cath in the morning...i think you mya have some blockages." HOLY COW! so he made the arrangments to have me transferred by ambulance to brookwood. so i got to ride 50 some odd miles in the back of a cracker box. we get to brookwood and get into a room. the nurse introduced herself to me and said she would be back shortly. oh did i mention they could not find a vein, surprise surprise, so i had to have an EJ done. i rested pretty well, the morphine helped,....bright and early on wednesday morning they come to get me for this procedure...i was by myself...none of my family was there....we had some other stuff going on that just did not allow for anyone to be there...i did not think it was a big deal until they start wheeling me down the hall....anyway, went into the OR, they gave me some awesome drugs and i woke back up to find out that my heart is ok...mild CAD but that is to be expected with diabetes. so since cardiology said it was not my heart they passed the ball to gastrointerology who said it was not their problem and they passed it back to cardiology...this went on about 10 minutes and i flipped my lid....i know that is hard to believe but i did...because ultimately i am the one who is suffering by not knowing what is going on...btw...the gastro on call was not my gastro doc....so everybody came to the agreement that i would go home on thursday and follow up with everybody....whoo

so i go home thursday...low and behold friday evening if my chest started hurting again, going down my arm and up into my jaw, sweaty, blood pressure 178/126 and heart rate 145....yeah i was pretty...stephen loaded me up in the car...called the doc on the way and took me back to pell city...they run a bunch of tests...urine, cbc, cmp, bmp, etc....nothing....doped me up and sent me home....i was miserable....

sunday i began running a temperature of 101....my blood sugar would not register on my machine so that means its was above 599...but i was determined to go see my daddy in the hospital...(he has been in the hospital for over a week...doing better...long way to go) anyway, momma said, "why don't you go to the ER down here while i visit with daddy and see what they say...you need to know exactly what your blood sugar is so you can take the right amount of insulin." i agreed. (daddy is at citizen's baptist) so i go down there and there is not a soul in the waiting room. they got me right back. i explained all of this to the triage nurse. she took me straight to a room and the doc was in my room in less than 10 minutes...i explained all of this to him and that i had been throwing up alot...he said without doing any blood work and just going off what i was telling him, he thought i was in diabetic ketoacidosis with a bladder infection. all the lab work came back and sure enough he was right. so i was admitted to the hospital. my dad was on one floor and i was on another. i typically don't go to talladega to the hospital for various reasons, but this was a very pleasant experience. they gave me tons of fluids as in the words of the doc, "you are dry as a bone"...don't you love being from the south? they gave me 2 different antibiotics and watched my blood pressure very closely. my blood pressure has decided that it can do whatever it wants to. we all know how this is going to turn out.

so i got to come home today and cannot be more happy...there is something about your own bed...it just sleeps better...so now if i can get my dad feeling better and back home, our family will be complete...i have the greatest family in the world...they get on my nerves sometmes, but i bet i get on their nerves too....my sister takes and picks Jacob up from school....she takes jamie to appointments and me too since i can't drive...she helps momma and daddy around the house...she has just been a blessing....my momma is the strong one...she takes on the world but she will let you know when she has had enough....she loves her husband and she loves us girls...then there is my daddy...he is one of a kind...he is laid back...if the sun comes up great if it doesn't then i will be that muck closer to seeing Jesus....that is basically his attitude about life....if i can be half of what these three people are i will have accomplished something....and i cannot close this out without mentioning my wonderful friends....yall pray for me daily, pray for my family...yall have been with me through some pretty tough times with my daughter, yall have been there through the triumphs, the celebrations, proms, broken hearts just to name a few...i want yall to know i would not be here today if it weren't for my family and friends.....I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

thankful thursdays....

2010-09-02T18:31:00.001-07:00

i have griped and complained alot lately so in an effort to get out of this rut, i am attempting thankful thursday!!!
*have made it almost a week without a seizure

*have an awesome neurologist who is taking this very seriously

*that i have accepted not working right now and being able to be home with my kids

*that my family loves me unconditionally

*that i have an awesome sister - don't get the big head

*that my husband has a great job and is understanding of this science experiment called my health

* we are getting answers as related to my dad's health problems

*that my mom is the strongest woman i know

*that my son has some of the same teachers i had in school

*for my friends

*for ALABAMA football - for football in general

the madness has begun....

2010-08-27T20:55:00.001-07:00

we are officially in our second week of school...sixth grade to be exact...my son is not supposed to be that old...the first week went well but the second week has been challenging...we - that being jacob- has decided it is not necessary to attempt much less complete his work in school...now how do you think this has gone over with me the child of a retired school teacher...we have had detention this week because of this decision and our xbox, cell phone and lap top has been taken away...my momma would have whooped my butt...but that is another story....on to other news...

stove and dishwasher have gone out this week, i have had three seizures since july 31, been to the neurologist and that is about it...

jamie helped me in the house today...kitchen got cleaned, floors swept and groceries bought....i felt like i had been let out of a cage...i have not been out or driven since july...this whole seizure thing is putting a dent in my life...i never know when one is going to hit or what triggers them...it is real scary...but i have wonderful friends who have been so supportive and prayerful for me...my family has rocked...getting jacob to and from school...going to the pharmacy for me...taking me to buy groceries...much more gracious than i deserve...

i am going for tilt table testing sometime next week...it seems that my seizures happen when i am getting up from a sitting position...my doc thinks that it could be my blood pressure that is triggering these seizures...so i will go for this test and see what it shows...they will put me on a table...strap me down and put a blood pressure cuff on my arm and measure it at different angles...if this does not give us any answers then i will go spend two days at uab where they will do an extensive EEG that is videoed....so we are working on finding the answer....the bad part is that we may never find out what causes them...i ask that all of you continue to pray for me and my family as we go through this trial....

love & peace

around the world in 14 days....

2010-08-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

ok i know the children's story is "in 80 days"....but i feel like i have been around the world in 14 days....as many of you know my life is never boring...so here is the latest...on 7-31-10 my body decided that it would go into grand mal seizures....i have never had them before so this was new to my whole family....my hubby was out of town and my son found me... God bless his soul....i get my story from my momma two days later...i did not know anything for those two days...i was basically in a coma for those two days...i woke up on monday, august 2, in restraints, central line in my neck and bruises all over my body...i was very confused....

the story goes like this...my son noticed there was something wrong with me...i was not making any sense, my face was very red and i was very confused...i was trying to go to my bathroom by way of the kitchen, which is totally not the direction...he ran and got my momma...she tried to check my blood sugar it read error, i made it to the bathroom, she heard a thump, i was in the floor seizing, she called 911, they were here within 10 minutes, was told that i had 6 - 10 seizures between the time it started and i got to st. vincent's east which is about 30 miles away....took 6 - 8 people to hold me down to care for me...i guess you do not realize how strong you are until you are sick and out of control.....

during the seizures, i fell and broke my shoulder...we did not know immediately but found out after i woke up and knew i was in the world...i have an impaction fracture with the socket broken off on both sides...that is the only other injury that we know of right now but we will find out more as complete more evaluations....i will be on seizure meds for the next six months....go see the neurologist at the end of this month and see what the plan is...

i will have surgery on friday to reconstruct my shoulder...i had a CT scan at St. Vincent's East but they were afraid to do surgery because of the seizures...the ortho there did not see any reason to start a new case when i already had an ortho at brookwood, dr. powell....he did my shoulder twice, my mom's hip and knee...anyway, went to see him yesterday, got a CT scan with reconstruction, which is supposed to be the new shiznit....so today dr. powell's assistant called me and said surgery was friday...there are bits of bone just floating around in the "shoulder cavity"..."it is screwed up"...the good thing is that it is the same shoulder that i have had surgery on twice before so at least i have not messed up my "good" shoulder....

so this is what is going on in my world....i ask for your prayers both for myself and my family...i will update as i know more information....love and peace.....

my most wonderful night

2010-07-24T00:04:00.000-07:00

i had a wonderful night...something that has not come out of my mouth in several months...today is my aunt's 60th birthday and her birthday gift to herself was to take her entire family out to dinner at a "very nice" resturant....i thought how selfless this was that she wanted to be with her entire family on her special day and then of all things to foot the bill...we are a family that gets together on Thanksgiving and Christmas....we always say we are going to do better...well Kathy did better....i am planning to send her a thank you card for her generosity and kindness...and the topping on the cake my hubby was with me too! (no kids were allowed :)

Blessings come in different ways...

2010-07-17T17:29:00.001-07:00

A very dear young lady to me has felt my pain the past few days....she has wisdom beyond belief....in my last posting this was her reply...i love you olivia arnold....

You have a Jesus who loves you more than anyone in this world ever could. And he's also healing you minute by minute in ways that you might not understand now but soon you will. That same Jesus is getting ready to put something amazing in your life to replace these bad times your facing. This Jesus is also keeping his promises..and he's ... See Morepromised us help at the time when its needed most. You WILL get better. We have prayed so hard for your healing and whatever we ask in his name will happen so now we've just gotta let him take his precious time so that when your healing arrives its perfect. I hope i dont sound "preachy" I just shared my heart with you...(: I love you Ginny and you are a blessing to have as a second momma.(:

Where did I go?

2010-07-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

Where did I go? This is a question I have been asking myself alot lately. I am not the person I used to be. The one with the attitude, the spunk, the charisma to cheer anybody up. Over the past year my health has not treated me fairly. Some of it could be my fault and some of it is just the nature of the beast called diabetes. I no longer have that joy in my life. I no longer want to be the bright spot in someone's day. I no longer care if I take a shower. I no longer care about alot of things. I know all these are signs and symptoms of depression. I am on medication and I am not about to go jump off a bridge...so don't get real excited. I just want to know where I went. I want to know where the thirst for God's knowledge went. I want to know where the zest of being a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter, etc...where did all that go? I am not able to work right now. I don't know if I will ever be able to work again. All I have ever known is to work and work hard. Working and making a difference in people's lives beats the heck out of working to clean a house. I love my time with my baby boy who is 10 years old. My oldest has moved on. I feel unappreciated, unvaluable, walked over, stepped over....these are all the feelings I felt when I was in school... I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I don't know how to get out of it. I want my life back...I want my marriage to have that spark again...I want my children to say, "Oh mom supper was great!" Is this too much to ask for? If it is then this is not what I signed up for!

thankful thursdays....

2010-07-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

lately i have not been very thankful...but today is a new day....i am thankful for
*i am at home from the hospital
*i have loving friendsd
*great husband and family
*new doors are opening up for me
*my friends have had relaxing vacations
*that my grandmother is getting the help she needs
*my parents who offer different modes of advise but is good advice
*my children
*my new job as a stay at home mom
*my daughter who has taught me patience
* my son who has taught me to laugh
*my husband has taught me not to worry
*in the past few days I have learned that worrying does not good - so stop worrying
*in the past few days I have learned just to chill out..what is going to be is what is going to be i

have so much to be thankful for it is impossible to list them all...

Hi my name is Ginny.......

2010-07-09T17:34:00.001-07:00

I feel like I need to reintroduce myself to some of you, but here I am. I am home from the hospital. I am still not feeling great. I don't know that I will ever feel great again. I am missing work like crazy. I am enjoying being home with Jacob, but there is another part of me that needs fulfillment. There are so many things I want to do but don't have the energy to do them. The housework never seems to end. I watch Clean House for therapy to let myself know that my house isn't that bad. I keep telling myself that I don't live in Haiti. I have a roof over my head. I have food in my pantry. I have running water. It is the worry of not being able to have these things. I am not materialistic by any means. I really HATE to spend money. It's just that if I want to take a friend out for lunch or buy something for my hubs I would like to be able to do that. It is bare bones right now. I am still waiting on determinations on my longterm disability through my work and through the social security. I never thought I would be in the place to have to be depending on those resources. I am just thankful that I have worked all these years and have paid into something that I can now use when I need it. I just hope that they think I need it. There really is nothing else to talk about, so I wll write more later....

tasty thursday

2010-07-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

ok it does not sound as tantelizing as tasty tuesday but i just created an awesome dish...i call it creamy chicken and egg noodles

1 12 oz bag egg noodles
as much chicken as you want
mushrooms
parmesan cheese
butter
cream of chicken soup

cook egg noodles per directions
saute chicken with buter and parmesan cheese
add mushrooms
add soup

stir together and their you have it....

in other news

took jamie to finish the admission process for college
have a clean bathroom
1/2 cleaned bedroom
and soon to be cleaned kitchen

it has been a busy day....hope everyone has had a great day

oh and book reviews -

time of my life - allison winn scotch
the visiting physician
buster's midnight cafe

i am getting naked....

2010-06-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

ok...don't shut your computer down...there are no pictures....

i was talking to my sister today about some stuff...today has been kind of an emotional roller coaster for me as i have to go on wednesday and clean out my office...i was not fired or any of that drama, but my health has just gotten to the point that something had to give and that was the lucky winner...but she said to me..."gin, you just need to get naked...say this is who i am, these are my faults, i am human, take it or leave it..." i thought about that the rest of the day and i think she is right....so her is my nakedness

1. i am a big ole sinner that is saved by the grace of God- hallelujah
2. i am a wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, social worker
3. i have extensive health problem from my diabetes
4. i am very focused and driven which can be to fault
5. i am my worst enemy - i set my standards way too high
6. i have a sarcastic mouth
7. i am a control freak - when i don't know what is going on i feel like a hamster on a wheel
8. i have never been a stay at home mom - this is my first go at it - i will probably screw it up somewhere on the way
9. i am not a good housekeeper - yet
10. i have 2 beautiful children that are the light of my life
11. i have a loving husband who put me on a pedestal 13 years ago and i am not coming down
12. i am scared of alot of things
13. i am scared that i make the wrong decisions for my family
14. when i was working i was very confident in the counseling and advice i gave to my clients, but i am not so sure about it with my family
15. i am scared that i am not going to be around for my children...i HATE diabetes - it is a silent killer
16. i want to be more involved in my children's lives
17. i want the spark back in my marriage - it is not a bad marriage so don't get the wrong idea...just that feeling i would get when i would see him standing under the oak tree at hamil hall with trunk of his camaro open waiting for me to go spend a weekend somewhere
18. i want to be a better friend - i want to be the friend that says the right words when they needed to be said, i want to be the friend who is thoughtful enough to send cards to people just out of the blue to brighten their day
19. I WANT TO BE A BETTER CHRISTIAN AND BETTER ATTENDEE OF CHURCH
20. i want peace in my life...it is kind of stir crazy right now - i have always worked and don't really know what else to do so this homemaking business is a bit new to me....

These are very private thoughts that i have had for a while, but my sis was right, I just need to get naked. I hope after reading this you still want to be my friend. I hope that you will still love me. But if you aren't and these things frighten you, I am sorry. I am human and a child of God.

Now back to regular programming.

thankful thursdays....early on friday morning...

2010-05-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

i am still up at 230 in the am....i cannot sleep...i have alot of fun stuff and not so fun stuff to do this weekend and next week, but i still have to post my "thankful thursdays"

1. my daughter, jamie, graduated from high school tonight
2. my son, jacob, passed to the 6th grade, his report card was awesome
3. my grandmother, two of my aunts, one uncle, my parents and my sis were all there to celebrate jamie's accomplishment
4. ganny and pawpaw and ande z were there too...but they also had relatives that were graduating, but hey i will take it however i can get
5. i get to have lunch with my bff and another dear friend tomorrow
6. my hubby is working from home on friday - yeah.....
7. i am beginning to get into a routine of being at home...today was not so good but we will get back on track
8. my husband has encouraged me to stay home and get well...he has no resentment in this statement...he is the best....
9. my hubby surprised me with the new Gaither Vocal Band CD....good stuff
10. i am not in the hospital

yes this list is simple but isn't that how it is supposed to be :) blessings to all...hope you all have a great memorial day weekend.....

ramblings from a tired brain....

2010-05-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

not alot going on around here...what is going on you would not want to read...but here are a few -
*went to farmer's market with my dad today - had a blast - bought peanuts, squash, purple hull peas, green beans and sweet potatoes
*at one point my kitchen looked fabulous - notice i said "at one point"
* four more days of school - will have one graduated and the other in 6th grade
*my mini garden is growing like a champ
*multiple doctor appointments
*have realized that no one wants to complete paper work even though my health is dependent on it
*cannot sleep at night....my shoulder hurts horribly at night so i take my naps during the day so i can clean at night.....my family does not like that at all
*some people just want to be miserable *learned the difference between wants and needs
*most importantly - BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED - several of my friends but most importantly my momma keeps telling me this
*finally - there is a an old hymn called, "The Lord Will Find a Way for Me"

recipe swap....

2010-05-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

i have not done one of these in a long time...but they are fun

Mexican Rice Casserole

1 can Mexi Corn
1 box Zatarins Yellow Rice
a bunch of cheese

Make the rice according to directions on the box. When done, add can of Mexi Corn. Stir all ingredients together. While stirring add cheese. When stirring is complete, top with desired amount of cheese. I use colby and chedder mix. Pour in casserole dish and back in oven on 35o degrees until the cheese is bubbly. MMMMMMM..........

thankful thursdays....

2010-05-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

been a while since i posted a thankful thursday so i think it is time for one...of course i don't think anybody reads these anymore but oh well...

1. i am thankful for my God who has taken me back into his loving arms and has forgiven me for my sins...

2. i am thankful that my mother's hip has healed and she is only walking with a cane

3. i am thankful that my dad has finally gotten the right combination of meds and he is my old daddy again...

4. i am thankful for all the personal growth my sis has done...i am super proud of her

5. i am thankful that i am going to have my should repaired AGAIN tomorrow

6. i am thankful for the people at work who have been faithful to continually check on me

7. i am thankful for my friend Marlyn who is like a mentor to me...she is awesome

8. i am thankful and proud of my daughter and her decisions for her life after graduation

9. i am thankful that my son who is 10 still wants a "holdin'"..that is snuggling

10. i am thankful that i will be able to see alot of old friends at my church that i was born in and married at on Sunday...

11. i am most thankful this week for my husband who works so hard and is allowing me to stay home and heal and take care of our family...

what are you thankful for....

before and after - pictures to follow

2010-05-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

one of my friends and i are taking before and after pictures of rooms of our house and how crazy, unorganized and many other things...we are keeping it very REAL so as my friend said, "you may be shamed to be a friend after the pictures."...my friend, Becky, is so smart...she is really my sense of control and just tells me the way it is and my friend, Miranda, is my sense of reason....okay so i digress, anyway, i took one room today and cleaned it...like Becky said, start at one side and work your way to the other...it could still use some fine tuning but it looks ALOT better...the reason there are no pictures yet is because I can't figure out how to get the pictures from my phone to my computer...i really want a new real camera...also, i took a picture of the meal i cooked tonight...it was baked chicken with basil and lemon, steamed squash and zucchinni, mac and cheese and mexi corn casserole...my family is about to pass out because they have had two good nutritious suppers in two days... i think my kids are getting tired of me being around so much...i am finding some drama that goes on and i knew nothing about because i was working...well like i said before, i shot the sheriff and i am the new one in town - watch out! there is no reason for all this back talk, smart mouth, cutting of the eyes and asking my WHY......because i said so dang it.....

my new life...

2010-05-10T17:35:00.001-07:00

well i consider this to be the first week of the rest of my life...this is my new life...i have decided to think of my new life is an "early retirement". haha...it did not start off very well but it got better...i still have until june 2 to make a final decision of whether i will return to work...my feelings sway many times a day...anyway...the day started with a flare up of the gastroparesis...went out to my mom's house and got some loving...snapped two pounds of fresh green beans...then my sis cut the crap out of her hand and had to have four stitches...i then came home and cooked a good supper...everything is on my new diet that i have been told i need to look at just like a recovering addict looks at their drug of choice...think about it...if i eat the wrong foods (drug) then i get sick....i cooked fresh green beans, fresh turnip greens, mashed sweet potatoes, fresh, and KFC grilled chicken...it was so good...did not get too much domestic stuff done today...i am telling you this housewife stuff i know nothing about...please someone leave me some tips....right now i am sitting in my chair in the den, with a full belly and feel ok....God has dropped many signs down to me that say "here is your sign Virginia" you know when you hear you first name you are in trouble....hope everyone has a great week...

there's no dollar sign on a peace of mind...

2010-04-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

this is a line to one of my favorite songs, "there is no peace of mind on a peace of mind this i've come to know"..zac brown band...

so many thoughts are going through my hand and none of them make much sense...there have been so many things i could not control...my dad and his drinking, my mother and her work addiction and her never ending love for my father...many other family members who i dare not go into any detail...

i have spent my life taking care of other people...i often tell people that i had no choice but to be a social worker because "my mother was a teacher, my dad was a drunk and the rest of the family is just crazy." for whatever reason i can take care of others but have a hard time taking care of myself. there are so many crazy parts of my life right now that i am afraid to write them much less publish them for fear yall may send me to tuscaloosa.....

first of all is my health or the lack thereof...i am so discouraged about my health and everything that goes along with it...diabetes is an evil disease....i never know how devestating it could be to a body...even if you take the the best care of yourself as you can...now i am not about to sit here and make anyone belived that i am or have been the perfect diabetic, but what i will tell you is that i have tried real hard...maybe not hard enought but i have tried....found out yesterday that i will have to pretty much drink my food for the rest of my life...i am sure turnip greens will taste mighty fine....

work - most people try to figure a way to get out of work....that is all i know how to do...this stay at home mom stuff i just don't know about it...i don't know if i am cut out for that...what do you do...i don't have small children running around to clean up after or soccer games or MDO or those other SAHM things

all of my friends are in my computer...that is sad...what i would give for a girls day out...i have some friends that live close by but they have just as many problems as i have...they have small ones that they can't leave alone....

i spent all those years working on my degree and not it seems to be thrown right out of the window...what can i do with it now....even if i go on disability for a year or so and then decide i can go back to work...what do i tell the interviewer...oh i was sick and had to take some time off...yeah i am sure that will ear my some brownie points.....

i feel abandoned by my family...not my mom, dad and sister but others...i have one set of cousins that are faithful to check on me....

am i being a whiny butt...i don't like whiny butts so i certainly don't want to be one....

i am just so overwhelmed...there are things that have happened over the past week that i am not at liberty to discuss right now...please somebody give me some advice...such as

*if i were you i would

*have you thought about....

don't give me -
*you are having a pity party

*it could be so much worse

get my drift....i am so lost...we won't even go into the church thing right now...love to all .....peace

lawn mower thingy

2010-04-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

i hope, dream or imagine that i might have some stalkers out there who are just quiet...it would thrill my soul if i had some comments....i know i post this on here and facebook but i don't get any comments there either...am i that boring...please tell me so maybe i can take a personality for dummies class....anywho...this is what has been going on in my world....

most of you know that i have paid several doctor's mortgages over the past month because i have been so sick...so on the way to one of my appointments the other day, my husband and i see an obviously handicapped lady riding in an electric wheelchair down mainstreet in talladega...there is a man behind that "appears" to have hooked like a lawn mower thingy that they stand on and the mower pulls them along...anyway we get by them and no sir it was not the lawn mower thingy - HE WAS ON ROLLER SKATES HOLDING ON TO HER AS HER ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR PULLED HIS LAZY BUTT ALONG! i was shocked, annoyed, ill....i wanted to get out of my car and give him a piece of my mind...there was nothing wrong with him...he should have been walking his lazy tail beside her....

tonight at dinner my husband and i are talking about going to see ron white in concert...for those of you who don't know i LURVE ron white....i want him as my side kick my brother...anywho...my cultured son says, "you know bb king is coming right?" my 18 year old daughter who thinks i am about to let her out into the world by herself says, "who is bb king?" my husband and i are trying to pick our chins up off the floor and close our mouths...jacob is looking at her like she is a complete idiot...my hubs says, "he is the man that invented the bb gun." my 18 year old says, "ok" and keeps eating.....

we were at an ice cream shoppe the other day and as we were sitting there jamie my 18 year old noticed some very decorative boxes..she asked what i thought was in them...i told her probably decadent chocolate...my 10 year old says, "what would you decorate with chocolate?"

my son, aka opie, has become quite the fisherman...he and my dad have re connected on so many levels....some of you don't know the story so just be happy that a grandfather and his grandson can stand to be in the same room together now...they have been fishing everyday after school...over the past three weeks he has caught about 11 fish...mom told him when he got to 15 we would have a fish fry....he has been so excited.....

my health if anyone is interested is ok at this moment...we do know that there is no cure for sphincter of odi dysfunction with gastroparesis but i am taking a medicine from canada that is supposed to be the bomb...this was at my doctor's suggestion...i don't know about work right now...it seems that stress is the #1 thing that makes this flare up ...so for those of you who know what kind of work i do - long term care social work - then you know that equals stress...

ok that is all for now...i hope somebody reads this and leaves me a comment...sometimes i feel i am typing to cyberworld....

Nothing

2010-04-22T01:10:00.000-07:00

I am in a really bad mood for various reasons. One of the reasons is that it seems like no one reads my blog after I sit for hours to compose. So if you are a stalker please let me know. I will not be offended. So as of now, I have nothing to say.

What have I been doing & What I need to be doing?

2010-04-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

NOTHING! I did make a home made strawberry short cake, but it all got eaten before a pic could be taken. I have just completed my 5th yes I said 5th hospitalization since March 2. I love my nurse friends, i.e. Becky, but yall inflict alot of pain on my body. I have no veins. Why will they not just give me a port. I'm just saying. I carry my PICC line measurements in my purse. It is rediculous what they put me through. At UAB I quit counting at 25...yep I said 25 sticks. Now with all that said, if one did not know better you would think I was an IV drug user - but oh yeah I am too fat and have NO veins. So I have been recuperating at home. I am not a good patient - ask Becky. I am really not a good recovery patient. It seems like every time I get out of the hospital, I get this burst to clean house. Then after I have killed myself, then I am in the bed for 3 days. Why is it that a messy house drives us women insane. I am by far not a housekeeper -again ask Becky. But I do have my standards. My den looks like a Chinese laundrey mat has opened up. There are literally 10 loads of clothes that need to be washed. The only good thing is the den is clean minus the laundrey.

On to other news, Jamie's senior prom was last night. Please don't think she got any pictures made. Sometimes I wonder what goes through teenagers minds. Maybe I don't want to know. My mom is doing fabulous following her hip surgery . She has returned to work and is driving. GO MOMMA. My dad is doing great too. We seem to have the right combination of meds for him,

Hold your breath on this one - I am considering not going back to work. My health is such that it is not stable enough for me to give 100 % of me to the job or to the Residents. It is not written in stone so please don't go advertising that Ginny has quit work. It is just something we are considering. No decicion will be made until the doctors release me. I have two more appointments that I know of that I have to keep which will probably entail more tests and such. So I tell you all this to ask that you pray for me that God will clearly let me know what I need to do. I sometimes have to be hit over the head by God...it runs in the family.

I hope you all hada a great weekend and will have a fabulous Sunday.

Here's your sign...love God

2010-04-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

Ok so most of you know that I am as hard headed as they come. Most of the time people will tell me I can't do something just because they know it will make me do it. For example, my dad told me in high school that I would never finish college. Ok so it took my 8 years but I finished. The latest is that I have no will power - yes still from ever encouraging father. What he is referring to is my health and the fact that I have lost almost 40 pounds. I have no intention of gaining this weight back, but I think his malfunction is that we went on 1.5 mile walk and I have been barely able to move since. He thinks I have given up. Just wait til tomorrow Pops! Anyway, back to my sign.

I am that person who has to be hit over the head in order for something to get through to me. Cause you know I have it all planned out in my retarded brain. Well as many of you know I have had some pretty significant health problems. Now this is all left to your judgement. Here is the roll call of problems - ketoacidosis made me unconscious for a while...stayed in SICU for several days...major GI bleed...about 3 units I lost...stomach just not working right...that is just the nicest way to save all the gory details. I am to go back to work on the 19th. This is yet to be placed in stone you see because Ginny is finally learning to listen to the docs but more importantly listen to that small voice of God.

I have been "reading" a book by the wonderful Beth Moore called "Breaking Free". I went to see her last February and will go see her in December when she and other great women grace Birmingham with their presence. Ok so I digress. So last night I pick up the book and I am a good 100 pages into it and that voice says to me, "You are reading this book...you are not studying it." Now for those of you who are familiar with Beth Moore you know she can smack you some book chapter and verse in a minute. So I said, "ok...we will break out the notebook and start studying like we were in college."

So I start over. Guess what the first chapter was about. Pride. Do you hear me? PRIDE. And I am not talking about a group of lions. I am very independent and really don't want or need anyone's help cause you know I am a social worker and I can save the world. Do you hear the sarcasm? My pride issue here lately is that I feel defeated and don't feel like this is my time to be healed in time to go back to work. Ok there I said it.

I do have short and long term disability through my work which we are trying to get started. But what about the big one - the disability from the government? Ok this is where I am more than humiliated. That is for people who can't make their own decisions, or people who are worse off than me. Please do not send me hate mail about this. These are just the thoughts that go through this brain that occupies my head.

I have never been so sick in my life. I certainly have never lost almost 40 pounds in a month. Help me understand where I am and what I should do! I am trying to listen to God but this dern PRIDE and my stubborness is getting in the way. I know that Pride is my sin. I have known this for years. Please some of you stronger Christians out there help a sister out! I love you all. I am being very brave to post this out for God and everyone to see, but I am really struggling. Hugs to all and to all a good night.

Jamie's Senior Pics...

2010-04-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

This just a sample of the pics we took last Saturday! She is more beautiful than ever....

Is this the final answer...I hope so...

2010-03-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

When I last left you, I had just gotten home from the hospital from having an ERCP where they had to open my pancreatic duct...yes this is not fun...it causes acute pacreatitis. Anyway, I have since been transferred to UAB and discharged. I basically spent the entire month of March and the first part of April in the hospital. So after much ado about alot of things the final diagnosis is sphincter of Odi disorder and severe gastroparesis. This is a fancy way to say my stomach ain't working. It seems that my diabetes has attacked the nerves in my stomach. It could be worse like my kidneys and legs and eyes. Anyway, the sphincter of Odi is a valve that comes off the pancreas and dumps into the stomach. So this valve is supposed to open and close. Well mine wants to stay closed. Gastroparesis is where the stomach does not empty in a timely manner and the food sits in my stomach and basically rots. Yes this is gross but that is what it is. I have belches that could clear Bryant Denny Stadium. So with the two of these combined it means that I have to be very careful with what I eat. What I need to eat for my diabetes interacts with the GI diet and vice versa. So in the mean while I have lost 34 pounds in a month. I am basically drinking my nutrition right now. I am to have an appointment with a GI doc who specializes in this problem, an endocrinologist who is familiar with my diabetes - I have antibodies for type 1 and 2 diabetes and a dietician. Doesn't this all sound like fun? Anybody want to join me? I am to go back to work on the 19th but that is still up in the air. God has finally hit me over the head and said, "Here is your sign!" I have to get well. So it may be slim pickings around here for awhile but my family needs me alive and well more than my job. Yes I said it! Thank you to all for your prayers, calls and cards. I could not have come through this without yall!

I am alive...

2010-03-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

For the faithful few, I am alive and feeling much better. I do still have quite a recovery but being home is just WONDERFUL! I had been throwing up off and on for about 3 weeks. I finally slowed down and called my GI doctor. I was having the same symptoms I had last summer when there were gall stones in my pancreas and duodenum. As my luck would have it, Dr. Halama was on hospital rotation so he was not seeing patients in the office. But when his nurse told him I had called and what was going on he wanted me to come in on Wednesday, March 3 at 1:00. He was going to meet me in the office. Well Tuesday was a day from Hades....I could not keep anything down not even Sprite or Ginger Ale. I called back to his office and his response is to the ER and he will meet me there. So I drove 45 minutes to the hospital sick as a dog...thank God I had a good ER doc. She looked at me and said "oooh you are green". They admitted me, did an endoscopjy and then an ERCP. They found that my pancreatic duct had another stricture - so they stretched it and sent me back to my room. All was going well until the 3rd shift nurse was making her last round and found me unresponsvie . After running blood gasses and other tests they found that I was in ketoacidosis. This was not because of my sugar but but because of all the bile and acidic junk that had been in my body. As the doctor explained to me later, I was throwing up everything but I was not able to hold down anything to neutralize the acids in my stomach. So my pH was critical, as well as my magnesium, potassium and sodium were critically low. So true to form for me, what should have been a short hospital stay turned into a 10 day hospital stay. There is a period of about a week that I do not remember. I am trying to remember some things but it is coming back slowly. My vision is impaired and my balance is a little off as a result of all of this but the doctor says all this should work itself out in the next week. I want to thank everybody who has prayed for me, prayed for my momma who is recuperating from hip surgery and those who came to visit. I am very blessed to have the friends I have. I will tell you this was by far the scariest time of my life. I have always depended on my mom to be with me when I am sick. I could not be with her and she could not be with me. This was not a good feeling. But with the friends that we have everybody was taken care of. I am TRYING not to be hard headed and stay home for a while, but we will see how that works out. So again I say THANK YOU for everything...

thankfulness

2010-01-24T18:03:00.000-08:00

i was talking to one of my bff's the other day and she said, "you know i don't mean any disrespect but i think God gets a little over confident in what he thinks we can handle." well i am beginning to agree with her. i am certainly not going to go into a gripe / complaining session because i know that i am so very blessed / lucky and all that. i look at those pics on , breaks my heart. but here lately, i am being overloaded with work stuff, family stuff, personal stuff, spiritual stuff...i mean i need a u haul to haul all this stuff around.

however, among all these issues i am having, i am very thankful for some special stuff....

1. am thankful that i now have a lady that comes once a week and cleans my house - thank you ms. ella

2. that my son, jacob, is still such a loving child at 10 years old - i quit counting at 20 - the number of times he told me he loved me

3. that my son still sees his momma as the most beautiful woman in the world - he told me i was prettier than carrie underwood

4. that although my daughter, jamie, is still sick, she is getting better

5. for my wonderful friends

6. my hubs - he is the best

7. that i have wonderful church members - they are far kinder to me than i deserve - two showed up at the er thursday night....

8. that i am saved by my Lord and that he loves me unconditionally

9. that failure is never final unless it is the last time i try

10. although some of my friends are facing very hard times - lost jobs, children, family members - that with the love of God and his comfort they are getting better

11. i am alive and have a warm place to lay my head tonight

12. although there is not all of my favorite foods in the kitchen - i am not hungry - and if you have looked at me lately you will know that i could stand to miss a few meals....

13...what are you thankful for....

thoughts and plans for 2010

2010-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

1. first of all it is hard for me to believe that is 2010...it was 10 years ago that my husband and i sat up on NYE and babysat a bunch of computers because of Y2K and NOTHING happened...

2. my daughter is a senior...yes a senior...

3. therefore, I will lose my mind and cry alot

4. spend alot of money because of #2

5. eternally thankful for #2 because 14 years ago we were told to make funeral plans

6. going to the beach in february for a social workers conference

7. going to disney in march with 2 great friends - who without them this trip would not be possible - thanks mike and tami

8. hopefully have lapband surgery in april

9. watch my daughter graduate from high school in may

10. turn 35 in june

11. celebrate my son's 11th birthday in july

12. celebrate 13 years of marriage to my best friend and soul mate in august - his birthday too

13. enroll my daughter in college - cry cry tear tear work work - in september

14. find ghosts and goblins in october - should not be too hard to find

15. be especially thankful in november

16. celebrate the most awesome birthday in december - yes jamie it is your birthday too - but Jesus

17. WORK ON ME!!!!! to be a better person, co worker, social worker, friend, mother, wife, sister, Christian and all that jazz.....

Happy 2010

13 has always been my lucky number....

2010-01-07T23:45:00.000-08:00

I was born on Friday 13, 1975, at 13 minutes till 8 in the morning, weighed 8 pounds and 13 oz and my mom was in room 213. Need I say more? So why should I think tonight would be any different? Sweet 13!

I am an avid sometimes obnoxious Alabama fan. I grew up with my granddaddy watching four and five games - at the same time. I had no choice but to love football. I just want to express though that it is just a game. It is not life or death, and there is no reason for people to be so bitter, mean and ugly. I feel like that if we all supported each other throughout life in various situations we would not have so many hate crimes, needless murders and such. I can honestly say that if Auburn had been playing for the national championship, I would have been pulling for them. Let's support each other and make 2010 the best! Now don't get it twisted, I don't know if I will ever be able to sing Rocky Top! :)

Congratulations to UA for an awesome season!

sick, sick, sicker than a dog...

2010-01-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

i have not disappeared...i am just sooooooooooo sick...i have been sick since Thanksgiving....i have kidney stones twice and now i have an upper respiratory infection from hockey sticks along with bronchitis and double ear infections...i promise i will have more interesting and more pleasant postings in the near future....

i feel like i need to say this...

2009-12-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

sometimes i feel like people don't read my blog...my blog is open to public viewing; therefore, if a stranger reads this and it saves their life or even some heartache then it will be worth it...many of you know that the last part of the summer and into the fall was a very hard time for me...i lost several people who were very dear to me...they ranged in age from 19 to 58...one of the deaths was totally senseless...this is where the story begins...

ambien is a very dangerous drug...i did not believe this for a long time, but now i am convinced it needs to be taken off the market...it is now my mission to contact congressmen, doctors and anyone else who will listen to me about the dangers of this drug...i had been taken ambien for a while because i do have horrible insomnia...i began doing strange things about three weeks ago...cooking in the middle of the night, eating everything in the house, talking in my sleep...well much to my surprise, this morning when i checked the mail, there was a new credit card from cato in there...i have no recollection of this...tonight when i got home there were four packages from amazon on my couch...i only remember ordering two...when i opened the other two i found a book and a party tray organizer...for those of you who know me well know that ordering a book could be considered normal...but a party tray organizer...no way...the kicker to all of this is that i got written up for something at work last week that i have no recollection of...nothing...all of this stuff i do not remember....when i my job became involved i had to draw the line...the only thing i can link it to is the ambien....what if i had gotten behind the wheel of a car...a very dear friend of mine began taking ambien and very shortly after killed himself...he left behind a beautiful wife and two darling daughters....he had no idea what he was doing....this drug is horrible...it may benefit some but the more i research this the more i think it harms more than it does good...

if you don't agree that is fine...but please respect my opinions...i feel this is very heavy on my heart and i am doing my part to bring awareness to the major side effects of this medicine....

ok i'm a thief...but Jesus died beside one...

2009-12-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

My very best friend in the whole wide world posted this. The author is unknown but it is POWERFUL! I hope you get as much out of it as I did!

Letter From Jesus About Christmas

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town. Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it: 1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up . . . It will be nice hearing from you again.4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary - especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS
Human Author Unknown, Divine Author Close To My Heart

stories as promised....

2009-11-29T19:27:00.001-08:00

here is a warning...jamie got her drivers license...i am having issues accepting the fact that she is old enough to be driving and the fact that she graduates this year...i remember her first day of school...even the outfit she wore...pastel checked dress with little ducks and chickens on it...okay on with the story tuesday night she wanted to go over to a friend's house...it is like 10 miles...so stephen told her to go straight there and straight back...to call when she got there and when she left...she did...we were so proud...until...the next morning stephen was taking me to work and when we got in the truck...the tank was empty...yes i said empty...he says, "i am going to kill Jamie...she has run all the gas out and did not bother to tell anybody." i come to her defense and say, well she probably did not have any money...so we go on about our day....that afternoon he came to get me from work and had a smug look on his face...he proceeds to tell me the latest conversation he has had with jamie...jamie has called and wanted to know if she could go to her friend's house...stephen said, "no, not after what you pulled last night." jamie was speechless....stephen had tripped the odometer the night before...when we got in the truck he saw that she had been 56 miles....she was busted....i am sure this is the first of many stories....i just cracked up...for once i am not the bad guy...she stayed at home .....

My Thanksgiving...

2009-11-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

on this thanksgiving, i am lying in bed with kidney stones and also on administrative call for work...my family is spread out right now doing thanksgiving things...now please do not feel sorry for me, my family would have been more than happy to nurse me while we were out at family dinners, but i chose to stay at home and now am really glad i did...i have been reflecting over this past year, and wanted to share some of my thoughts... at this time of year.we look at our successes, failures, losses and so much more. i try to be thankful at all times and give thanks every day..not just once a year. now i am not saying that others are not thankful...i am just saying that i need to be more mindful of what i have and remember to give thanks daily...at one time in my life, i was running like my head was on fire...many people think i still do...the difference is that i have figured out what is of concern to me and what i can influence...i have become more proactive and less reactive...there are some things in our life that we just simply cannot do anything about...we can be concerned about those situations but we must not let them consume us....we need to focus on those areas that we can do something about - our circle of influence....some of you may be reading this and thinking, "ok what happened to ginny...who took her"...i have spent the greater majority of my life focusing on my circle of concern...trying to fix everything...trying to make everyone get along...trying to have the perfect home, with a perfect family, you know the whole 2.5 kids, middle income family...that is just not the way it is...i also spent alot of time worrying about what others thought about me...what were they saying about my religious views, what they thought of how i was raising my children, and here is the big one...the kind of house i live in...i live in a manufactured home - a double wide - ok i said it...for so long i let that define my home....a home is a not a structure...a home is a feeling...after i quit worrying about people thinking less of me because i lived in a manufactured home i became happier and more at peace...it may come as a surprise to many of you but it does bother me what others think of me...i know i come across as this hard nose, purpose driven, goal driven person...i do have a heart...all of my tears, fears, heartaches, sleepless nights, all came to a wonderful resolution a few weeks ago...jamie was not feeling well and she was laying beside me in the bed...she said, "you know momma, when jenifer tries to cuddle up to me it feels so weird, but when i cuddle up with you it is just natural...i love you." that is the moment that i realized that i have so much to be thankful for...i realized that what i do everyday does matter...i realized that i was loved...and i also realized that had so much more to do for my family. there is no greater task given to a woman than to be a mother and a wife...i cannot explain the love i have for my family...but it is great...i just hope that as i begin a new year, i can be more thankful each day...i hope that my circle of influence becomes greater and my circle of concern gets smaller....i am so thankful that my God does not expect perfection, He accepts my failures, He picks me up when i have fallen, He forgives me...i have a great family...oh we have our moments but we love each other dearly....i am so thankful for my children...they are good kids that keep me laughing...i ache for those parents who have lost their children, i cannot imagine...i have a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally - and that is a big job, i have a great job, i have parents that love me and are always there for me, i have a sister that i could not live without, i have the most awesome friends in the world, i so do not deserve any of this...do you remember that song we used to sing in Bible class,"he's still working on me...to make me what i ought to be"...well He is still working on me and it is a blessing that failure is never final unless it is the last time you try" love to all

stories from 104....

2009-11-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

* a few saturdays ago i had to work...jacob wakes me up and says, "momma since you have to work today you need to have breakfast made for you.." so when i get my shower and go in the kitchen, there is a plate, silverware and a juice glass on the table...he then tells his dad, "you are on egg duty" dad tells him the eggs are expired so jacob replies, "well then we will just make her gourmet toast." so when the toast is done...he sits down beside me and puts the butter and jelly on my toast...how sweet is that...

*jamie cleaned up the kitchen a couple of nights ago...so the next morning i get up to get my coffee mug...i open the top rack of the dishwasher and there is something dangling yes i said dangling......i look and it is 3 teabags dangling from the top rack...she had put the tea boiler in the top rack and did not even look to see if there was anything in it...please remember this is the same child who told me she could not scramble the hamburger meat because the meat skillet was dirty...you know we couldn't have washed it or used another skillet...

*jacob gets in the car with my sister the other day after school (she picks them up everyday)...he gets in and he is quiet...yes this is very unusual for him...she asks him what is wrong an dhe announces, "lib i have had a bad day and i am just pissed off." no i do not condone cussing but this just came out of the blue....

this is not a funny story...yet...but jamie has been going out with her friends...i have been allowing her to ride with friends...therefore, i do not get any sleep until she is home...i know that i am the old fart in this group and most of you have little kids...i am telling you it is not fun...love them as babies...they grow up was too fast....

hopefully i will have more later....

heavens to betsie and every other momma in the world...

2009-11-08T18:48:00.001-08:00

mommas unite...is our work ever done? i promise i don't think it is...i get so discouraged when i go over to some of my daughter's friends houses and their house is "show perfect"...it drives me insane...we work in our house everyday but i swear that if an emergency happened and people showed up at my house unexpectedly...i would die and we would have another emergency....how do these women do it...i have washed no less than 7 loads of clothes...folded and put them up....and there is 70 more to do....i ask my daughter to sweep our kitchen and she sweeps half of it...WHAT...i pointed the other part to her and she looked at me like i was crazy...she did go and sweep it up...oh did i mention the medicine bottle she knocked around the floor and still did not pick it up...she usually does a real good job cleaning up...i guess tonight she was just off her game...oh and my son.... if i could figure out a way to burn his room without burning the rest of the house down i would...i am not kidding...it seriously needs Clean House's help...with Niece Nash...she would say it was nothing but foolishness...would it be wrong of me to send him off with his grandfather and go in his room and throw everything away...only leave his bed and dresser...i am SICK of it...those of you who knew me as a child...DO NOT say anything about my room...it was spotless compared to his...i would take a picture of it and put it up here but i am afraid that someone would call DHR and i am so embarrassed to admit something like this is in my house...i am convinced there are things growing in the carpet in his room... seriously...if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE help a sister out....i am about to scream...oh and as my friend beck says, "males should have never been allowed to come inside"...i'm just saying....

thankful thursdays....

2009-10-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

i have so much to be thankful for...too much to list but here are some....
* dear friends that are more like family than friends - i will miss you aunt marsha
* beautiful weather that allowed my aunt marsha enter the pearly gates of heaven
*my dad is almost home - safely
*my job and my coworkers
*my kids - boy do i love those critters
* my friends that understand my eccentricness - is that a word
*every day
*my residents that i work with everyday - they are so sweet
*that i don't have to be sinless and perfect...and the Lord still loves me
*alabama football - sorry it is the fall
*my pets
hope everyone has a great friday

Gin and Beck's Wild God Chase

2009-10-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Santa, I want a GPS because my OCD friend who printed out 8 maps to get to Memphis did not print one to get out of Memphis...We could have gotten to Memphis from Denver. The drive in was great...followed the directions...found hotel that should have been rented by the hour (i will exlpain that later.) found olive garden and found the forum...enjoyed some praise and Jesus and God and Beth and Travis and the list goes no...so it is time to turn in for the evening so that we can be fresh children of the Mighty King...this is where the story derails....see we had maps in every direction going to memphis but noone leading out...so we had to turn afore mentioned maps upside down to try to get out...so we do...EVERY ROAD WE TURNED ON WAS CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went in the same five block circles a bout five times. Don't ask me why we did not stop and ask directions form all the police officers...that would be they were too busy doing something else cause their cars were empty....yes i said empty. So my wonderful friend beck , says, oh there is a group of officers...i roll up to the red light...let me tell yall...they were officers all right just not police officers...they were in one of the groups where you got to kill someone to get in.....look i am into saving lives not ending them....at this point i look at becky and i say "I don't care where the next ramp to the intersection is we are getting on it....it will lead to somewhere." sure enough we find an on ramp get up on the freeway and are welcomed by, "Welcome to Arkansas." At this point i realize becky is terrified of bridges. She has toenails, all 10 of them dug into my carmats....if we had had a wreck she would have broken every stinkin toe...we get across the river and back...we decide that we are going to stop at taco bell....it is open all night....hungry people who know the city will be there....listen they had some fun with us...they knew we were lost...they knew we were from out of town...gave us our drink free and some directions...wrote them down directly...we ended up in corinth, mississippi a good 50 miles from where we were headed....we were so exhasued by the time we got back to our room...we did not know that beth's title of her lessons were going to be, "on a wild God chase" but sister we chased a goose a long time before we got to GOD!!! Praise the Lord. So we checked out the very morning, I overheard a lady say, "We should have these rooms by the hour...we were only here 4! I do it again for GOD!

t-minus not soon enough...

2009-10-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

dear readers...i am so pumped...do you hear me...PUMPED....it is less than 72 hours before i hit the road and have a road trip with my college roommate - becky - we are both so excited...i know alot of times people lose touch with their roommates...well let me tell you me and becky are closer than ever...we have been through marriages, births, deaths, family issues and soooo much more together and i can't wait to see what God has up his sleeve for this Beth Moore conference...to get prepared and for other reasons, becky, suggested, no she TOLD me to go buy the book, "Get Out of That Pit"...i am so glad i did...this woman speaks from her heart....she has not had a rosy life herself...we are alot alike...anyway...besides that we will not have any kids...do not misunderstand me...there are no two women on this earth who love their younguns like me and beck...but she has 3 under 6 and i have a pre teen and a teenager...HELLO.....i am so excited i am having trouble sleeping - do you notice that it is midnight....oh well....

i told my co workers that i was going to get some santification...heaven knows i need it....the past few days i have been thinking how i would look in stripes cause i thought i was going to jail a few times....just for your information...i don't look good in stripes....i am round already and i do not need any help looking like a macy's day balloon floating down broadway....

have a great hump day!!!!

thankful thursday night turned into freaky friday but ended as a super saturday.....

2009-10-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

ever had one of those days when you should have just stayed in bed...when i got home from work yesterday i had been up since 7 on thursday morning...this begins the finish of thankful thursday i have horrible insomnia and i take medication...but sometimes that just does not work...when i laid down thursday night i told my husband, "it is going to be a long night"...anyway...freaky friday morning's alarm clock went off...it did not bother me...i was already awake...anyway, the day started off good...found out i did not have to work on saturday...oh yeah i was convinced i was the manager on duty for saturday... i did not argue...had lunch with my mom and sis...went back to work....looking like i was going to get to leave early...nope that is when the nursing home became the nut house....remember there was a previous post entitled, "nursing homes are not nut houses" - wish i knew how to do that cute little strike through think becky and hillary do...anyway in a matter of 1.5 hours the following happened...lady went out of the building who should not have...she was only on the porch but she just about whooped my tail trying to get her back in the building...another resident knocked the crap out of another one...and an unplanned discharge of a resident...now some of this may not make much sense to some of you but there are a few who truly understand the craziness of this...i did not leave the building until 6:30 pm...by the time i got home i had been up 35 hours...those of you who have lived with me or worked with me know this is NOT good...i absolutely crashed when i got home...super saturday started with me being awakened by alabama's fight song cause the game was about to begin...the only thing that would have been more beautiful to hear would be rammer jammer...i went into the kitchen to get that sacred first cup of coffee to find....my kitchen was CLEAN....my hubs had cleaned it up...so that explains the title...

thankful thursday

2009-10-01T23:01:00.000-07:00

*fall weather
*getting out blankets for the fall and wrapping up with one quilt that my grandmother made*
modern medicine - i have sick children
*patience that i am developing - in other words not going into "reactive mode"
*that my dad is home from his summer job safely
*being able to give back to those who have given me so much
*the mini vacation i have coming up with beck
*some much needed "Jesus" time that I am going to get at the Beth Moore conference
*being able to go buy groceries and concentrate
*my co workers saying, "gin, it is october 1...where is the chocolate"...the little things they remember

In all things give thanks.....

thankful thursday

2009-09-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

i have been busier than a one armed paper hanger - ok that may not be a social worky kind of thing to say...but good grief...school, boy scouts, church, family, work and a thousand other things....

here is my thankful thursday...
- i love our church - been a long road
- my kids do not have the flu - bronchitis and mono
- my hubby - he puts up with my craziness
- my family - all of them - the nuts included
- my job - i have a great job and great boss...she has been so patient these past few weeks
- fall weather
- good books
- quiet time that i am going to get this weekend with the family
- that i still have both of my parents - so many of my friends have lost their parents recently
- my sister - i love her dearly
- SEC football - BAMA the most
- that a dear friend of mine was not seriously injured in a wreck last weekend
- for all of my friends
- for my children - they keep me rolling

now for a jacobism -
- he told someone at work that i was so mean i would make madea run

hope everyone has a great weekend...

be careful....

2009-09-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

When I was a child I had a sunday school teacher who always said that we must be careful for what we pray for and we must be specific...well I am thinking this is nuts because number one God already knows what we are praying for and number two He knows how much of it we need...well of course this is in the mind of 12 year old girl who is more interested in the cute curly blonde guy sitting in the corner chewing on his pencil...

Well for those of you who know me, those of you who have lost track of me, or for those of you who are getting to know me, you should know now thatGod and I have a very strange relationship...I love Him more than anything in this world...but sometimes I get in his way and I can't do what he has planned for me.....I mess things up REAL good...then I get discouraged and at the end of the day I am like, "OK Lord, I have learned my lesson...I know my tongue is going to get my head cut off...I am not going to say anything out of the way to anybody while I am driving home." This seems to work well for a while until I get to the I20 truck stop and Snowman and Smokey the Bandit decide they have to get to Texarkana before midnight...they pull out in front of me and the words fly....

I don't want to place the blame on genetics, even though my grandmother and father can cuss for 30 minutes and never say the same word twice...

Well last week was a rough week...no matter how you cut it...it just was not a good week...so this morning I wake up with a new attitude. This is going to be a good week...I am feeling better...things are looking up. The day starts off pretty quiet and then around lunch it picks up like the last lap at Talladega. I am in a hurry to get a chart to check some labs. I pull the chart out of the rack, which is the right to put it, and the complete guts of the chart fall all over the floor. Mind you the fan is blowing too...so this is a good mess.. I open my mouth to let some well thought out obscenities fly and there stands the chaplain. He looked at me...I looked at him...I bit my tongue. I don't know that he knew what was going through my head - I really hope he did not. I just sat down in the floor and started putting this chart back together.

So this is what Marlyn meant when she said we must be careful what we pray for and be specific...yes I want temperance and patience but not necessarily today! Thank you God for showing me your might and power right in front of everybody today!

life is but a vapor....

2009-08-30T18:51:00.001-07:00

the Bible teaches us that life is but a vapor...so many times we especially myself take that for granted....i think oh i am just 34 years old i have plenty of time left on this earth...or there will always be tomorrow...over the past couple of weeks it has been layed on my heart that we are not promised tomorrow and that things can change in a blink of an eye...two weeks ago i buried a sweet friend of mine who was like a niece to me...yes she had fought cancer for 14 years but she was only 19 years old...in a moment her life and her family's life changed forever...this young lady did not like to be told that she was an "inspiration"...she would say "what choice did i have?" but she was an encouragment...she was a light to this dark world...she was always concerned for others....i also buried a dear friend of mine that i went to high school with...his death was very unexpected...he left a family behind and so many friends....he was ever the practical joker and could always make you smile....this past friday night our head football coach who was one of my teachers when i was in school died suddenly of a massive heart attack...he got to feeling bad during the game...ambulance took him to the hospital but before he got there he died...i used to go to church with coach...he would practice the boys until 6 on wednesday night bring them to church in his truck...stinking to the high heavens...he did not smell that good either...they would eat dinner at church and then go to class...he was a Christian first and a coach second...he lived the talk everyday....he was only 48 years old...the older i get the younger that seems...he was the only dad some of these kids have ever had...it is just really sad that such positive people's lives are cut short...and yesterday we buried a fine Christian man who helped build the church where i grew up...quiet but strong...he left a grandson who loved him so much...he is beside himself and sad...but we know that they are in heaven with the other angelsmy hope is that i can remember that we are not promised tomorrow...

life is good....

2009-08-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

i am so blessed...i am so excited...i have had a pretty rough week with just various work related junk...but i have a job...anyway...had i known that things were going to work out the way have this week i could be sitting in atlanta, ga, with some girlfriends at the women of faith conference...but you see God knows so much more than i do...one of my favorite sisters...becky...called me and said, do you remember talking about going to see beth moore in memphis, tn, in october...i said yes...she says would you still like to go...i said yes...i don't know what changed and i am not asking any questions, but me and my "siesta" are booked to go see her, booked at the holiday inn and are ready for a road trip....we were college roommates...we met one night and became roommates the same night...i know beck is reading this but i must tell everyone if you need someone to pray for you or just get you straight beck is the one...she has been my rock through so many things...now don't get me wrong..all of my other "siestas" are special too...in your own way...becky is special to me just as you all are....i am in need of some God time, some beck time and some rejuvination time...i think that is a word....and to top it off...

i have tickets to the university of alabama homecoming game against south carolina...life is good....

i need deoderant....

2009-08-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

ok so we are all in the back to school swing of things....we were at walmart sunday night battling the gangs of people in pell city....yes i said gangs...i really think they would fit in nicely on some street in la...anyway...my son, aka opie, says, "mom, i need to tell you something"...that sounds innocent enough..he says, "i need some deoderant"...ok, he is 10 years old, so i was not totally caught off guard...it was the next statement that got me, "i want dad to help me"...i have been bumped..,dethroned...ok...so i suck it up and say ok...so i tell my hubby the situation...he lovingly takes opie to the "smell good" aisle...by the time we left walmart we had every flavor of axe product you can think of...as my dad would say, "he was going to smell like a siagon street walker"....ok so anyway we buy the products and go home...

i was not prepared for the next series of events...we get home and opie says, "i am ready to take my shower"...please remember this is my own personal pigpen...you know the character from peanuts...i said, "excuse me"..."yes i am ready to take my shower...tomorrow is the first day of school and i have to smell good for dana"...now dana is a little girl that he has been infatuated with for a couple of years...ok...so we get the shower and we get "axed" up... he gets out of the shower and is so excited...he wants me to smell him...oh he smelled so good...do you know how long it has been since my little boy smelled good...yes we bathe him but he has had this "male smell" for about a year...

so the first day of school went off without a hitch...he came home to tell me that he "almost caught that fish" referring to dana...after i explained to him how ladies do not like to be called names..he informed me that he needs to take a shower in the morning so that he "is fresh"...i thought i would fall in the floor...sure enough he geets up tuesday morning and takes a shower and gets all "axed up" again...he comes home to tell me, "momma, i caught that fish today"...of course i laughed but again reminded him how ladies do not like to be referred to as animals...so he is now convinced that if he smells good then dana will forever be his girl....now for the finale....

last night i asked him, "jacob, did you ask dana to go with you?" he says, "go where?" there you go folks modern day mayberry with a real live opie...

happy anniversary to us....

2009-08-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

12 years ago today i was married to the most wonderful man left on the face of the earth...now for those of you who don't know the story here it is...we met on a blind date...the first words out of his mouth were, "i have been married once and i am not going down that road again." that was in january, we were engaged in february and married in august - all of the same year...i suddenly was a wife and a mother to a beautiful little girl named jamie...truth be known i fell in love with her before i fell in love with her dad....we have been through alot in 12 years...we have had a little boy who keeps us on our toes, we have watched our beautiful daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady, we have made so many memories together....words can never describe the joy that stephen has brought to me nor how much he has taught me...he has not knocked my teeth out for my smart mouth...he lets me do whatever i want...he supports me in every hairbrained idea i have...i hope that he loves me as much as i love him...i hope we have many many more years together...i love you stephen....

it does not get better than this....

2009-08-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

i guess me posting on blogspot and facebook is redundent...but some of the people who answer or follow my blog are not on facebook and vice versa...with that said i feel a bit abandoned...several people who read facebook answer or comment on my notes but i feel like i have stalkers on blogspot with no commenters...ok maybe i don't have anything better to do....or think about it...so my strategy is to see how many people i can make jealous once i tell how wonderful of a day i had today....ok i know that is not a real Christian thing to do but a woman is forced to take drastic measures....so here goes...

i worked 2 hours today and got paid for a whole day...now i worked saturday as manager on duty but i had to leave early because of children but anyway...i worked 2 hours this morning and went to the doctor...now not a great visit but i did find out why my shoulder hurts...i have torn my labrum which is the tissue that anchors the tendons and ligaments in place as well as keeping your shoulder in the socket...please do not ask me how i did it because it is VERY stupid....probably going to have to have surgery but oh well that is not new for me...now on to the good stuff...

i went to have lunch with a very good looking man...i asked him not to tell his wife and he asked that i not tell my husband...mmmmm they are the same people...lol.....then i went to the galleria and did some school shopping....got my nails done...something i don't ever do...came home and my hubby...that same guy i had lunch with...cooked supper....chicken fettucini alfredo....it was delicious....it has been a good day....no it has been a great day.....

it's over till next year!!!!!

2009-08-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

whew!!!! i have survived another state survey! it is over thank goodness....it has been a long week...they finally left the building about 9pm on thursday night...we finished with 7 tags and we are going to dispute one of them...one of the tags i totally disagree with, but i am not going to discuss that...we did not get any "F" tags...this is HUGE....the good thing is that because they stay so long and there is down time for those of us who are not on the firing line...i was able to get caught up on alot of paperwork, filing and such that has been piling up on my desk...of course then it was my turn to be on the firing line...we have a new administrator who is AWESOME...bless her heart....her first full week on the job and the state walks in the building...i have high hopes for us and i think we are a great LIVING CENTER....i feel like i have the potential to grow both personally and professionally...i am super excited...i have been down and doubtful over the past couple of months but i am refreshed now...hope everyone has a great week!!!!!

2 down 1 to go...

2009-07-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

sorry i have been mia for a while...it has been a crazy crazy couple of weeks...i have been so busy at work sometimes i have to remind myself to go to the bathroom...ok maybe tmi but that is the truth...i am much happier now...we have a new administrator who seems to be a big team player and does not criticize everything we do...we have gone through alot of changes lately....i know this may bore some of you to tears, but maybe it will make someone kind of understand what i do...

i was asked to go work in another building two days a week...this was in march...this was one of our sister facilities that was having problems...i might add it was pretty cool that the director of operations specifically asked for me....ok i know i should not brag but it made me feel good...so i went on march 17 and about 2 hours later the state walked in at that building...so i survive that survey...then the social worker at that building quit as well as their administrator....so my administrator from pell city was asked to go to boaz - "temporarily"...

so kim and i are in boaz and trying to hire a sw with half a brain...we finally get that accomplished and guess what...state comes back...this time it is for the annual survey...can you say big kahuna...so i go through all this again...new social worker did not start until after survey - remember she has no long term care experience so i have to start at scratch to train her...it is very hard to find social workers who have long term care experience...for some reason people think the elderly are ooey gooey stinky or something.....

so then may 19th rolls around when i decided it would be fun to pass out at work...this begins my whole medical drama...so i finally go back to work on july 1 to find out that kim is not coming back to pell city....so we have this interim administrator that i am not even going to discuss...let's just say we did not gee haw...i was disappointed that kim did not come back...but things work out the way they are intended to....so we had an interim administrator for about three months....those were very trying three months...finally they hired a permanent administrator...

now if you are still reading you are a dear friend or you are just bored and have nothing better to do...

so now that you are up to speed - like you really cared - this week is her second week officially on the job; however, today was her 5th day in the building....so on tuesday morning the state walked in for our annual survey and she had been in our building for a grand total of three days...but i work for a great company and they sent in the calvary...i think survey is going well...it is just long days...i think our new administrator is the breath of fresh air we have been looking for and needing...the coolest thing about it is that she is a preceptor for the administrator in training program through the alabama nursing home association...so what does that mean...that means that she is going to help me get my administrator's license....i am so excited...

so these surveyors have left at about 6 or 630 each night...they are not staying as late as the ones in boaz did...can you say 11 pm and i had an hour drive home...anyway tomorrow is the last day barring any major catastrophies....and we will be done for another year.....yeah....thanks for reading....

to my son - i love you

2009-07-24T20:43:00.001-07:00

it is hard for me to believe that you are 10 years old...you will be starting the 5th grade this year...you are a miracle for me...i was told i would never have children and if i did it could be harmful to me...well guess what..God gave me you...i knew from the very first weeks that you would be a boy...i knew your name would be jacob...i never picked out a girl name...when i would go to the grocery store i would tell your daddy, "me and jacob are going to the store"...or if i was going to take a bath i would say, "me and jacob are going to take a bath.."or if i was going to bed, "daddy, me and jacob are going to bed..."of course there was the time when i was pregnant with you that my back hurt really bad and i thought a hot bath would be nice...well your fat momma got stuck in the bathtub...this is not a lie...it truly happened...

when you were born, it was LONG day...your Aubie paced the hallway, my epidural would not take...they kept telling me i was having "ligament pains"..i never understood why they would not let me see you...they let me touch you for a brief moment...they whisked you away to nicu...you were not breathing and your lungs were full of fluid...i thought that i was going to lose you...i cried...i did not want anything to be wrong with you...i did not get to see you again until the next day...dad did not warn me that they had put an iv in your head...so i walk in and there is my little boy with needles in his head...needless to say i had the docs cornered like a rabid dog...the docs told us your lungs were under developed and you would always be sick...boy if they could see you now...

you are so smart, funny, witty and everything i could ever hope for in a boy...like when your teacher wanted you to read for fluency and you said, "i can read...you can read...what's the point?"...or when you told the preacher that, "me and poppa are going to drink coffee and chase women"...or walking out of the bathroom swinging your sister's underclothes from your light saber...there is never a dull moment with you in my life...i love you so much...i hope you have many more happy birthdays...

a quick trip to the beach....

2009-07-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

we have been trying all summer to go to the beach...so we just said forget planning...let's go...so we left on friday to go to pensacola...our favorite place...we have had so much fun..stephen took jacob fishing today off of the pensacola pier...jacob caught three big fish but only landed one...it was a spanish mackrel..the other two were so big his line broke both times..the coolest thing though was we saw a sea turtle in the gulf...it was huge..it weighed at least 300 pounds...we could not get a picture because it came up quickly and then went back down pluse it was at sunset...pic may not have developed...anyway...it was cool...something we all saw...here are some pics.. my sweet angel girl

me and my hubby

sunset at pensacola...most beautiful one ever

my sweet demons i mean angels

look what i caught

not sure what we were doing but the expressions are priceless...

sand angel

my diva...

this was the most still he was the whole trip

the way i spent my first day off....

2009-07-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

this should be of great enjoyment to anyone who reads this...i woke up this morning to no water...now before i go any further...you must understand that we have more utility problems than the common citizen...we have a power company whose CEO is Mickey Mouse (we have lost power 6 times this summer - all were transformers that had been hit by lightening) ...we have a phone company that is run by The Wiggles (if anything wiggles in the atmosphere the phone and internet go out) and our local water department is run by Barney Fife...(if you should have a water problem good luck getting anyone out here to look out...and if they come out then they pull up in the yard honk the horn and holler "what's the problem?" to which i have responded numerous times, "that is what i called you for!" ok so on to the story...so i call the water department...this is the conversation...lincoln water department...yes has anyone reported a water problem off of ridge drive...no...well we have no water...no one has called and if it was our problem we would have received more calls...well i still don't have water...have you checked your pressure regulator...no what is that...a mechanism on your turn on / off valve...no...well you need to go check it before you call us...so you are not going to send anyone out to check it...i did not say we were not going to send anyone out but you still need to check your pressure regulator...

ok so by this time i am furious...i go outside to see if i can find the on/off valve to check this infamous pressure regulator...like i really know what i am looking for...only to discover my yard is full of water and continues to pour out from under the house like niagra falls...ok so at this point it is not the pressure regulator nor is it the water department's problem...so i have to call them back to tell them not to send anyone out...yes this was embarrassing but let the fact remain they were ugly....so i tell them it appears to be a broken pipe...hang up the phone...go out to again find this valve...find it and cut if off...

so i call the plumber we have used before...no return call...called another guy that i went to high school with...no return phone call and then i hear someone honking in the yard...i go to the door to find the local water department...they roll their window down and say "what's the problem?" I tell them that i called and told them not to send anyone out...well the other genius in the truck says, "There is your problem water is coming out from under your house." i wanted to say, "really sherlock" honestly, there were other thoughts that were going through my mind...

so they leave and i call a third plumbing company...they will get all of my future business...why because they called me back and had someone out here within 2 hours...you would think as tight as money is right now people would do a better job at customer service...so these two guys come out who looked like i needed to make them sit down and do their homework and fix them some cookies and kool aid....come out in the rain...they come in to tell me that a pipe had come loose under the house and the reason it did was because it looked like it had been repaired before but whoever repaired it only glued one side...that person would be the plumber we had used before...note to self...don't use him again...anyway they got it fixed and i have water....

i don't do domestic problems well...if you really want to see me mad let a "machine" break...such as no air conditioning...car problems..dishwasher...now let's add water...i deal with personal emotional problems not machines...

so hopefully the rest of my time off will be spent relaxing while we are at the beach...we leave in the morning...i am so excited...just to get away....